Paradigm
By: Negaigoto
Synopsis: A paradigm, in its most basic form, is a framework. A framework for some thought process. A framework that Artemis currently lacks.
a/n: I attempted to keep it as in-character as possible so forgive me for any lapses. This is meant to be a look into Artemis's relationship with Holly. I suppose you could say this is post Atlantis Complex, but I'm not quite sure how plot elements from that would fit in. So this is under the assumption that he is completely cured. Please read and review.
Disclaimer: I own nothing but the creativity behind my own story's plot. The characters are creations of Eoin Colfer and all copyrights and trademarks and amazingness belong to him alone.
A paradigm is defined to be a framework for a philosophical or theoretically inquiry. It is considered a model of how something should be done. A pattern that can be replicated and observed. It was logic at its finest. It produced a method, a means, a goal, and some form of interpretation.
"You never got it did you Artemis?" She whispered, fighting back tears, "What is that you want from me?"
"I don't know."
"How can you of all people not know? You base your life off knowing things, yet you can't answer a simple question."
Unfortunately for me, there is no paradigm on love. Everything exists outside of the box. In fact that only thing inside of the box is the notion of its existence. Confession, expression, devotion. All concepts, theories, nothing set in stone. Society stepped in for science and imposed its own paradigm. A paradigm that was, ironically, merely a guideline for working without framework. Individuality at its finest is what defines love. Individuality defies any sort of logical process that could follow.
She kissed me softly, knowing I was awake. She pressed up against me and sighed into my chest. A blanket of security fell upon us. It rooted us there, taking away any desire to pull ourselves from the bed. Spontaneous. Emotionally driven. Everything that defied the framework of my life cocooned that moment in time and I reveled in it. A moment of bliss for the two of us. That smallest sliver of silent acknowledgement we had been seeking.
I hear Butler walk into my office. He starts to say something, but seems to think better of it and leaves the tray with my dinner on the small coffee and slowly slips out. He probably noticed my eyes looking into space, and heard the silence of the muted newscasts. There is no doubt in my mind, that he knew what preoccupied me. And though I find the thought distasteful, I knew there was nothing he could do to comfort me either. And so I continued to stare into that space. Wondering what it was that I should have done differently.
"This was supposed to be different Arty…" She murmured her head on my chest. She fidgeted and fought against a sob.
I lay there, unable to say anything to comfort her. I searched my mind for a justification, a reason, for my decision. I could find none that would satisfy either of us. I could only hold her tighter. She fell into a listless sleep. A luxury I would be deprived of.
I stand and cross the room to the window. I open it and stare out onto the grounds of Fowl Manor. An emerald green, rolling wave of grass set against a quiet oak forest. I left the window ajar again. It was to be a silent invitation and one I had had left for the past 2 years. It was one that had yet to be accepted. I returned to my desk and, once again, returned to my work managing the finances of the Fowl Empire. A task I did not take lightly.
"It's a framework Holly. Something I can live and stand by." I said to her with the slightest of smirks on my face. She rolled her eyes at me.
"You can't just create a process Artemis. There isn't exactly a procedure for this."
"So why not make one? A progenitor. The first of its kind." She turned crimson at my comment. And in hindsight, it was quite a poor choice of words for our situation. After all, lying next to each other, with very few garments of clothing on, words could be taken out of context. "I stand corrected then."
She laughed and hit me in the face with my pillow.
A ghost of a smile flickered onto my face at that memory. A smile that quickly evaporated when reality came back into focus. I sighed and surrendered on finishing the workload tonight. I made my way past the uneaten meal and padded towards my suite to shower and sleep. On the way I paused next to the window overlooking the garden. I could have sworn I saw the slightest of shimmers. Wishful thinking I suppose. And I moved on.
"Because this was never meant to be a bivouac Arty!" She was sobbing now. "This wasn't something you could wave away with your logic and frameworks."
"I never meant it to be." Was all I could muster.
"The great Artemis Fowl, lost for words?" She said bitterly. "I rue the day."
I dreamed of that night. The night she left in tears with her heart torn up by myself. My own heart lay in tatters. A decision had to be made. I made it for the both of us. I reasoned it would be better this way. I could not have been more wrong. Perhaps I had been going about this all wrong. My enemy had never been my lack of a framework. I was adaptable to situations. I had to be in my former line of work. Things never went as planned. Contingencies failed. It was meaningless to standby some sort of process. They would fall apart in the end. The box, though familiar, was not the safest place to hide in.
"Why did you have No1 put up such a complex barrier around this area Artemis?" She had asked, making a small hole in the dirt to complete the Ritual. "There are plenty of oaks throughout your forest, why this little grove?"
"It was the one place Butler has given me peace throughout the years." I said nonchalantly as I continued my sketch, "He knew whenever I retreated here that I wanted peace and time to focus."
