Notes on paper

By Cedari

Disclaimer: JK Rowling for characters

Page 1

I want to write something down, anything down. I've never been a great writer. I can't weave stories that when spoken run like silk from the tongue. Words that wrap around you, suffocate you with their meaning, their clawing emotion. It's frustrating knowing that all these violent, burning feelings are coursing through you but you can't describe them. I've tried. They say it would be good for me as I refuse to talk to anyone about it. "Write something down Hermione. It'll help. It means that you won't be bottling it inside." It's all bullshit. What do they think, that once the ink dries on the paper, poof, all the shitness inside me has been purged out. That I'll be brand spanking new again. I'd think they were idiots if their walls weren't lined with certificates in shiny gold frames, so instead, I give them the benefit of the doubt and I try it. This is actually the tenth time. The other nine are scattered from my desk to the bin. I was never good at sports.

So here I go. Are you ready?

Well don't be. It'll probably be a huge let down. One of those things you read then throw away, thinking what a fucking waste of time.

But then at the same time you've got to question how rude that is. There you are, tossing away something that some poor sod has slogged away on for months, years. Putting in pieces of themselves in a hundred odd pages, just so they can let you in their world, their own private, beautiful world. It should be a privilege, no?

Either way, love it, hate it, couldn't give a shit. Here I am, all laid out for you. Bare naked on pages, spread eagled and waiting for your assessment. Am I mad? Am I still deeply in love? Do I harbour dark, twisted feelings that mean I want to sleep with my father? Well I don't know. That's your job.

So here goes.

The reasons why I dream of liquid grey eyes and then scream myself awake when I feel his body next to mine.

Oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

A/N A random thing that I wrote down. Not sure what i wanna do with it. Any thoughts, let me know

Cedari