Prologue:
I've always been a good daughter, a good sister, a good example of what a Black woman should be. But if you lined the entire Black family up, you might notice that I just don't seem to belong. Whereas all of my relatives possess black hair and black eyes, I myself have pale hair and paler eyes. Whereas my sisters are tall, robust, dark-haired, dark-eyed, and strong-jawed, I myself am petite, skinny, blonde, light-eyed, and my jaw is as soft as my disposition. I am not ashamed to admit that I don't fit in, it's something I've had years and years to deal with.
As a young girl, I'd heard it whispered that those in my family had a blackness of soul to match their dark hair and dark eyes. I suppose that, despite being considered a 'black sheep' due to my features and my coloring, I should've considered myself fortunate since all my shortcomings as a Black spared me from the rumors and whispers. If I am being honest, I never saw my dissimilarities as anything but a burden. Perhaps I should've thought differently, perhaps I should've seen them as a blessing.
But I couldn't help but be envious. Bellatrix, my eldest sister, was beautiful. Is beautiful. She has always been and I suspect that she will always be if the years to come are good to her. Likewise, Andromeda always had and always will have the same type of Black beauty as Bellatrix but in a softer way. As a child, I'd often find myself envious of my two sisters. Because they were beautiful and I was not, because they looked like Blacks and I did not.
Bella has long, lustrous, thick hair that is as black as her name. I would murder for her hair. And her eyes, so wide and dark and bottomless, are, in my opinion, her loveliest feature. Her and Andromeda were blessed with the most beautiful eyes, I think. What it must be like to have a pair of eyes that could strike both trepidation and lust into a man's heart. But where Bellatrix has always been fire and coal, Andromeda is more earth and wood. Her hair is just as long and thick and wild as Bella's but in a shade of brown that's always reminded me of chocolate. Her eyes, too, are wide like our eldest sister's but again, they are a soft, deep chocolate-brown.
I suppose that would make me water and ice, for I am as light as they are dark with thin, silvery-blonde hair that refuses to curl prettily like theirs and my eyes are almond-shaped and a boring, pale blue in color. Where my sisters are tall and sturdy and round, I am short and wispy and straight. In my adolescence, I watched with rage and envy as my sisters developed round, womanly figures while I narrowly escaped the fate of being flat-chested and boyish-looking forever.
I am so unlike my sisters and Black ancestors in appearance and my family all had their own accounts as to why.
My mother used to tell me that as an infant, I became so sick that they were forced to resort to the archaic 'healing' method of bleeding and bled me so much that it drained me of all my color.
As a cruel, little girl, Bella would taunt me by saying I was no true Black. Once, she even tricked me into casting a 'spell' which would supposedly turn my hair and eyes black. All it did, however, was cause a terrible rash and incur an even worse beating from our mother.
Andromeda never seemed to have an opinion on my appearance, though I doubt she would've said anything even if she had. She was always the sweetest of us Black sisters. She refused to say anything unkind to anyone unless, of course, she was standing up to our eldest sister.
And my father used to tease my mother and claim that she'd been unfaithful to him and that the powers above had 'brought to light' her cheating ways in me.
But at night, when his 'little Cissy' would be too afraid of the dark to sleep, Cygnus Black would whisper to his youngest daughter that she'd never have to be frightened because her father would always be there to protect her.
I think I am his favorite daughter. My father never showed much emotion towards any of his little women but I can remember a handful of smiles and hair-rufflings from him. Conversely, I tend to harbor the suspicion that I was the bane of my mother's existence. She was cruel towards all, that much I will admit, but the caustic remarks and sharp looks I'd received from her throughout my adolescence still, to this day, act as fuel for the constantly-burning fire that is my own insecurity.
But she wasn't all bad, my mother. There were times when she'd loved me, when she'd loved all of her daughters. Mother always said that sons carry the name but daughters carry the house. I suppose that was her way of justifying why she'd never had a son, as though she herself had made the decision to have three girls and no boys. But as I've said, there were times when she'd loved all of us with a love as fierce and powerful as she was.
Simply put, my mother wanted the best for us. She wanted us to be perfect, shining examples of the kind of women that the Noble and Most Ancient House of Black could churn out but also, she wanted people to see that her own family, Rosier, could produce just as fine a woman as the Blacks.
But women made from glass shatter just as easily as women made from clay.
Mother's dead now. But pity her not, I implore you, since she remained alive long enough to see her three daughters marry. But to hear Bella speak of our mother's death, one might think it was our sister's marriage that had killed her. If I'm being honest, I think a great many things killed our mother but Andromeda's marriage was not one of them. Of course, I'd never tell Bella that.
