It was a sad and emotional day for me John Dorian. This is the day on the way to his funeral. My ex wife Elliot is going to be there too which for me will be painful since she has a new guy in her life right now. It is hard to cope with that. My kids Sam and Sarah ignore me because I was the one who ended it with their mother which made our family picture fall apart and now they hate me for it. Yeah it is a mess at the moment I know. I was driving the car with Turk who became my roommate for the time being after Carla told him she wanted a divorce. Turk been having a tough time with that so on the way to Perry's funeral with Turk's first daughter sitting in the back of my car I decided to try cheering him up, "Hey Chocolate Bear you want to stop for food on the way to well I will say home but there is nothing much there for me anymore."

"I feel man. I thought I was Carla's dream. She told me each and every-"

I stopped him by putting a hand on his shoulder, "I don't think you should talk about this while your daughter is in the car?"

Turk looks at Izzy in the mirror, "She has headphones on."

I look at Izzy to she seemed like she heard because she seemed to gone from happy a few minutes to upset eyes and looks at Turk rolling her eyes, "So?" I asked Turk trying to get an answer.

"What?" Turk wondered confused.

"I asked you if you wanted to grab a bit to eat?"

"Oh," Turk thought about this. He looks over at Izzy, "Izzy are you hungry at all?" Izzy did not hear him since she got headphones in her ears. Turk taps her leg to her attention.

Izzy takes out her headphones, "What dad?"

"Are you hungry at all?" Turk tried to ask her again.

Izzy sighs, "I am ok right now," she puts her headphones back in. Turk looks at me and shrugs, "What is up with her?" he wondered.

"You are not the only one that is dealing with the divorce," JD says quietly so Izzy could not hear him but her eyes look over at me in the mirror with sad eyes looking back over at the window. I Curse to myself.

I parked in the parking lot of the funeral. If Perry had a say he would not want me to be here in that harsh tone that he is infamous for using since I first knew him. I know deep down he wanted me to come. I also want to be there for Jordan and her children who must be going through a hard time at this point. I did guess a long time ago what will kill Perry and it was in my youth year I thought of alcohol poisoning which is what Per died from years later. I saw him last on his son's birthday he never would have asked me to come but jordan told me that deep down he misses me and that it will be good for him to see me that was 6 months ago. Before that it was 2 years since we seen eachother. I had other things going on back then. Raising a family and work. I was not fond of his son though. His daughter Jen was better mannered and less bratty.

We made it to the front door of the church. Inside it felt depressing and I saddened when I saw Perry's casket. I look around. Elliot and her new guy were there she turned around looking at me. I smile at her she smiles. Our kids were sitting next to her. My son Sam looks over at me while playing with his DS and without saying anything looks right back down at his game. Sarah looks over with a small smile looking back at the front. I walk over to Jordan and her kids. Jen looks over, "Hey Dorian," Perry had told her to call me by my last name or newbie. Least something was not lost. Jack looks over with a nod looking over his mother, "You invited dorko?" he whispered loud enough so I could hear.

Jordan looks over at Jack, "Of course why wouldn't I?" Jack looks over at me with a smirk deep down I know he is happy to see me. He does have a bit of his father personality. The way he crosses his arms over his chest. Touching his nose when he is upset or confused. I sat next to Jordan who looks over me giving my hand a squeeze, "Hey," I said.

"Hello sweetie," she says back. She has been kinder towards me over the years not like before where she was a right out bitch. The kids made her softer just like with Perry. Turk sat next to me waving at Jordan. Jordan smiles back then looks over to the front.

The ceremony was about to begin. I look over at the casket. I had a flash back from the time me and Per first met. It was like a small video playing in my head. The first time I started at sacred heart I was so nervous and could not put a IV in the arm Per was there and helped me through it. The first time I went to his place and he his slammed door knocking into my knee. I smile sadly. Jordan notices me tearing up a bit and squeezes my hand. I look over at her. She and I had a ok friendship. Per's sister was there across from us. I smiled at her she smiles back. I look back over at the front. The priest steps up to the stand and starts talking about Per. Jordan who I never seen emotions on her face since how tough she was let a tear slide as the priest talked about her husband. Yes they decided to get married again 5 years ago. I put a hand on her shoulder and whispered in her ear, "It is ok to show your emotions at a time like this I know you trying to be strong but I know deep down you want to show them," I rub her shoulders as she looks over with a sad smile. I rub Jordan's shoulder.

I wanted to give a speach. It is the least I can do for Per. The Priest let me go over to the stand as I took out a piece of paper that I wrote on lastnight before bed.

