"It is not fair Elliot."

"Not one single person ever said it was, Liv."

"Don't give me that crap. I can take it from everyone else. From the doctors and nurses, hell I can even stomach it from Fin if I have to…." lifting dark eyes to meet his Olivia murmured, "… but not from you."

"After a decade and a half in our job there should be no two people in the world better prepared to handle this kind of crap and yet I got nothing. I'm standing here watching our son give everything he's got just to keep air in his lungs and I have no clue how to help him. I trust my gut on everything I do but right now it's knotted up so tight I…."

"I couldn't live with myself if I thought we let him live in a pain." Said Olivia, though it took away her own breath even to think it.

"But what if he can beat this? What if we're looking back a year from now remember how we stood right here, right now and made the choice to let him fight?"

"The doctors said….."

"I don't care." Interjected Elliot quickly, never having set much store by textbook diagnosis or the hypothetical projection of a human ability to challenge seemingly insurmountable odds. "I have seen how people prove them wrong every single day. We both have. We've talked to people in the same situation we're in right now and I'm sure as hell I never told a single one of them to just give up."

"It isn't giving up, El….." murmured Olivia with a lost, faraway expression on her face and so much pain in tired eyes, "….if it was it'd be easy."

"None of this has been easy. Not since you first fell pregnant with him."

"What if we're taking the easy way out we just don't realise we're doing it?" she asked, taking him with her to the place her troubled mind had washed up. "What if we're trying to convince ourselves that we're letting him fight, that we're not giving up on him and that we're doing the right thing….."

"You think we should let him go?" asked Elliot, incredulous she could even entertain the notion.

"Don't think it doesn't make me sick to my stomach to even say the words out loud Elliot This is every bit as horrible for me as it is for you andit is my fault that he's got born into this hell too soon but what if our job as his parents is to make the choice he can't make for himself?"

"This is not your fault Olivia." Though he knew no matter how many times he said it she would never allow it to permeate.

"I just don't know how long I can watch him struggle….." confessed Olivia, turning around and closing her eyes she leant her head back on the glass and breathed, "… I really don't."

"What the actual fuck?"

"Surprise?" said Fin with a wince as he stood in the doorway of Atlanta's sex crimes precinct with his ponytail, black jacket and that black eyed smile.

"Fin am I seeing things right now or?" the grip Amanda Rollins had on the coffee cup in her hand tightened as she stared, wide and incredulous at the sight of a familiar stranger in a new land. "What the hell are you doing all the way down here?"

"You could've called."

"No, no I couldn't." She replied with an adamant, unwavering stare from defensive eyes.

"You didn't even say goodbye."

"I know."

"What's up with that?" he asked, persistent in his belief that she ought not be allowed to just walk out. No one should be. He had done it all too many times and no good had ever come of its cowardice. Walking away without word nor warning had cut deeper than he cared to admit to himself, let alone her, but he wasn't about to let words go unspoken after everything that had happened to all of them in the few weeks prior.

"Fin there's something you should…."

"Forget it. I don't even care anymore. I wouldn't be here if I did. I just came to speak my mind and then I'm done. I'm good. What you wanna do with the information is your business."

"Information?" asked Rollins, cocking her head with a curious little smile.

"You're pretty much the most badass little blonde I've ever met….." declared Fin with a guttural, lilting smiled delivery that grew to an anticipatory grin as he crossed the empty squad room and grabbed at her tiny waist with bear like paws and dragged her into him, "….and I came all the way down here to do this."

"Fin!" came the muted squeal as Rollins attempted, for a couple of fleeting seconds, to spurn his advances. "Fin we shouldn't….." but there was nothing in her tone, the way her body inclined into his or the growing desire in her eyes that sang of anything other than a desire to surrender to his kiss.

"No, no this has to be us. This has to be a decision we both make. We have to be more together on this than anything we've ever done. We won't survive this otherwise. So you need to let me in Elliot. You need to put me in your head so I can figure out…."

"Where's your head at?" cut in Elliot, having been entirely somewhere else.

