Clean Slate

Chapter 1

My name is Fitz Grant. I have been through a lot in just a few months. I am the President of the United States and I had no idea how hard and dangerous it could be. One moment I am on the high, the most powerful man in the world and then in a blink of an eye my Presidency is about to come crashing down through blackmail and a strange twist of fate. I would die for her. Olivia Pope.

She is the epitome of perfection. I love her so much it's hard to breathe when I am around her. She is my soul mate the love of my life, but she is neither my wife nor the mother of my children. We are just connected in a way that I believe the guy upstairs ordained our meeting. I have always been the good guy because my ultimate goal was to help others and the ultimate way would be to become the President.

My wife Mellie who I met at Harvard Law School was the perfect wife. She was beautiful smart and had all the connections. So I chose her because this was my end game. I needed a formidable First Lady. Back then, I had no time to be like young men my age. I was always alone in my world. Had all the money and a good family name but I craved love but it never happened. I never let it. My mother died when I was born so I was raised by nannies and I think my dad never forgave me because he kept pushing me to be perfect. He never told me he loved me and that's all I ever wanted from him. I wanted it badly and cried of emptiness sometimes. When I became governor finally he told me he loved me but it was too late I was already damaged. My goal of being the President consumed me and dare I say kept me sane.

It's funny I was at the door of achieving that goal and she came into my life. My Livie, my chance at being normal even if it was in a fantasy world. She saved me from my demons. Right now I have so many questions running through my mind. It amazes me how this beautiful woman of color captured my heart. About 5 feet 7 inches with the most beautiful eyes I have ever looked into she reminded me of a cool nerd but I kept thinking of her. So crazy how I wanted to be next to her, touch her, see her smile. I admired her because while she was strong she had a big heart. I saw myself in her.

Mellie is gorgeous but I never loved her. Sometimes I feel guilty for using her as the perfect good wife but in ways she used me too. She was in love with some else. The brilliant Turkish international student at Harvard and her father forbade her from seeing him and when she got pregnant I offered to marry her and raise Gerry as my own. I gave him my name Fitzgerald Thomas Grant 4. Don't get me wrong I love the boy but she owes me as much as I owe her and then there is Karen my princess, my little girl whom I named after the mother I never got to meet.

Before Olivia she was the reason I had stayed so long in the marriage but now I was President because of Olivia and I found her because I decided to be President. She was the PR person of my campaign and we fell in love. We didn't plan it. It just happened. I tried to ignore those feelings but I noticed her blush anytime I looked at her and it hit me. She was feeling the same way. I struggled with going after her. Would she respect me or think of me as a dirty man? I had to try. At 45 I was in love for the first time. I knew it was love because after spending time together on the campaign trail she was always on my mind. She was my drug my fix. I had to see her beautiful face. I would never forgive myself if I didn't try.

I still remember knocking on her hotel door in New Hampshire.
"Is everything okay Governor", she asked.

"No", I replied.

"Why are you here it's two in the morning?"

"I know this sounds crazy but I can't stop thinking about you. You are so smart and funny and sweet and you take care of me", I said searching her face for answers.

She sighed and asked 'Why is this happening'?

"I need you Olivia".

"Did I lead you on, I am sorry"

"No I love you" I said interrupting her. "You make me happy I can't imagine you not being in my life"

"This is wrong you are married with 2 kids who smile at me" "I know, I know I have struggled but I love you, I need you in my life"

"Mellie?"

"I don't love her." "Sometimes marriage is not just about love and passion. It is about mutual needs; it's a partnership. I know you must think I loved her at one time, maybe I don't know, but we are barely coexisting now. It's a façade, it's for show."

Then I kissed her. Her lips were so soft and I deepened the kiss before she could protest. I needed to control this. I needed her to want this. I knew her head was telling her it was wrong but I didn't care. If we are guilty of anything it's of being in love but unavailable. I knew her heart was feeling just what I was feeling. So I pulled away.

"Look at me. Tell me you don't feel what I am feeling and I promise you we will pretend this never happened."

"Fitz, I am so scared I should protect you from things like this." "You have saved me and protected me more than you know."

She couldn't speak again and I knew her silence meant consent.

"Livie", I whispered taking in her aroma. There was no going back now.

"I just wanted to say…." she started. But before she had a chance to finish her sentence, I kissed her again carried her to the bed and ravaged her entire body with my mouth and hands while she writhed in pleasure beneath me.

After a round of intensely passionate lovemaking, she lay awake and completely sated in my arms. All I could think about was how wonderfully perfect the last two hours had been. "Just thinking how wonderful this has been", I said smiling and kissed her lightly on the lips.

"It has been pretty damn amazing hasn't it? But
I'm scared I'm going to wake up any moment and find you gone, and realize this whole thing was nothing but a dream".

"Trust me Livie, its real. You and me, it's real", I replied, kissing her again before wrapping her securely in my arms. Now get some sleep because we have a busy day tomorrow".