A/N: Written for the Fanfiction Idol competition created by CierraLuv97. So I was extremely excited to work on this yet I didn't start until yesterday. Tis' a true procrastinator I am. So I hope you all (whoever is reading this tiny piece of work) enjoy this and have a happy day. :) Be sure to leave a review with any constructive criticism or praise !
Disclaimer: Harry Potter is not mine... at least not yet.
My prompt for this was:
Don't be ashamed to cry
Let me see you through
Because I've seen the dark side too
I just had to use it in the story because the plot-bunnies made me. If anyone has any qualms I will direct you to their location. :)
Once again, thank you!
ALSO
Thanks to Fluehatraya for correcting me about Shakespeare and how he used Modern English and not Old English. :)
It was cold.
A cold day for someone to be sitting at the edge of the Astronomy tower with their feet dangling over the edge.
It was too cold a day for someone to be out there without a robe or mittens.
Yet there he hung.
Harry's hands gripped the rail so tightly his knuckles were white. There was just nothing he could do to stop feeling so frustrated and hurt and confused. It was eating him up from the inside, all of it. He had no idea whether Voldemort was plunging around his head,his best friends had kept secrets from him and now that he was back at school a horrible lady was doing her best to make his life miserable.
Conflicted. That's how he felt. What was he doing here at Hogwarts? He obviously had some dark power within him and that was why all these bad things were happening to him. If he left the school he'd be helping everybody here. But he couldn't possibly leave Hogwarts; it was his home. Harry's jaw clenched tightly and he could feel his teeth grating.
He knew that he shouldn't be getting caught up with these things as they obviously were out of his control. But that was exactly the problem. There was nothing he could do to stop or to solve these things.
He was powerless.
So if he couldn't stop these feelings he'd suppress them.
Harry took a deep breath of the cold winter and welcomed the biting air into the back of his throat.
He'd numb them.
Through his misty glasses he saw flecks of snow fall through the sky. Soon they started falling on his face, leaving small tracks of water as they melting upon contact.
He'd numb everything.
Soon Harry couldn't tell whether it was the snow or his tears that were making his face so wet.
"Harry?"
Immediately Harry brushed his arm across his face. This accomplished next to nothing as he was wearing glasses but he hoped that the mist on them would prevent whoever was behind him to see the tear tracks.
"Harry?" The person called again, this time closer.
Harry swung his legs around the rails and dropped down onto the floor.
"Yeah?" He asked into the darkness, putting one hand in his pocket to finger his wand.
From the darkness stumbled a ginger, a small candle flickering in his hand.
"Ron?" Harry asked, "What are you doing here?"
Ron sheepishly rubbed the back of his head with his free hand, "Well, I woke up to get some water and noticed you were gone." His tone changed from sheepish to annoyed, "And I searched the entire school for you!"
He paused at Harry's unbelieving look then amended his statement, "Alright, not the entire school but you know how the Charms Corridor scares me. Even in the day... all those flying cushions." He suppressed a shudder as he walked closer to Harry.
"So what are you doing here?" Ron peaked over the edge of the Astronomy Tower before pulling himself back abruptly.
"It's bloody cold out there."
He turned to Harry and looked at his moist hair and wet glasses.
"You were sitting out there this whole time without a cloak?" Ron asked and didn't bother to wait for the answer before whistling, "I hope you like Pepper-Up Potion mate because that's all you're going to be drinking tomorrow."
Harry chuckled half-heartedly but the smile on his face dropped quickly.
Ron noticed this and furrowed his eyebrows, "What's wrong Harry?"
"Hmm?" Harry turned to Ron before going over to the corner to get his Invisibility Cloak, "Nothing."
Ron continued looking at him inquisitively, "Are you sure about that? You seem kind of off."
Harry let out a sigh, Ron wasn't the best at comforting, or really dealing with anything that required feelings. And even though Ron was his friend Harry honestly wasn't sure whether Ron would understand him or just look at him like he was a freak, like how most other people looked at him.
"It's nothing," Harry mumbled.
Ron rolled his eyes, "You're mumbling Harry and your face looks like you've eaten a particularly nasty flavour of Every Flavoured Beans. Just tell me what's going on."
The intense look in Ron's eyes was hard to ignore but Harry still wasn't fully convinced that Ron would accept him. Even after the five years he had known him there was still a gnawing ache at the back of his head that told him that the five years wouldn't matter when Harry told him how he felt and that Ron would leave him.
Leave him to be alone.
Ron saw the contemplative look on his friends face and knew that he was going to reject the fact that anything was wrong once again. Before Harry could repeat his lie Ron said in a loud and stage-like voice, "Don't be ashamed to cry, let me see you through, because I've seen the dark side too!"
At the horribly sung lyrics Harry had to laugh, "What's that?"
"It's Shakespeare," Ron answered smugly, "In one of his plays, I think, Taming of the Rat, or Hamwich, something of that sort."
"I don't think so," Harry answered, wondering how Ron got Hamlet and Ham Pie mixed up.
Ron frowned, "I'm pretty sure it's Shakespeare mate."
"Yeah but I'm pretty sure that Shakespeare didn't write anything called Taming of the Rat."
Ron walked over to his friend and shook him with one hand, "You're getting off topic. What's going on with you?"
Harry's smile vanished once again, "It's n –"
"If you say it's nothing then I'm going to hex you into next week."