"This isn't you show me yours I'll show you mine, we're not high school kids this is serious." Vocally stamping her feet Olivia shot him a withering stare and shook her head with frustration.

"I don't need to figure anything out. I need you to put me in your head and tell me what you need to happen next. This is me letting you in. We do what you want. You won't survive this otherwise and I need you, Liv. That's what I need."

"El….." she wavered, knowing he meant every word he spoke with gruff edged trepidation.

"You risked your life to get him this far…." murmured Elliot, reaching across and stroking his thumb across her cheekbone, "… you jump, I jump."

"I want to hold him. I need to hold my boy."

"Okay."

"I know they said I can't. I hear them talking about sterile environments and infections and the risk involved but I don't care. He was doing just fine until they cut him out of me and I can't make this call while we're on opposite sides of a plastic box. They can bitch all they like but…."

"Liv?" asked Elliot softly, reaching across and wrapping his hand around her wrist.

"Yeah?" catching her breath she stared at him and waited patiently for the words behind eyes that loved her in a way she had never even dared to dream someone one day might.

"When are you gonna figure out that I'm on your side?" chuckling to himself Elliot suspected it would take a lot more than a ring on her left hand for Olivia Benson to realise she no longer had to be a lone wolf. Having spent her childhood and after that her entire adult life fighting her own corner and being the only one looking out for herself it was quite an adjustment to understand what personal, not just professional partnership could mean.

"You gonna quote Titanic on me again now Leo?" she mocked with a tired smile, remembering his earlier words.

"You don't have to go it alone anymore….." he affirmed, knowing in her heart of hearts the truth was she was afraid to allow herself to depend on him that much, "…. just try remember that, okay?"

"Okay." She answered simply.

"We can't ever take that back."

"Nope."

"You want to?"

"Maybe…." sighed Rollins with a light tremble in her voice as she rolled onto her side and met Fin's eyes, her face warming to a grinning smile, "….nope."

"What's going on here?" asked Fin, fishing his hand out from under the duvet and ruffling Amanda's wispy blonde bed hair over her face with a smirk.

"You come all the way down here on an interstate booty call and then you bitch about my hair?" landing a light, ineffectual punch against his shoulder Amanda rolled her eyes.

"Hey, hey this ain't no booty call…." protested Fin, shaking his head against the pillow with gentle, chocolate bedroom eyes pouring over her.

"You're in my bed, detective….." murmured Rollins, swirling her fingers across the swarthy rug of dark hair on Fin's chest, "… what else would it be?"

"I dunno…." said Fin with a refreshingly honest shrug, as he reached to his chest and wrapped his paw like palm around her dainty fingers, "….but not that."

"Fin you gotta go home."

"No I don't." He protested without pausing for breath nor opportunity for doubt.

"Yeah, yeah you do…." she whispered regretfully, leaning forward and pressing her lips against his. As his mouth fell open she closed her eyes and allowed their tongues to dance around the words she couldn't say.

"I don't wanna go home." He said, breathless, as they prized their bodies apart a while later.

"You and Munch are about all Cragen has left right now and he's counting on you. And what about Liv? What about those kid of hers that you're so damn crazy about? They need you in New York."

"Come back with me." It wasn't a question, he couldn't afford for it to be. That would give her the option to refuse and he wouldn't entertain the possibility, so instead he made it almost an order.

"I can't….." and then seeing he needed more, and knowing he deserved it Rollins sighed heavily and confessed, "….you cut me off earlier before I got a chance to tell you that I'm here for another 4 months at least. My captain squared it away with Cragen this morning."

"Cragen is your Captain." Said Fin with a flat refusal to accept what she was saying.

"Not right now he isn't….." said Amanda quietly, though she had to admit it felt alien to her as a concept and sat uncomfortably on her loyal conscience, "… not for the next few months."

"This is messed up."

"Fin I….." but he turned away, rolling himself upright and reaching to pull on his t-shirt, "…. wait, no, don't be like that. Don't do this."

"I should get going."

"What did you expect?" she asked, sitting up and tugging the sheet around her modesty as she stared at him with a demanding expectancy in her expression. "What did you think would happen when you just showed up here Fin?"

