"He's not gonna make it," Zaeed informed her as the bloody turian in her arms gagged and sputtered. She shared a desperate glance with the mercenary and felt an overwhelming twist of fear in her heart.
No, not Garrus.
His navy blue blood, something she never wanted to see, had pooled around them all to stain her armor and coat her fingertips. Without much thought, she reached over to wipe the trickles of blood from his nose, a useless endeavor, but something to comfort them both nevertheless. His faded eyes flickered over to her and for a brief moment, Shepard caught his sense of finality.
She didn't have the guts to study the part of his face blown away for more than a few brief glances - enough to know that there was a deep gouge where skin and plating should have been. Pieces of him, shards of thick exoskeleton and soft bits of tissue, hung limply from the wound; only holding by mere threads of skin.
"Garrus, hold on," she pleaded urgently, her voice cracking as she met his gaze once again. She refused to cry, for his sake and her own while he refused to break contact with her, struggling to move even though it was simply a futile shudder. His head lolled to the side, unable to keep it's own awkward weight and blood spewed from his mouth to splatter on her onix armor.
"I'm telling Joker to send the shuttle. It isn't safe to carry him all the way back," Miranda stated, stepping away from them to speak to the Normandy. Her voice carried in the high ceiling of Garrus' sanctuary as she disappeared to the lower levels to carry out the request.
"Zaeed, make sure the bastards that are left don't decide to investigate," Shepard ordered, the military part of her still alive and focused as Garrus coughed up more blood. The hired merc nodded as he too, travelled downstairs to wait out any other freelancers.
As soon as he was out of earshot, she reached over to lift Garrus' head off the ground and into her lap. Mindful of the points of his crest, she stroked the ridge beneath his good eye and visor. "Please hang on," she whispered, feeling hot tears blur her vision until they overflowed down her face. There was no point of masking her emotions, especially with Garrus. The turian knew her more than anyone else she had come into contact with. Perhaps it was his gentle charisma that had gotten the better of her... or she had simply allowed him closer when she travelled down to the Mako.
She made no initiative to hide from the turian and Garrus studied her tears silently in his dazed state before grunting his protest. With a shaky raise of his hand, he touched her cheek and scrapped bloody fingers across it to wipe away her tears. "I thought I lost you," he gurgled, gasping for the breath he lost. With the loss of one mandible- the flesh simply dangling on the corner of his mouth- his voice seemed obscure as he drowned in blood. "You have no idea... how nice this feels; to know that you're safe," he continued, closing his eyes as she kept her hand along his undamaged side.
"And what about you?" She murmured indignantly, "I come back from the dead and now you're trying to leave me? Don't you remember the life-of-servitude-contract you signed?"
His chuckle was nothing more than choking, "I don't recall, but I probably would have... happily signed it." Pain kept his features in a stiff grimace, but his gaze grew more serious as he studied her. "For a smile."
On cue, Shepard smiled for him. It was weak and a pathetic attempt to ignore what was happening. Still, he tried to smile in return for her, a gentle understanding that was sent through his entire being with the frightening prospect that he wouldn't survive the next few moments. Shepard tried to hide that fact from her heart, but it still burned a hole even through the military's protective shield.
"See?" He managed with another audible gasp. "Consider it signed."
His rough plating was cold to the touch, something she had not expected to feel through her gloves. The feeling of the chill made her cringe at the realization of how fast she was losing him to death's embrace. Her eyes flickered closed, recalling the memories of their earlier discussions and she whimpered internally at the unyielding turian factoids he had offered once upon a time.
It had been a chilly night on the Normandy with the crew already dreaming in their cabins. Shepard had instinctively taken the long elevator ride to the lower level, where Garrus still tinkered with the Mako from her latest exploration. Such restless nights for her normally meant spending quality time discussing Garrus' C-Sec work or the most recent mission while he diligently repaired the rover.
More often than not, he disappeared beneath the Mako while Shepard leaned against it to discuss all that was riling her up inside. His responses were short and brief, but it kept her going till she was exhausted enough to retire for the night.
"There's going to be a time when your driving skills will prevent me from being able to fix it," he stated with resigned amusement, tilting his head in her direction as soon as the elevator doors closed. She shivered at his tone, but he caught the movement and turned to fully face her with a snort of curiosity.
"You're cold?" He inquired, moving away from his post to approach her. It was the first time he was willing to depart the Mako's repairs and pay keen attention to her actions. At first, Shepard hesitated when the expectation of a normal night faded, but remained still as he grew closer.
Without invitation, he carefully wrapped his arms around her shoulders and along with it came an expanse of heat. "Turians expend heat a lot more than humans. So if we're the ones cold, then you should worry," he explained lightly. Though Shepard had never considered being chilled, she gratefully accepted the extra heat with a light sigh.
