Hi! This is my fix on this story. I felt it was too weak and decided to rewrite it. SO please enjoy this rewrite! The part with Ellieana's Parents fighting is what happened to my parents and my dad was in the military and left me when I was eight and only recently came back into my life. Any who, my rant is over so, enjoy this revision.
I woke up to the screaming, again, for the, oh I don't know, I lost count after the fifth or sixth time. I just had to ignore it, like always. I got ready, and walked out the door of my room. If my parents weren't fighting, they weren't even talking to each other, or my dad was gone, but that I was used to. This fight, however, was more eccentric then any of the others, and it seemed pretty heated. My mother saw me there and screeched "Say good-bye to your father, you are never going to see him again!" I stood there for a moment, digesting what she said, as the tears gathered, and I burst, running from the room. I went to my room, loaded a huge duffel bag full of clothes, money I had hidden, and left through my window. Montressor was such a big planet, and I'm sure that my parents wouldn't care that I left. I was gone, and no one was gonna stop me.
"Hey, sweetheart, are you lost?" a man asked. Oh, did I forget to mention that I am only eight. And the man was not really just a man, more like a man dog, a man's body with a muzzle, dog ears, and paws. He wasn't the strangest creature I've seen on Montressor, but he wasn't human like me, so he was still a little strange. I shook my head. He looked behind me and saw my bag, a sad look hidden in his eyes. "Are you ok?" His voice was filled with concern and his eyes, though covered with his glasses, were filled to the brim with love, even though a small, young girl like me, with shoulder length brown hair and grey eyes, was an unlovable. I took one look at him and shook my head no. He grabbed my hand and picked me up to my feet. "Well, I don't want you to freeze out here, so why don't you come with me." I was always told to not talk to anyone I didn't know, but my father was never there for me. So I went with what he did. "I'm Doctor Doppler." He said. I liked his name, it suited him and I said "I'm Ellieana." He smiled and walked me up a hill to a huge house. "Welcome home, Ellieana." I knew, that I would be here for a long, long time.
Ok so here is my revision. Is it better? And she might meet Jim in the next chapter. Review and tell me if you like Ellieana.