I think Bella wants to hate our sister so much, she'll blame Andromeda for anything. If it rains, it's Andromeda's fault. I think Bella has even taken to thinking that our sister somehow is to blame for her miscarriage. But it is not appropriate to speak of such matters and Bella is more than happy to let the unfortunate past go unspoken of. Except where our sister is concerned, of course.
As for me, I will neither condemn nor condone either of my sisters. Outwardly, I must appear to hate Andromeda Tonks. I must appear to hate her for her marriage, for her child with the muggle-born, for her disregard of our Black beliefs, for everything she is. I must appear to hate her, for Bella's sake. And for my own. My life would be unbearable otherwise.
Truthfully, I am glad for my sister's happiness but I am selfish in my wish that she'd chosen another path, so that I wouldn't have had to cut her out of my life. There are many days when I miss my sister, when I grieve the loss of my sister as though she had died, when I wish that she had instead of choosing to live a life without her family.
I do not think Andromeda's marriage is what killed our mother. Our mother was a cold, vicious, and shrewd woman. I remember watching her blast my sister's face from the tapestry, that blessed tapestry, and laugh wickedly at the hole she'd left. I remember mother striking me for sobbing that night, I remember tasting metal in my mouth. I used to think that our mother would live forever. The thought used to terrify me.
What killed her, I think, was a terrible psychosis that went untreated for many, many years. She died without her family by her side, save for my father, who refused to leave her. Even after everything she'd done, even after she railed against him for sending news of her illness to their middle daughter, the traitor, my father refused to leave his mad wife's bedside.
They say that madness skips a generation but looking at Bella, one would think that untrue. Bella is an exact replica of our mother, perhaps she's even worse. She feels no remorse for anything. I'd like to think that my mother felt remorse during her last moments but I'll never know for sure. I am certain, though, that Bella will never feel it. She will live a remorseless life and will no doubt go to her grave defending and justifying her actions.
I am scared for her. Not counting Lucius or my aging father, Bella is all that I have left in this world. I came into this world with two sisters and I am very afraid that I will leave with none. Bella and I are so different. We are night and day but we are sisters. My husband, despite how he shares Bella's beliefs, often asks me how I can still love her after all the things she has done. My answer is always the same.
Because she is my sister. No matter what she does, she is my sister. Just as my parents are my parents and Andromeda is my sister still. Bella is and always will be my sister and my very best friend. I have no choice but to love her as I love all my family despite their madness.
Perhaps I am mad, as well.
Author's Note:
This 'prologue' is, sorry to say, very vague and short but does serve a purpose. Going into this story, which will actually take place throughout the Black sisters and company's years at (and following) Hogwarts, I wanted to provide readers with the thoughts of one of the character's after the events of this story. I chose Narcissa because I've always found her to be the most interesting sister. Without disregarding Bellatrix or Andromeda, who will also be very prominently featured in this story, I wanted to show how the events that have already taken place have affected Narcissa. The main reason is because Narcissa is going to be a very major character in the two stories following this one.
I suppose it is safe to say that this 'prologue' is not really a prologue at all but I didn't know what else to call it. The whole story, which will take place from1968 to 1978, will act as a sort-of 'prequel' to my next story, which will begin with Draco Malfoy's initiation and end with the defeat of Lord Voldemort. This prequel will tell the stories of many of the Death Eaters we've grown slightly familiar with throughout the Harry Potter series but will, obviously, be a more in-depth and dramatized account.
Personally, I've always found the 'villains' of the Harry Potter universe to be far more interesting and mysterious than the heroes. I've often wished that Rowling would write a version of the books that focused solely on the 'darker' characters and their stories.
Some of the characters that will be featured in my story are the Black sisters, Regulus Black, Lucius Malfoy, Nero Avery (one of the Death Eaters known only by his surname in the books whose background and story I've made up), Severus Snape, etc. Likewise, other characters such as Andromeda Black, Sirius Black, Rodolphus Lestrange, Peter Pettigrew, etc and their connections with the aforementioned characters will be mentioned in this story, as well. There will also be characters in this story that are completely original, such as Nero Avery's wife, his daughter ( who will be one of the main characters in the next story), and several other new additions.
Fair warning, this will be a very dark and mature trilogy, the first two stories especially. Most of the elements and concepts in this trilogy will be unsuitable for anyone under the age of sixteen, such as scenes of a graphic sexual, sensual, and violent manner, adult language and themes, mentions and scenes of torture, death, rape, etc.
I really hope that anyone who reads this scrap of a prologue will offer me their thoughts. I can only find the courage to continue writing and posting this story if I am encouraged to. This is not to say that I only want to hear positive feedback, I love to hear (polite) critique, too! Mainly, the important thing to me is that there is interest in me sharing this story that I've come up with and written. Also, if enough interest is generated, I will be creating a blog centered around this story! Infinite x's and o's, Emily.