"You gotta get out of the boat, Peach."

"What?" she asked, entirely thrown.

"I didn't expect anything. I didn't think anything would happen. I didn't think at all. I just bought a ticket and got on a plane."

"That's all great but life doesn't always…."

"You can't just sit in the damn dinghy waiting for someone to come save your sorry ass. You'll freeze to death before they even figure out you're gone. You gotta figure out your own shit. You gotta get out of the boat."

"I owe my captain down here and I have to work this case for him. I have to. I can't come back with you Fin. I'm sorry."

"Yeah….." he sighed, buckling his belt and sighing heavily as he leant down and kissed her with a lingering goodbye, "… yeah me too."

"Sometimes I wonder….." murmured Olivia, clutching a bundle of painfully tiny little arms and legs against her aching chest and rocking Sam lightly, "….what if she lied?"

"Who, babe?" replied Elliot, equally softly as he leant forward in his chair. Bracing his elbows against his knees his hand was outstretched, stroking the knuckle of his index finger ever so lightly against Sam's little purple pink leg.

"What if she made it up….." she swallowed slowly, barely able to believe she was saying the words out loud to him let alone in the presence of her son, "… what if it wasn't rape."

"Liv you were your mom's whole life and she would never have…."

"You know when I look at him all I see is you. The same with Evie. Not just because she has your eyes and he's got your jaw…."

"He has got my jaw." Elliot couldn't help himself but add with an almost unbearable swell of pride.

"Even though you're a pain in my ass and you can be a real son of a bitch at times our kids exist because you loved me….." there was nothing more beautiful or poignant than the pain behind Olivia's tragic history, "…. I don't know that I could've loved them if…."

"Of course you could, of course you would…." sighing heavily Elliot slid off his chair, kneeling beside her and pressing his face into her shoulder, "… they'd still be every bit as incredible because they'd still be yours. Don't do this to yourself, not now, not when you're already out of your mind with…."

"I can't let him go, El."

"He's not getting any better." Said Elliot, not because he disagreed but because he trusted that they were strong enough for him to play the counter argument. Where earlier they had held reversed positions and tested the strength of their sails now it was Elliot's turn to say the unthinkable. "He's not gaining weight. He can't breathe on his own. His heart and his lungs are…."

"Everything about how he came into this world was violent and scary and cruel and it would be so easy to just end this now. To say that it wasn't meant to be. That it's too hard, it's too painful, that the price is too high to pay but…."

"Your mom paid it for you." Murmured Elliot, his lips warm on her skin as he kissed her shoulder through the thin material of her cornflower blue hospital gown.

"Whatever happened to her in the past she knew my future would never be easy. She knew just how hard I would have to fight but she trusted that I was strong enough to survive it…." closing her eyes and allowing silent, loaded tears to slip hot down her cheeks Olivia flashed her son a smile and rocked him ever so gently, "….and we have to trust him. We have to trust that our boy is strong enough to survive this."

"You know your mom had a lot of faults and I have no clue whether all of what she told you is true or not. She made a lot of mistakes, she got a lot of things wrong and I don't love the hell she put you through as a kid but as far as I'm concerned none of that matters ….." tasting salt as he pressed a kiss against her cheek Elliot moved slightly lower and caught her lips on his, murmuring "….not when I'm looking at the one thing she got right."

"I wanna go home."

"What was that, babe?" he murmured exhaustedly, barely catching the words as they escaped her. "What'd you need?" brushing the hair from her neck Elliot leant forward and pressed a kiss against her collar bone, "What'd you need?"

"I wanna be here with him. All the time, every second, I do. I just can't stay here another night or I'll lose my mind. I want to sleep in my own bed with you and Evie….."

"Okay there isn't a chance I'm letting Mouse and her wriggly little butt in your bed until you're….."

"Take me home, El?" she entreated, turning her head and allowing it to fall slightly to the side as she gave him her whole self and whispered, "Please, please take me home?"

"You got it…." he nodded, leaning against her chair but careful not to nudge Sam, "….sit tight here with him and I'll grab your bag and tell them we're shipping out."