Disclaimer: We do not own any of the Harry Potter works unfortunately. J.K. Rowling owns it all. We are just playing around with what we want it to be.

This story is for mature audiences only. It will become very graphic. Read at own risk. Welcome to our dark and perverted minds.

Chapter 1

Karaoke

Hermione Granger is completely unhappy with how the world's events were unfolding. To let off some steam, she decide this summer to have fun and her regular haunting place was a muggle Karaoke bar that is a few blocks down from her house. She walks in a mini leather skirt and a black tube top with black lace up boots. As she entered the door, she heard the worst singing she had ever heard. The male voice was trying to sing "I feel pretty" very unsuccessfully. As she looked on stage, she felt her jaw drop. In the place of a 50 year old drunk guy that she thought was singing, she saw Draco Malfoy. She starts laughing uncontrollably with tears running down her face. She looked around for his normal body guards, Crabbe and Goyle, but she didn't see them anywhere. She walked up to the stage still not able to control her laughing. As he stumbled off the stage she caught his arm. He yanked away only to fall into the wall. "Whatareyoudoinghere?" He asked slurring all of his words.

"Apparently I am here to take care of you. Smart ass. Where are your idiot buddies?"

"Crabbe and Goyle are unavoidably detained tonight with their parents. I don't need anyone to take care of me. I am a Malfoy; we can take care of our selves."

"Yeah I can see that" rolling her eyes as she says this," Your father would kill you if he found out you were in a muggle bar. There is no way you are going home like this tonight. You can stay with me till you feel better."

He walks up to the bar, totally ignoring her, and orders a beer. As to the fact that he was drunk he asked for a butterbeer. Hermione seeing this goes up and asks Sherri, the bartender, how many he has had.

"One too many I think. He keeps asking for a Butterbeer. What the hell is that?"

"Don't worry about it. It's a special drink that we only get at our boarding school. I will take him home with me tonight. If a man with long blonde hair walks in looking for him call me immediately. That means trouble. Stall him as long as you can."

"Ok, but I don't think that will be a problem. He keeps mumbling something about being disinherited. You should have seen him in here last night. He kept hitting on Charlie (the bouncer). I think that he has had a bad week."

"Are you serious? Oh man, he has more problems than I knew about. Thanks for the info. I will take care of him. I will see you next Friday."

The entire time they were talking, Draco had been trying to get to the man sitting down the bar from him. He fell to the ground and was just sitting there staring at the chair that he just fallen off of. Mumbling to him self How did that happen? That wasn't supposed to happen. I'm not drunk. He tries to stand up and ends up falling again Ok maybe I am drunk.

"Ok ferret, let's get you to my house." As she bends down to help him up off the ground.

"Mad-eye Moody had no right to do that!" He screams attracting attention of some of the patrons of the bar "I am a STUDENT there are rules against transfiguring students in animals. Well at lest it wasn't a hippogriff that would have been worse."

"Ok Malfoy you are really drunk you are talking nonsense now." Hermione turns to the patrons saying out loud "He reads way too much." Everyone that heard her laughed at turned to what they were doing.

"What do you mean Granger? YOU are the bookworm." He sneers

She whispers in his ear "Do you really want to do that? The ministry will be here in seconds if you keep doing that!"

"OH" He then passes out. Hermione sighs and calls for Charlie "Hey Charlie can you help me here with him. My car is right out front."

"Sure thing sweets" Charlie walks up and lifts Draco over his shoulder like he was a bag of potatoes. Hermione shows him to the car. She takes out her keys and starts to get in. As Charlie was getting Draco into the car he accidentally hits his head against the side of the car. Draco wakes up momentarily and groans. "Hey Charlie can you get me a plastic bag just is case. My interior is leather. I really don't want to clean up his puke."

"Yeah hold on I will be right back." Charlie says as he walks back into the bar for a second. Draco starts to come to and is moaning loudly

"Hey ferret, if you are going to heave lean out of the car. You will be the one cleaning it up with your tongue if you get it in my car."

"I'm NOT A FERRET, mudblood. Get your facts straight."

"You are to intoxicated to tell the difference right now. And if you call me a mudblood one more time I am not going to give you a hangover potion in the morning." She says as she hits him on the back of the head hard enough to get him crying.
"Damn it woman, you do that again you will be sorry"

"What will you do to me? You can't even see straight." He tries to lunge at her and ends up hitting his head yet again. By this time Charlie had returned.

