Arthur in Wonderland
A Crack!Hetalia Fic
Disclaimer: I do not own Hetalia or Alice in Wonderland.
Author's Note: Hey guys! I wrote this story over a year ago and just brought myself to upload it. I am not trying to copy anybody, this idea came to me as I was watching kids movies.
Arthur Kirkland was a young boy from a wealthy, English family. He was very different from the other boys. He claimed to have seen things, or magical creatures, no one else could, thus leading to nobody believing a word he said. It was as if he was the boy who cried wolf. Not even his parents believed a word he said, but he was okay with that.
One day, Arthur was playing with his magical friend, Uni the unicorn, when he encountered a flying Mint Bunny. He tried talking to it and the bunny was startled and flew away. He chased the bunny until he saw the magical creature jump down into a large, oversized hole in the ground. He looked around. It seems that he was chasing the bunny for so long, he had forgotten where he had strayed to. He then walked closer to the hole and looked down. Suddenly, the ground below him gave in and he fell, letting out a high-pitched shriek.
His mother heard it and shrugged it off, sipping her tea with a lifted pinky. "Captain Hook's probably getting frisky again…" She said, rolling her eyes while Arthur's younger brother, Peter, snickered and continued to play with his sailor suit. Arthur's father face-palmed and returned to reading his paper, wondering why Arthur had turned out the way he did. A twenty year old boy should have stopped talking about fairies and pixies twelve years ago.
Meanwhile, Arthur was screaming like a girl and fell head-first down a never ending rabbit hole. Strange objects were sticking out of the hole's walls and random pianos were flying towards him. He shielded his face as the piano hit him and he returned to screaming and flailing his arms around. Then, he crashed onto what seemed to be a chandelier. He looked up to see a rouge carpet. He gulped then fell down onto the carpet, landing on his rear.
He frantically looked around and stood up, dusting off his pa-wait. What was he wearing? His eyes widened and he shrieked again. He was wearing a…dress? It was toga-like, and very flouncy. He felt a breeze on his legs and shivered. The dress skirt reached up to the middle of his thigh. He whimpered and felt something tickle his back. He reached for his back and felt wings. He shrieked, AGAIN, and spun around, trying to see the wings attached to his back. His eyes were tearing and he felt his hair. He sighed in relief. At least his hair was the same.
He looked around for an exit and saw a note attached to a table that had appeared out of nowhere. He picked it up and read the fancy cursive. It said:
"If you wish to receive your dignity and return home, you must find the Unicorn Pendant and return it to me,
I'll be waiting,
Captain Hook."
Arthur flushed and looked for a door. He didn't see one. He yelped out when he felt something pinch his foot. He looked down to see a smaller version of the flying mint bunny. It was squeaking and frantically flying towards a small door at the bottom of the wall. He chased it and tried sticking his hand in the hole before the door was smashed closed. He pouted and turned around. A random note appeared out of nowhere, again. He read it.
"Eat the biscuit to become bigger
Drink the potion to become smaller."
He frowned and agreed to drink the potion. It tasted like a bitter, burning alcohol. He gagged on it and shrunk. He looked at himself and looked down to see his clothes hadn't shrunken with him. He squealed and covered his vital regions. He sighed thankfully for just a moment, for his wings had fallen off. He looked to the side and a maid's costume appeared. He frowned. He grabbed the outfit and put it on, distastefully. He couldn't take it anymore. He yelled out,
"WHAT THE HELL DO YOU WANT FROM ME, YOU KINKY BASTARD?"
He was pointing furiously at the ceiling when he heard a strange laugh.
"Ohhohohohohon~"
His face flushed and he turned around and frantically looked for the source of the noise.
"I am over here, mon cherie~"
Arthur nearly peed himself. He stared at the doorknob. Was it…talking to him?
"M-me…?"
The strange doorknob "nodded". It had stubble. Arthur stared.
"Ohohhon~ Are you trying to turn me on with that outfit? You naughty boy~"
Arthur felt himself blush furiously and he ran up to the doorknob and poked at its stubble. The doorknob giggled.
"U-um…Mr. Pervy Doorkn-"
"Call me, Francis."
Arthur frowned. He knew a Francis back from his home. He was six years older than him and always tried to get in his pants…! Were they somehow connected?
"Ok…Francis, can you open up please? I need to get in."
Francis smiled wide and said,
"You want to come inside me?"
Arthur nodded before he realized how perverted that sounded. He blushed and shook off the thought.
"Please, let me through!"
Arthur said with all of the courage he could muster, but he didn't have courage so it sounded like a pleading uke.
"Fine, but only if you promise to give me a kiss, mon cherie." The doorknob said, eyeballing Arthur in a weird way.
What the hell was up with this doorknob? And why was it French? He shrugged it off and pecked the weird doorknob on its "cheek". It was cold and hard. He frowned as the doorknob-Francis snickered and slowly opened up. Arthur walked through, not noticing the eyes following his rear-end.