"Butler? Giving you space?" She snorted and sat against the oak while leaning upon my side. "That's a laugh, he was probably hiding in the bushes."
I gave her a faint smile and put the finishing touches on the sketch.
"Well, now no one that I do not want to intrude will be able to. So there are no bushes to hide in." I murmured to her, setting my sketchbook aside and pulling her close. "Let's not talk of those things, we've only got a few days together before your visa expires, no?"
I woke early as normal. I never seemed to wake before Butler though, breakfast always seemed to be ready the moment I was awake. I changed into a more comfortable polo and trousers, slipped my sketchpad into a bag, and made my way across the grounds to the forest. One right, two lefts, another right, and around a bend. Walk past the tree with the scarred bark, and slid through the bush of holly and there it was. A small tucked away portion of the forest that opened up to the sky. A single oak graced the area, seemingly fenced off by smaller bushes. A sanctuary. One that we could call our own and have a reprieve from everyday life.
"Artemis, we need to talk…" She sat up in bed and looked down at me, my eyes still shut. "I know you're awake Artemis."
I opened my eyes but avoided her gaze.
"And whatever would your inquiry be?"
"You've been avoiding my question Artemis…" She gently took my face into her hands and turned it towards her. When our mismatched eyes met, I couldn't turn away. "I just need to know where you stand Artemis…"
I opened my sketchbook once more. I flipped it back to the beginning. Diagrams mostly. Plans, blueprints, plans of attacks, a stray chess strategy or two, things of a more criminal enterprise also littered the first thirty or so pages. Though, more philanthropic topics began to crop up here and there. A new park design for Dublin, remodeling work on some of London's older districts, even a few plans detailing a few restorations of art. Innocuous and people friendly, something I had never thought would occupy this book. I flipped a few pages further and suddenly felt like I had been struck in the gut.
"Why pray tell must I submit to this ridiculous demand?" I asked. "Not only is this uncomfortable, but I think my skin is about to burn off."
"You're not actually a vampire dear, you'll live." She sniggered behind the sketchpad as I held the pose for her.
"Why do you want this?" I asked later. "It's not like I'm the sort of person who'd pensively stare off into the distance with a ridiculous whimsical half-smile on my face."
She laughed and kissed me on the cheek.
"Regardless, I am now obligated to demand from you a pose and sketch as well."
"Alright Arty, what pose shall I take? A Nude?" She laughed harder as I turned a shade of crimson that Julius would have been proud of.
The soft and natural elements of the portrait seemed almost ethereal, enhancing the beauty of the sketch. I ran my finger over it with regret. I never had given her the painting of this picture. Then again, at the time, it would have been quite the inappropriate gift to have been giving at the time.
My heart sank when I saw the small letter than lacked a postmark. I pulled out the thin holographic plate with trepidation. My mind stopped processing what I was seeing at that point.
"To Mr. Artemis Fowl II:
You are cordially invited to attend the wedding of Trouble Kelp and Holly Short.
Please RSVP by tapping the 'Attend' button at the bottom of this screen."
I sat there in a daze, and stared at my finished painting. The eyes filled with mirth, and the rays of sunshine that seemed to leap off the paint looking mocking and surreal. I had stood up and made my across the room with the painting, before noticing I was about to toss it in the fireplace. I pulled back, unsure of what to do, leaving the invitation upon my desk.
As my brain began to function properly again I covered the canvas with clothe and called Butler to the office in order to store the portrait in the attic. He did not ask any questions. I surmised that he had also received a similar invitation. He walked out the room without a word, only a worried glance at my listless self.
How long had it been since the shoddy framework of our relationship fallen apart? I consulted a calendar and my journals. Three years since I had made the decision for the two of us. Only one since the wedding invitation however. However logical her choice was, it still stung. Despite knowing the distance between the two of us, I had never thought this could have actually happened. But happen it did.
Needless to say, I did not attend their wedding. I thought it would be inappropriate to show myself to her as the wreck that I was, and the company of LEP personnel probably would have taken offense at my attendance as well.
I traced my fingers over the sketch once more wondering what could have been had I made a different choice. Regardless of the futility of that action, my mind processed the thought and spat out an answer.
'Who knows.'
Fantastic, my mind was developing a sense of humor. Exactly what I needed.
I continued to run my hands over the portrait sketch when suddenly a race rang out in the grove.
"It has been a while since you came here Mud Man."
I froze in shock, before replying, "And you as well… Mrs. Kelp."
Holly shimmered into existence in front of me.
"I'd prefer Major Short still from you Artemis." She said softly.
Silence filled the grove as we stared at each other. An awkward piercing silence that was oppressive and absolute had fallen over this grove.
"So how has work been for you, Major Short?" I attempted to break the silence, my voice seemed higher pitched.