It was the first time he had touched her beside the occasional tug to duck behind cover.
"The shuttle's landing on the bridge!" Miranda cried as she trotted over, pausing to study her Commander's tender caresses on a turian for only a second. It was enough for Shepard to wiggle away from beneath his head to try and lift him. Her XO rushed to assist, grabbing his injured side and moving onward with Shepard.
He was heavy in a bulky sort of way and his feet dragged behind him as the two women quickened their pace. He groaned in pain and distress, but refused to close his eyes - something Shepard was silently grateful for. If his eyes closed, it only meant that he was fading farther away.
"You remember our argument Garrus?" Shepard insisted as a sort of distraction, watching as his glazed eyes refocused with concentration. It was all she needed to keep him in the present and Miranda sighed pleasantly at the change of focus.
Ahead, the low hum of the shuttle echoed within the building and Shepard could barely make out the shuttle landing where Zaeed stood in wait. There was no sign of potential danger and she took it as a good sign that the freelancers dispersed as soon as the gang leaders were killed.
"What argument?" He coughed, staining Miranda's uniform. The XO made no complaint or xenophobic retorts and instead crooned slightly to comfort him.
Scanning through the amount of memories she had of their discussions, she searched for something important. Something he had battled her for with little or no success. Something that mattered. "Remember your comments about Alenko?" She drilled, glancing down at his battered face for any sign of recognition. His eyes flickered with mellowed anger and he grunted with acknowledgement. "It was after saving the Citidel and-"
"I remember," He groaned as Shepard dragged him aboard the shuttle. Placing him carefully between Zaeed and herself, she immediately ushered most of his unbalanced weight to her side. He didn't hesitate to drop his head over her own, exposing his injured side to the ceiling and his visor pressing firmly on the crown of her skull.
"Well, I was thinking about seeing him again," she lied, wincing at the fact that she barely knew where Kaiden was stationed. Surprisingly, it didn't bother her as much as she initially assumed. "I was hoping to hear your reasoning why I shouldn't."
Miranda immediately placed a strong hand on Shepard's knee, shaking it gently to gain her attention from beneath the mass of turian. "He really shouldn't speak Shepard," she whispered; her gaze roving over Garrus with mild concern.
"No," Garrus muttered into her temple between ragged breathing. "I want- he doesn't... deserve you... not anymore..."
He spoke little after that, his voice only rising above a whisper to groan in his agony. Shepard was surprised he was able to remain conscious with so much blood spilled, but perhaps it was within turian make up. It was something she was willing to never experience again.
Most of her crew was stationed outside the hold as soon as the shuttle docked, rushing forward with a gurney of sorts from the medical wing. She barely had the time to blink before Garrus was taken from her grasp and whisked away to Dr. Chawkwas. Stunned, she stood and stared at her hands, covered in what looked like blue dye.
"I informed the crew that Garrus needed medical attention on your behalf. I didn't want us trying to drag him upstairs," Miranda explained cautiously, leaning over to place that strong hand this time on her shoulder. "You should shower and clean up."
Shepard found herself on autopilot - following Miranda's suggestion and briefly visiting her quarters to escape the confines of her armor as well as wipe away any hints of Garrus' predicament. Her fingertips barely brushed across surfaces and when she stubbed her toe on the corner of her bed, the pain didn't make it to the brain. Everything had become numb except for the entangled worrying part of her.
If Garrus died...
Trembling slightly, she changed into Cerberus' specifically designed uniforms and simply took the elevator down to the medical bay. As she rounded the bend, she was surprised at the lack of crew members around the table. Shepard scowled, spearing the empty table with a glance of disappointment. With an all pro-human crew, it was hard to be the only one who cheered for the other species.
Stepping inside the medical wing, Shepard winced at the overabundance of lighting and the sweet tang of a sterile room. Dr. Chawkwas remained hunched over a table and a blue armored body. The doctor swiftly glanced over her shoulder before waving a hand in Shepard's direction.
"I don't need you here," she stated bluntly, lowering a piece of machinery that had been handing over her head. An odd buzzing noise followed and Shepard's shudder that accompanied it was completely involuntary. As soon as the machine touched the turian, his foot twitched but he made no complaint... if he was awake at all.
"How is he?" Shepard croaked and Chawkwas turned slowly to stare at her Commander.
"Out, Shepard. You will know as soon as I do."
The anger that slowly boiled over was to be expected, but Shepard wasn't expecting the intensity of her frustration. Slamming her hand against the wall, she growled. "You can't expect me to sit idly by! Not with Garrus like this."
Dr. Chawkwas studied the Commander over her shoulder before her jaw clenched behind the medical mask. "I'm not asking for your leave. I'm ordering it. Get out of my medical bay."