"Are you sure you want to do this? I can find him a nice place downtown."

"I don't think he would survive a night in jail. He is too pretty. Besides he is in my dorm and I am in charge there. He won't do anything if he doesn't want the ENTIRE school to find out that he was here" she tells him making sure that it would sink into Draco's drunken mind. Nor does he want everyone to know that he was hitting on a guy anyway. She says in her mind. Before walking away Charlie says "If your sure sweets. Just be careful. Call me if he gives you any more trouble."

At eight o'clock next morning Hermione decided that Draco had slept enough. She was trying to determine if she should be civil or evil. She decided that the evil way was much more fun. Getting a copper pot and a wooden spoon from the kitchen, she made her way to the guest room where she had left him the night before. To wake him up softly she started banging on the pot singing "Wake up, Princess". He sat straight up in bed, and then regretted the sudden movement. With out saying a word he bolted to the nearest bathroom with his hand over his mouth. Well, my work is done here she thought to herself. She said out loud to him "Breakfast is ready downstairs when you are living again." Laughing hysterically she returned to the formal dinning room to wait on him. As he slowly made his way there, he knew that he was in for a long day.

"Do you have a hangover potion for me?" he asks as he sits down.

"No, but here is some aspirin and some coffee to wake you up. If you are good I will give you one after breakfast."

"Come on Hermione, I wasn't that bad last night. My head is killing me and I don't think that a muggle remedy is going to help me."

"Well, if you are good and civil for breakfast I will give you one." She says as the maid brings in the breakfast trays. "Thank you Marie. If we need anything else I will ring you. Oh could you go get the bathroom ready for Mr. Malfoy. He will be wanting to take a shower after breakfast."

"Very well Miss." Marie responds as she leaves.

"I didn't know that you were rich. This house is bigger than mine." Draco comments as he finally looks at his surroundings. He notices that there are lots of magical artifacts around the room. "What are those artifacts doing in a muggle household?"

"Much to my surprise, my father is a wizard. I didn't know this before I went to Hogwarts. You would be surprised to find out which family I am from." She responds tiredly.

"WHAT?!" he screams. He immediately regrets it and holds his head between his hands.

"Calm down. All you will do is make your headache worse. I will tell you if you tell me why you were disinherited."

"How did you know about that?"

"I have my ways." She waves her hand in the air to dismiss it.

"I will tell you if you promise that no one at school will find out. That's all I need is for your idiot boyfriend laughing at me."

"I don't tell everything to my "idiot" boyfriend as you call him. I do know how to keep a secret."
"I am gay. My father found out and kicked me out. I don't have any of my stuff for school. I don't know what I am going to do." He starts to cry not noticing that his headache was gone. Hermione had slipped the potion into his coffee.

"Oh is that all. I figured that out at the Yule ball 4th year. Why did your father get mad at you for that?"

"How did you figure it out?" Not answering her question.

"You were staring at my date's ass the entire time. I sort of guessed from that. Plus you seem to blush every time Harry catches you staring at him in potions."

"Does Harry know?" he asks worriedly.

"Not that he has told me." She responds as she shakes her head. "So you have a crush on my best friend?"
"He is cute." He responds not thinking. He begins to blush as she starts to giggle at him. "Is that why you called my princess this morning as you oh so gently woke me up?" He says sarcastically. She just nods her head as she continues to laugh.

"Yea I have a new girlfriend. Ginny will be so happy." Hermione says as she bounces in her seat clapping her hands like a little girl.

"Great. The know-it-all has a girly side. Now your turn. Which wizarding family are you from?"
"The Dumbledores." She responds as soon as he asks the question.

"That is why you are so smart…..Wait that makes the head master your…?"
"Grandfather."

"Bloody hell. No wonder you never get in trouble. Does anyone else know?"

"No just you. He and I decided that to keep from me being a bigger target in the war that no one should know. I was already a big target being Harry's best friend and known as the smartest witch to walk Hogwarts since Tom Riddle."

"That makes since. No wonder you tried to kill Snape when you found out the he had "killed" Dumbledore."
"That evil wanker. I hate him. I am just glad that it was all a ploy to make Harry feel stronger."

"Why didn't they tell you about the plan?"
"They didn't want anyone to find out. If Harry had found out then he wouldn't have had the courage to complete his destiny."

