It's my first Go-Onger fic! I don't usually do humor fics, but this idea kind of popped into my head. I hope it's decent~
Heeeeeeeey! Didn't we die?"
"We did. Er... I think we did?"
"Then why can't you give this a rest? We saved the world just yesterday!"
"Well, actually..."
Goes Without Saying
Bright sunlight, clean spring air. It was the perfect morning, the type that reminded Saki she had a lot to smile about.
And smile she did as she hopped out of Ginjiro, stretching her arms up towards the sky. But her arms quickly fell to her side when she caught something out of the corner of her eye. Was that Sosuke? Reading? Go-On Red, well... never read. Knowing the guy, Saki had even questioned if he could but sure enough, he was sitting at one of the team's foldable tables and hunched over what looked like the morning paper.
She watched curiously as Sosuke flipped his lucky coin, and made a few marks on the page. After a few moments, she finally sat down beside the spiky-haired man. "What're you doing?"
He lowered the paper, winking and pointing exaggeratedly in that way that made Saki doubt his grey matter in the first place. Oh well. "Now that we're normal citizens again, I've got to find an apartment at mach speed!"
The girl nodded, and her smile faded. He had a point. They couldn't live in a bus forever... She really hadn't thought about post Go-Onger life much yet. In fact, it seemed like only yesterday that she'd met Bearrv and-
CRASH!
Saki shook her head, turning towards Ginjiro, where the sound had come from. Broken glass? No, it was much bigger that that, as if a Bankijyu had appeared or something...
"They're at it again." She and Sosuke turned to see Renn, balancing a pair of trays with the morning's meal. It was the usual; omelettes, buttered toast and jam, and some fresh sliced fruit. Sosuke put down his paper and grabbed his portion, while Saki leaned back in her chair and moaned.
"This early?" she asked.
Renn sighed, setting the rest of the dishes on the table and calling towards Ginjiro. "Gunpei! Hant! Can't you wait until after breakfast to continue with that?"
There was another large crash before the bus went silent. Renn worriedly looked towards the vehicle, and took a place at the table. The other two tried to get on with their meal, Sosuke cramming his mouth full of egg and Saki nibbling at her toast. The three ate in silence until Ginjiro's door flew open and unintelligible crying filled the air.
"-ohgawdpleasesavemehetiedmeup-"
"Sorry Renn, we're going to have to skip breakfast. We have an appointment today."
The three looked up to see an interesting sight. Gunpei was dressed in a very smart two piece suit, quite different from the racing jacket and slacks the group was used to seeing him in. But even more curious was that he was nonchalantly restraining a shiny green thing in his clutches... under closer inspection the three were eventually able to make out that it was Hant in a shimmering jade dress.
Sosuke, Saki, and Renn were surprised for about three seconds, but then they remembered that it was far from the first time they saw the youngest member of the team in female attire.
"-imsoscaredidunnowhathesgunna-"
Go-On Black cleared his throat, and spoke over the young man in his grasp. "In light of recent events - namely, that one when we were nearly erased from existence - Father's demands have become more urgent. Something about me 'always putting myself in danger when I'm still obligated to propagate for the Ishihara household...'"
For a moment, Hant stopped struggling, hanging in the taller man's grip with a confused look in his eyes. "What does that mean?"
He, as well as Sosuke and Saki, looked to Renn. The latter took his cue. "Just!Propagation in humans is the result of a gestation spurred by the successful formation of a zygote through sexual intercourse..."
"What?WHAT?"
Sosuke watched as Hant started flailing again, and Gunpei calmly continued restraining the boy as best he could. Then he nudged Saki, for the first time looking genuinely interested in the situation. "Hey, he just means to use Hant as a decoy, right?" He took another bite of his omelette before he leaned over again. "And, if I'm not mistaken, the last time I checked a guy couldn't get another guy-"
"GUNPEI!" Saki jumped to her feet, and slammed her fists against the table. "You just need a girl to show up to convince your dad about the marriage thing, right?"
He nodded.
"Look at me!"
Obediently, the man narrowed his eyes at her.
