Notes: I dun own Lord of the Rings or the characters. And I'm not mocking anyone, really! Don't set the Balrog on me!

Ah my little Gollum

What do you hold dear?

My precious, my precious,

I always keep it near

And you, dear Frodo Baggins,

What do you hold dear?

My life, sir, my life, sir

From which Uruk-Hai will shear!

Ahah, my dearest Gimli,

What is it you love?

My axe, man, my axe, man

And orc-heads I will cleave!

Tell me dearest Legolas,

What is it you love?

Lothlorien, Lothlorien

With Gladriel above!

Come here my little Samwise,

Tell me what you covet

A garden, a garden

And I'd really love it!

And you, Great Gandalf,

What is it you covet?

Just a nice big tankard,

And in my face I'd shove it!