"Shepard..." His voice was heavy and thick with an unknown emotion, but his armored hand reached over and slowly pushed Chawkwas out of the way until their eyes met. His head hovered slightly over the cool metal table as he turned to look at her, the injured side already covered in creamed bandages, a starking contrast against his sooty grey plates.
"Garrus," Shepard responded, slowly approaching with one wary eye on Chawkwas' disapproving glare. When she was within his reach, his claw swiftly jerked out to grip her wrist with more strength than she thought he initially had. He pulled her to him, not fully dragging her, but she paused with each step until the table dug painfully into her hipbones.
The vigilante straightened, pushing himself away from the table with the use of his elbows and even without standing, he was slightly taller than her. His gaze held the fire from their earlier adventures with Saren, but his voice was as sincere as she had hoped.
"No need to worry. As you can see, I'm better already," he said with a careful tilt of his head. She was fully prepared to rebuke his statement when he leaned forward to press his forehead against hers. It was a completely relaxed gesture, his eyes flickering closed with a low rumble from his chest.
She was nearly giddy at the thought that his plating was warm where it touched her skin. He was warm...
"I will join you shortly. Go," He urged with a soft chuckle followed by a slight groan as he lowered himself back onto the table.
So Shepard departed and wandered up to the briefing room to wait. The room itself was private, but well within the range of rushing down one floor if any important news came from Chawkwas. As a precaution, EDI remained lit on her pedestal with her bright blue hues illuminating the room further.
Without much thought, Shepard pressed her hand where Garrus' forehead had touched hers with a fond smile. Even in medical danger, he was able to soothe the monsters that dwelled in her mind.
Jacob was the first to disrupt her little piece of Eden she had constructed for herself a while later. He studied her as swiftly as she gauged him before fully entering without much word. Shepard merely splayed her hands over the table and waited out for the horrible news.
"Commander, we've done what we've could for Garrus, but he took a bad hit," he said carefully, gauging the lack of response from his Commander. The doc's corrected with surgical procedures and some cybernetics. Best we can tell, he'll have full functionality but..."
The door hissed and Jacob straightened to blink at the intruder while Shepard simply turned her head out of curiosity. Her throat twisted as she considered the amount of different endings Jacob could finish with... but he won't be the same again...
Garrus slowly stepped into the threshold, his gaze fierce as he stared defiantly at Jacob's startled glare.
"Shepard."
At her name, a smile tickled the corner of her mouth as she studied him. He was scarred and it looked like his armor had gone through a shredder, but he radiated strength and pride.
Jacob was the first to adjust to Garrus' surprising arrival with a rough chuckle. "Tough son of a bitch. Didn't think he'd be up yet."
"Nobody would give me a mirror. How bad is it?" He demanded, charging down the ramp and into the room. Shepard's smile broadened at his teasing and she swiftly stepped into a similar role.
"Hell Garrus you were always ugly. Slap some face-paint on there and no one will even notice," Her answer was immediate and her military barrier lowered to reveal a part she always tried to hide.
Garrus' mandibles flared with laughter as he coughed out a rough chuckle. "Oh, ow, don't make me laugh. Dammit, my face is barely holding together as it is. Some women find facial scars attractive. Mind you, most of those women are krogan."
The Commander's gaze flickered as soon as she noticed Jacob's uncomfortable shift to her side and he saluted her before stiffly passing the turian by. She chose to ignore him for her close companion.
With Jacob gone, Garrus' sighed heavily as the air grew thicker. "Frankly, I'm more worried about you. Cerberus, Shepard? You remember those sick experiments they were doing?"
She didn't miss a beat, "That's why I'm glad you're here, Garrus. If I'm walking into hell, I want someone I can trust at my side."
"You realize this plan has me walking into hell, too." He chuckled again, a sound Shepard was beginning to enjoy more and more. "Just like old times. I'm fit for duty whenever you need me, Shepard. I'll settle in and see what I can do at the forward batteries."
He turned to leave and Shepard suddenly felt the the sink of her heart as she watched him go. Somehow she knew that Cerberus was going to make things rough and if they weren't, he was still going to be wary. This was the only moment for themselves, at least for the time being.
She charged after him, picking up to a jog just to catch him in that secluded hallway before running into Jacob's post. "Garrus," she called and he paused to turn just as she barreled into his side. The turian grunted, but wrapped his arms around her, either to keep them balanced or to respond to her embrace - and she was grateful for it.
"You wouldn't have lost me, Shepard," he insisted and her smile broadened against the odd shape of his armor as his hold tightened. "I signed a contract, remember?" Her laugh was muffled until she raised her head to expose her uncensored grin. "For a grin," he finished and his mandibles flickered with a soft smile of his own.