I look over at the casket as sadness filled my eyes, "I will say this first. If Per had a say he would of told me that I could not come to his funeral I mean he did tell me awhile back that with his rants that I am not allowed to attend," people were laughing agreeing with me, "but deep down I know that it is not true. It was just his way of showing humor," I look over at the casket. The lid was open so I could see Per's face. His eyes were closed. I could pretend he was sleeping but it is hard to pretend when he is in a coffin. I look back over at the crowd. Tears shone in my eyes, "I know one thing about Per at the moment is if he had a say he would tell Jordan that he hates the coffin that she picked out for him," Jordan and a few others laugh at that. There was a picture beside the coffin. It was the same picture when he was at Per and Jordan's house when I was dating Jordan's sister and Per without knocking comes into the room and I was exposed infront of him so I quickly took a picture frame and hid my junk. I remember Per yelling at me on what he is doing with his son. I took another frame instead and was the picture that I see now. I look back to the paper, "Per there is so many things I wanted to say to you. How much of a jerk he was and in the end we develop a friendship that would of lasted a life time," people smiled with tears in their eyes, "I know he would not a admit that but it was who he was. He kepts things that others could not see deep down and out came rants and harsh words. I know deep down he never meant to hurt the ones he was close too. He would of at times apologize in a weird way of his," I look over at Elliot and her new guy who smiled at me, nodding to go on. Look back down, "I know he would not admit this but I knew that Per loved his sister Paige," I look over at his sister, "if he could he would of turned the time and start new with you. I know this because which surprised me he gave me a journal that used to write things. You understand how my face was like when he handed it to me," people smiled sadly. I look over to Carla, "Carla from the time I knew Per till the end I know that you were his closet friend and he cherished his friendship with you," I look over at Jordan and his kids, "he loved his family more then words can say," I saw Jack look down at the ground. Jordan noticed and put a hand on him. I look over at Turk next to her, "Turk and Elliot I know even though he would not admit that he did care for you both alot in his own weird of showing it," I went on with the letter till I was nearing the end, "Perry Cox you will be missed by all of us. Hopefully you will be with the magical unicorns that you told me were a dump thing to think about and you called me a girl for those kind of thoughts. In the end I overheard him say how much I mean to him and I got my hug which I truly wanted. As I reach the end of this letter. I will say this that he loved football for sports and he even though he has a hard time admitting this that he loved being a doctor."

The coffin was loaded in the ground people took turns shoving dirt on of the coffin for respect. I was the last one to put dirt on the wood.

At Jordan's house held the funeral ceremony. I was sitting with Turk and his three kids who sat next to him. He got two beautiful girls and one boy. His first daughter was 16. The second daughter was 15 and the son 13. I look over at my own kids who were with Elliot. They did not even come over to see me. They were still probably angry with me. I could not blame them though. Carla came over to me, "Hey Bambi," she says, "Carla," I said hugging her tightly.

"It is good seeing you," I said with a smile.

"You too," she smiles looking over at Turk who looked away from her, "I am going to get some punch," Carla says walking away.

I turn to Turk who was starring outside at the deck. I sat back down putting a hand on his shoulder, "It will be ok Chocolate Bear it will just take sometime," he looks down at the floor nodding.

Enough is enough I walk over to my kids and Elliot and his new guy Jeff, "Hey JD," Elliot says not expecting me to come over. She has probably forgotten I am the father. I look over at my kids, "Hey you two," I smile. Sam and Sarah look over. Sam was 15 and Sarah was 14, "listen after the funeral lets get some ice cream together?"

"Don't you think we are a little old for that?" Sam says.

"Come on Sam you like ice cream I even know your favorite flavor strawberry."

"Thanks dad maybe another time though," Sam walks away from me and over to the buffet that was provided.

I look over at Sarah, "Sarah would you want too?"

Sarah looks at me, "I am still mad at you what you have done to mom," she walks away going outside sitting on the steps. I sigh least i tried.

Elliot looks over at me, "They will come around," she says, "eventually," she squeezes my shoulder. I look over at Jeff who was busy talking to Carla then over at Elliot nodding with a smile. I walk away. I walk by the kitchen and heard a voice who was Jack's who was talking among his friends, "If you ask me he is better off dead," I heard Jack say. I look in the kitchen he was laughing with his friends. I look over at Jen who was sitting on the steps, "It she hear this too?" Jen gets up from the stairs and outside on the deck sitting on a chair. Guess she did. I look over at Jack walking up to him, "I can not believe what I am hearing."

Jack looks over, "Be quiet it," he looks over at his friends who were who were hiding their laughs. I grabbed Jack by the shirt and dragged him away from his friends. The whole time Jack was complaining and tried to get my hand off of him he surrendered after awhile. I dragged him upstairs. And flung him on his bed. "Jeeze man what is your problem!" Jack shouts at me.