Harry let out a sigh and looked at Ron's adamant face.
"Alright, fine." Harry said in defeat before dropping to the floor and taking up a cross-legged position there.
Ron nodded slightly and joined Harry on the floor. He placed the candle between them and looked up at his friends face.
It seemed as if he had aged years within seconds.
"Since this year started," said Harry, "I've just felt something in my mind and I know, I just know that it's Voldemort. Somehow he's gotten into my head and now I can see him doing things and I can feel what he's feeling and I can hear him telling people things."
Ron just looked at him.
"It's been worrying me, what if that means that I'm a bad person or something. Maybe I've always been evil and no one knows it. Maybe I'm supposed to be killed, maybe there's a reason why Voldemort decided to kill me when I was a baby."
Ron knew that tone Harry was using. He was feeling desperate. Harry was beyond self-reasoning and Ron knew that Harry truly felt as if he was something bad. He also knew that Harry was wrong.
"Harry, stop." Having Ron say his name made Harry stop rambling and look up at his freckled face.
"You have to understand something Harry." Ron's face was serious, "You are not bad and you are not evil. You've saved so many people and you got rid of the darkest wizard around for 11 years."
"And," He snapped as Harry's mouth opened, "Don't go on about how that wasn't you and how you did it with help and all that."
"But people did help Ron," Harry insisted, "And now this year everybody thinks that I'm mad. No one believes that Voldemort is back."
"I believe you," said Ron.
Harry hung his head and nodded, "I know, I know, it's just that it's getting so hard to handle all the stares and taunts and especially with Umbridge, I know she's just a fat cow but she's helping turn the entire world against me."
"If I don't have people to back me up then it's over Ron."
Ron watched as his friend squeezed his eyes shut.
"I'm on my own. And I'm going to die on my own."
As soon as those words left his lips Ron leaned forward to grab Harry's shoulders. His movement was enough for the candle between them to teeter and fall onto the stone ground.
They were plunged into darkness.
"Harry, how could you possibly think that you're alone?" Ron asked, his voice louder than it had been this night.
Harry opened his eyes to look at Ron and through the dim moonlight Ron saw tears streak down his face.
When he still didn't answer Ron shook him slightly, "Listen Harry, I know how you feel." Then he sighed, "Well not really but I do."
He pulled his hands from Harry's shoulders and went back to his original position, "Last year that was how I felt Harry, I felt alone."
Ron's eyes wandered around the chilly floor as he spoke, "You had gotten into the tournament and before that I thought that whatever we did we'd do it together. But when you got in I felt like you had deserted me."
"But I didn't put my name there Ron, there's no way I would've been able to do that." Harry's voice was thick.
"I know that now," said Ron, "But I spent a lot of the year wondering why I'd been deserted."
He looked back at Harry, "Don't act like the stupid arse I was acting like. You have people who are there for you, me, Hermione. Hell, you have Dumbledore! You have Sirius and Lupin and my mom and dad. Harry you are anything but alone."
Harry didn't answer but Ron saw that he had stopped crying.
Harry hadn't answered because he didn't know what to say to that. It was true that there were so many people there for him. However, his initial worry was that they would all turn away from him when he told them about Voldemort or his anger or anything.
But today Ron hadn't run away, he hadn't turned his back on Harry.
Harry knew that all he needed was Ron to get through this.
"Alright mate," said Ron, his voice breaking through Harry's reverie, "Let's get back to the Common Room, I'm asking Hermione about that Shakespeare thing."
Harry allowed Ron to cover them both with the Invisibility Cloak and lead the way back to the Common Room where Hermione was sitting on a plush red couch.
"Where have you two been?" She asked anxiously when the portrait door swung open to reveal them.
Ron turned to Harry before answering with a smile, "Just admiring the stars."
"In this weather all you're going to be admiring is a cold," Hermione muttered before turning back to her book.
Ron frowned and started walking towards the Boy's Dormitory when Harry nudged him and whispered, "Shakespeare."
"Oh right," Ron's eyes lit up and he went back around to sit beside Hermione.
"Oi Hermione?" Ron said slowly, "I have a question."
Her eyes didn't move from the page, "That's terrific Ronald."
Ron knew that that was his cue to ask the question, "Did Shakespeare write this:" He cleared his throat and recited the lines, "Don't be ashamed to cry, let me see you through, because I've seen the dark side too!"
Halfway through his recitation Hermione turned to him with a confused look on his face, "Of course that isn't Shakespeare," She said in a matter-of-fact tone, "It's hardly written in prose or iambic pentameter."
Ron's face fell, "Oh, I see."
From Ron's right Harry punched him lightly on the shoulder, "I told you it wasn't Shakespeare."
Ron turned to Harry and gave him a half smile.
"If you want Shakespeare," Hermione said, her hand already digging through her book-bag, "Then there are a few books with some extraordinary excerpts," She pulled a large thick book out, "Like this one."
"As you can see the text here is in Modern English, but it still may be difficult for you, but there are notes in the margins on different terms and..."
Hermione continued talking but the boys had tuned her out, both were instead grinning at each other.
It was moments like these that Harry cherished the most. Ones where he could just be himself and nothing was expected of him. Moments where he knew that he had people to count on.
Moments when he had Ron and Hermione with him.
The night didn't feel so cold anymore.