Then he cocked his head to the side and stared some more.
Quite a bit of time passed, but Saki felt her breath catch when she noticed the look of realization finally cross the former cop's features. Then he opened his mouth.
"You've got jam on your face."
Renn offered Saki a napkin. She pouted.
SWOOSH!
Suddenly, a pair of figures fell out of the sky and stole everyone's attention. No, they didn't fall, they flew- triple aerial somersaults in complete unison, followed up with poses worthy of Olympic gold. Colored flames shot out from the background. It was beautiful. Angels cried. Hant was crying too, but for a different reason.
It was none other than Hiroto and Miu, the Go-On Wings.
"Y'know, you guys don't have to do that anymore," Sosuke grumbled and turned his attention back to his meal.
"-hirotomiupleaseyougottasaveme-"
The two went at ease, noticing that Renn and Saki were making some ridiculous gestures to the side. They slowly looked over to see that Hant was in a dress, and it looked like Gunpei was trying to kill him. The siblings were surprised for about three seconds, but then they remembered that it wasn't the first time they'd seen something like this happening.
Hiroto and Miu looked to each other, doing what the others presumed was that twin-psychic-link thing.
"Ani..."
"Got it."
The elder Sutou folded his arms and moved toward the wayward pair, looking over all the Go-Ongers as he slowly began to speak. "Really...? This is pretty obvious, but if no one else is going to..."
He stopped about a foot in front of the Gunpei, with a glance that could cut through solid rock. Hant's squirming slowed as he looked to the Wing pleadingly... everyone around was holding their breaths. Hiroto was awesome... and like a genius or something. He'd be able to talk some sense into Gunpei.
Hiroto nodded reassuringly Go-On Green before he raised his gaze to meet Gunpei's once again. Then he spoke, his voice low and dripping with venom.
"You're an idiot if you plan on taking him anywhere in those shoes!"
Silence.
Well, except for the sound of Sosuke falling out of his chair.
Even Hant was speechless and limp in Gunpei's grasp, as his captor looked from the man in front of him to the nude-colored pumps he'd crammed the boy's feet into.
"They're not that bad, are they?"
"Just look at them!"
Even from his place on the ground, Sosuke craned his head to catch a peek at the pumps in question, and he unconsciously started nodding. Saki kicked him under the table, and he whimpered.
Miu ran up to join her brother, looking over Hant before she piped in. "We're about the same height, Ani. I'm sure I can lend him something!"
"Really?" For the first time that morning, Gunpei was smiling. He chuckled as he looked down to his captive. "C'mon, let's go get some shoes!"
Then he tossed Hant over his shoulder. Still completely restrained, Go-On Green called out to his breakfasting companions. "Whaaaaaa... I don't want shoes! I don't wanna propagate! Someone! Anyone-"
"Have a nice day, guys!" Renn smiled warmly as he waved towards the group.
He got an emphatic wave from Miu, as well as another nod from Gunpei and a crooked smirk from Hiroto before they turned towards town. Saki managed to catch Hant's desperate eyes and mouthed a "smile, smile!". He mouthed back, but it wasn't something that she was comfortable with repeating out loud.
At about that time, Sosuke was finally climbing back into his chair.
Go-On Yellow stared forlornly at her plate as she mumbled. "I'm cute, right?" Saki rapped on the table to get her companions' attention. "Look at me, Sosuke! I'm an adorable girl!Why couldn't Gunpei ask me? Huh, Renn? I'm worth introducing to your parents... right?"
Sosuke reached across the table and brushed a hand over Saki's cheek, then held up a palm smeared with sticky red goo. "You might be, after you learn to feed yourself."
"I'm sure there's a bib in Ginjiro - remember that alien baby thing?" Renn grinned as he came to a stand.
Tears formed in the corners of the girl's eyes before she jumped up again, pushed Renn out of the way, and locked herself in the RV. Go-On Red cackled as he wiped his hands and took up his paper. Looking over the next column of ads, he tried his very best to ignore the sniveling coming from the vehicle and a familiar wailing from somewhere off in the distance.