I look over at him. He tried running for the door and I stopped him, "I do not believe you would say something like that about your father!" I shouted, "you know when I was his student I would of gave anything to have him treat me like a son!"

"What you know hot head?" Jack asked.

I flung him back on his bed, "You have no right to say that about your father!"

"I can say what ever I want! It is a free country!"

"That does not make it right though and you know it!" I was so angry with him that I wanted to slap him in the face which I think he deserves quite frankly. If Per was still alive he would of not wanted to be derespected like that, "And what you mean I know? I know alot of things about your father!"

"Yeah well I said what I said he is better off dead," Jack hissed. I gapped at him and grabbed his collar, "Ow you are hurting me!"

"I think you should give your father more respect! How dare you say he is better off dead! You know what he would of done if you said that too his face!"

"Drink?" Jack says plainly.

"He would of not needed that bull shit! And I have a feeling you said these things when he was still alive! You do not know how lucky you are that you had him as your father!"

"Oh so I should be grateful that he had been drinking most of my live?"

"That is not what I mean."

"Then I do not know what you mean then? I am lucky to have a drunken dad?"

"Yes you are lucky to have him as your father," I let go of his collar.

"What ever I am going back downstairs. My friends are probably waiting for me that you took me away from," he tries standing up. I pushed him back down on the bed.

"Now you listen to me."

"About what?" he asks trying to pretend to look confused.

"You know exactly what. I know you do not mean that about your father knowing Per you probably develop some of his personality. He would of said those things to."

"What you know about my father! I know that most of my life he was a acholic he kept drinking even though we begged him to stop! Do not tell me that I did not mean it when you do not know how I feel!" Jack sighs with his hands on his face.

I sigh and sat on the bed side beside him.

"I did not mean to say the way you thought it was I," he looks up at me, "you have no idea how disappointed I was at him for letting us down. It killed me inside each and everyday. I thought he was a role model but I was wrong I never want to even try to be like him. So do not say I have his personality."

I sigh, "He was my role model for as long as I remember. He made the man I am today."

Jack snorts, "Your making it up."

"No I am not," I said, "he was my teacher. I am a doctor because he made me to be. Jack your father even though he was drinking during your teen years you have to know he loved you very much. If you want I can give you his journal that he gave me? He probably wanted you to have it anyways."

Jack looks up at me, "Why on earth I want his journal?"

"He was your father Jack. I know deep down you are sad of his passing."

Jack looks down at his floor, "Can I go now?"

"No you listen to what I have to say," I told him, "your father even though he was a big jerk to me helped me through so many roads. I know he would never admit this and he told me he never was but he was my mentor. He is someone I always looked up too. Someone I can count on when things get rough. He was there for me for the bad times and good times. I was there for him as well. Jack your father was the best doctor I ever knew," I put a hand on Jack's shoulder as he looks into my eyes, "he taught me so much. And when I screwed up he yelled at me with rants-"

"And why you telling me this?"

"Because I know that he wanted you to hear this. He wrote it in the journal. He yells at me with rants but that is only because he knows I can do better and pushed me to do better. At times yes his rants and harsh words were hurtful. He was there though when my father died helping me out through that hard time and my brother by watching football with us-"

"You call that comfort?" Jack asked.

"He was the type of guy that showed his affectionate differently. To you when you were sad or afraid when you were little he would tell you stories to make you feel better. With me well a few times he bought me coffee. As a doctor you see your share of many deaths and without someone being there to help you and have your back when things get rough you would go insane and maybe even jump off a roof. I can not blame with Per's anger and drinking he had a hard childhood past. I am not sure if he told you?" Jack shook his head looking at the floor, "his father was abusive to him and his mother just stood there watching not laying a finger to help him and but she did protect his sister which is why his sister and him never really got along since Per found it unfair that their mother only to protect Paige and let his father beat him. And yet with all that happened having that terrible rough past he turned out as a person who wanted to help people. That is one of the reasons why he became a doctor and a teacher. Me and Carla and your mom have seen his softer side many times and I know the whole tough guy thing was a way to hid his emotions and feeling it was the way he was with those things but years while he was teaching me we developed a really good friendship even though he would never admit that to anyone it showed. He taught me to be a good doctor and I taught him to be more open with his emotions. I also taught him to be less rude to his patients and more understanding now that was a big effort though. Many times he told me I was a idiot and called me a girls name. The girls names were a way of getting me to be more tougher though he stopped calling me girls names and referred to me as Newbie that was nickname he gave me. The idiot part they way he showed humor toward me." Jack nods looking at me. "You are lucky that you had a father like him. You really are."

Hopefully Jack would understand in that thick headed skull of what DJ is trying to say to him. Mean while will JD's kids ever forgive him for splitting the family up?