This was also a popular one of mine in regards to kudos & hits on ao3. So also putting it here.
He still didn't have the eyes. The red eyes indicating how one is connected to the dark side. Why didn't he have them?
Kylo looked away from the mirror, unable to stop the shaking, heart hammering. Hands going up to his temple to grab his head, Kylo fell to his knees in the corner of the room. Looking away from everything. He couldn't look at anything.
Then he screamed, uncontrollable, tears streaming. Why wasn't he a Sith?
Why wasn't he one with the dark side?
And he had even killed him. His father.
No.
It was Han Solo.
They meant nothing to him. Would mean nothing to him. Had always been nothing to him.
But he had killed him to show them just that. Yet something crawled inside him, a painful aching over it he couldn't endure. He didn't want it.
He stopped screaming, collapsing to the floor. Breathing hard, fast. Not slowing down.
Almost at once, from the Star Destroyers Bridge, did Hux feel something unusual. A feeling swarming at the back of his mind. Intense fear, anger, hatred...
Sadness.
But then he also knew – and didn't know how – it wasn't what he was feeling. It was Kylo.
"Sir?" the lieutenant he was talking to said when the General didn't reply to his question.
Hux, startled, looked back at the lieutenant, "yes, do that." Not sure what he had agreed too, but didn't care, striding out of the Bridge.
Something lead Hux to Kylo's quarters. The feelings became stronger as he got closer, and when he entered the room became engulfed by them. It was like a strange virus that tingled on his skin and singed his chest. A battle begging to lose.
Crumpled in the corner was Kylo. Hux stood at the doorway, getting used to the overwhelming feelings. Then, slow, walked over to Kylo.
Any other time he would have yelled at the Knight. Told him to not be weak, to not be a coward. Instead he crouched down, placing a hand on his back.
Kylo didn't moved, but his breathing slowed. "Go away." It sounded like he was crying, but trying his best to keep his voice steady. It didn't work.
Sitting on the floor, Hux took his hand away from Kylo's back, "I'm not going anywhere."
Kylo looked up now and with sickening fury, "I don't need you here to make fun of me. I know you hate me."
What Kylo felt, now took a backseat in Hux's mind. His own feelings related to the Knight filling his mind. Yes, there was hate, anger, aggression. But also everything one could call their opposites. He wasn't even sure where those feelings came from, but they felt... right.
Kylo's expression softened, a flash of surprise, "you don't hate me."
Hux kept his expression stoic, replying flatly, "not entirely."
No reply. Instead Kylo leaned against the wall.
Finally, he asked Hux, "What do you feel?"
Not wanting to get as sappy as Kylo seemed to be turning right now, he replied, "Your stupid feelings for some reason. Can't you stop and be happy for a moment?"
Kylo now had a small smile on his face, "The force- you're not a force sensitive. Strange." He stood up, using the wall as a crutch. Hux stood up as well, grabbing hold of his arm to help him, but Kylo shook it away. "We must consult Snoke."
"No," Hux said, fear rising, "If I am force sensitive-,"
"You're not," Kylo assured him, "although there are many possible reasons for why this happened. Perhaps it was me. I accidentally did it."
"You can do that? But why just to me?" Then something dawned on Hux, "you're not trying to tell me something are you?"
Kylo laughed, clutching his stomach as if for dramatic effect, "Don't be absurd, General."
But Hux tested it. Stepping closer to Kylo – although close already – putting his hand to his waist, sliding it around. Moving his face closer, their lips almost touching, "Prove it."
Kylo turned his head away, putting on his mask. He must have used the force to grab it. Then he said, voice filtered, "I'll see you later, General." He pulled away from his grip, walking out of his quarters. Leaving Hux standing there.
Hux looked as Kylo left. He sighed, crossing his arms, looking away from the door. Spotting Vader's mask close by he said, "Your grandsons an idiot."
And Hux could've sworn he heard a laugh.