"Ummmm…Wait a second…Why is my hangover gone?"

"Aspirin works wonders."
"I took it yesterday and I didn't get over it that fast."

"Ummm…Fine I put a hangover potion in your coffee. I couldn't be that mean, but I wanted you to think that I could. It's time for you to go take a shower so we can go to Diagon Alley and get your stuff for the year."

"I don't have any money."
"Are you not looking around? I am meeting my grandfather at the Leaky Cauldron at noon. We can get you some cloths while we are there. Besides I need more potion ingredients anyway. You know that Dumbledore would love to see you."
"All right…but I am going to pay you back when I can. My mom is making sure that my father doesn't take me out of the will. He is still being hunted by the Aurors so I don't think that he will live out the summer."
"I thought that all Death eaters were given a pardon by the ministry?"

"They were, but my father continued to kill people after the war, so he is wanted."
"I am sorry that you have to deal with that."
"Don't worry about me. I can't wait for him to die. He is an evil wanker." He responds smiling at her for the slur. He gets up and goes to the take a shower.

After his shower he feels very refreshed. He goes to find Hermione. He sees Marie and asks where her Mistress could be found. "In the library, sir. It's just down that hall the first door on the left."

"Thank you. Could you bring us some tea please?"

"Yes, sir. Right away." She walks away. Draco goes to find Hermione. As he walks into the library, his jaw drops. Hermione is at the desk working on some sort of paper.

"This is bigger than Hogwarts and my library put together." He says scaring Hermione so bad that she jumps and all of her papers end up on the floor. He runs over to help her pick them up. He sees that the papers are on a new potion that she is inventing that makes people lie all the time instead of telling the truth.

"Why are you working on that sort of potion?"

"The Weasley twins asked for it. Besides I have decided that the sweet and innocent Hermione Granger is no more. The teachers are in for a treat this year."

"OK? So how big is this library?"

"Three stories high and it have its own wing. My ancestors have been working on it for the past six generations. ADD much."

"What?"

"Never mind. Muggle joke. We need to go meet my grandfather soon. We are going to apporate."

"Underage wizards/witches aren't allowed to."

"Having Dumbledore for a grandfather has its rewards. I got my license this past year. Plus I am a registered Animangus."

"What is your form?"

"White Siberian Tigress. Harry has one also. He is an African Lion. Ron is a huge black widow spider. Ginny has a form also but she won't tell me what it is."

Draco had stopped listing after he heard Harry's name. Then he thought about what she said and started to laugh hysterically. "You mean that mister arachnophobia is a spider in his Animangus form. That makes my day."

"Thanks please try to remember that you are talking about my boyfriend. What is yours?"

"I don't know. I wasn't allowed to find out by my father. He said that only good wizards are Animangi. He called me weak for wanting to find out."

"That's ridiculous. Well, we will work on it this summer."

"What do you mean "we"? I don't know where I am going to be all summer."

"I owled my dad this morning, he said that you can live here this summer with us. I had to ask him for permission to use my allowance for cloths anyway. He said that you were to be given the run of the place."

"You didn't have to do that. I could always go live with Snape. He is my godfather you know."
"Yeah but I feel lonely here. My father is gone most of the time and Ron has been banned since he rode his broom through the window last summer. Plus he feels uncomfortable around here. I think it has to do with the servants. He doesn't like the fact that I always have to buy everything for him. I don't think he feels very manly having his girlfriend buying all of our dinners out."

"He is a wuss any way. You deserve better."
"Who do you suggest? You princess?"

"That's not what I meant. I mean first you went out with that jock Viktor. Then you go for Ron. Your choices don't reflect your brains. You need someone just as intelligent as you are."

"If you find that guy tell me. I will gladly drop Ron for some intelligent conversations. Everything he talks about is Quidditch. I am so bloody tired of that sport."

"Hey you are taking to the captain of the Slytherin team. You know you could always date a professor like Snape." He said jokingly.

"Be careful or your precious Harry will find out that you like him."

"Ok Ok Ok. I surrender" He says putting his hands up in front of him.

She looks at the time. It was 11:50. She looks up sharply "Oh no we really have to go. Pi-Pa will be waiting for us."

"Pi-Pa?"

"Don't ask. He came up with it." She says as she grabs his arm and they apporate to the Leaky Cauldron.

This is the end of chapter one. We hope you like it. Please tell us your comments.

Signing out Kay and Tig