"Busy Mud Man, as usual. It's been a while since I completed the Ritual as well."
Silence once again.
"I'm sorry I couldn't atten-" I started to say, she cut me off by shaking her head.
"I couldn't go through with it Arty." She murmured as she walked up to the oak and put her hand up against it.
"So it seems."
She glared at me, and I shut my mouth again.
"How long has it been since we last talked then Arty?" She attempted to start conversing again.
"Three years since that day." I respond curtly as emotionless as possible.
She gazed into the distance and plucked an acorn from the tree to save for later. The questions burning in my mind found my mouth to be an immovable gatekeeper. But I knew she anticipated my questions regardless and continued to maintain the silence.
"So why don't you ask then?" She finally said, turning to look at me, "Why doesn't the great Artemis Fowl ask that burning question that he's been thinking over since I let you know I was here?"
"It's not my place to ask." I say stiffly, struggling to keep the underserved bitterness from my voice. "After all, I was the one who broke things off between us."
"Why are you doing this Artemis?" She had sobbed, "You know I don't care about that. I'll take what I can get now and never regret it."
I held her in my arms, hopelessly in love and terribly focused on what I needed to do.
"It wouldn't work between us and you know that." I murmured to her, holding her tight, "I will have passed long before you, and I don't want you to live with that burden, nor the burden of consummating with a mud man who nearly destroyed and revealed your civilization to the world."
"To hell with the Lower Elements Artemis!" She pounded on my chest with her fists, pleading with me, "I've never given a damn what they've thought before, why should I, no… Why should you start caring what other people think about your actions?"
"I… I don't care what they think of me and you. I care only about your happiness in the future, one that we can't predict now."
"Exactly! You said it yourself, we can't predict it now…" She sniffled and shook from her sobbing, "Why Artemis? Why throw away something we've wanted for so long now? Why throw away all this happiness and safety for a future that might or might not be better?"
"Because it'll be better for you." My argument was hollow even to myself, I couldn't stop now though. Not after putting her through this. "A future without me now, would be the same as a future without me then."
"You're wrong Artemis. You're dead wrong. You're someone I could never forget, with memories that I would cherish forever. It doesn't matter to me if only had another 50 or 60 years with you out of the many I have left. Let me live life to the fullest now Arty…" She was sobbing again and could not continue.
She soon fell asleep clutching me tight. After hours of unrest I fell asleep as well. When I woke in the morning there was a note on the bedside table.
'When you figure it out, let me know – H. Short'
"It's just as vivid in my mind as well Artemis." She murmured to me.
"Excuse me?" I asked, snapping back to reality. "What exactly is vivid?"
"Don't beat around the bush Artemis. I know you're thinking of that night. I know I haven't stopped thinking about. I never stopped waiting for your response either…"
"It appears you did…" I trace my finger over the sketch again, "That invitation seemed like resignation."
A ghost of her fiery smile flickered across her face. "You know I never give up."
Yes, I did know that. I knew that very well.
"It's a bit early to start thinking of children isn't it Arty." She laughed and poked me in the side. "You aren't even sure if our genes are compatible."
"Don't start sounding like Foaly now." I said irritated.
"Well he is the foremost expert of fairy and human biology." She laughed again upon seeing the scowl on my face.
"Fairy perhaps. Human, certainly not." I pushed her down onto the bed and buried my face into her auburn curls. "He could never explain this now could he?"
"He would say that I was suffering from extended Stockholm syndrome." She chimed, baiting me.
I stayed silent at that remark and choose instead to nip her ears a bit. She yelped and laughed trying to shove me off.
"I love you Artemis Fowl." She said demurely as I traced kisses down her neck.
"So I am aware…" I said playfully with a vampire smile on my lips. "And you are the world to me…"
"What exactly brings you here Holly? Not a social visit I presume? It's been far too long since we've spoken to make this casual small talk the only reason you're visiting me."
My heart could not have been beating any louder or faster. I was certain it would explode despite knowing that it was virtually impossible for it to just give out without prior symptoms or signs. Then again, medicine was not set in stone. Nothing was. It was all just assumptions and postulation. Formulaic, but ultimately useless against the unknown.
She squatted down at the base of giant oak and ran her fingers across and engraving we had made.
'I surrender to you, my heart, my soul, and my love.
For you are the light of my life, my flaming chariot in the sky,
A being that graced the earth I stand upon.'
"You were terrible at romantic poetry Artemis." She said with a half-smile upon her face.
"You're avoiding the question" I said, fighting the urge to snort. "And you did request that I do that spontaneously."
"I'll come out and say it then Artemis." She stood up and gazed at me again, "These past three years have been hell on earth for me.
"I haven't been able to sleep, I've let Trouble back into my life, I allowed myself to be delegated into a higher paying desk job, and Foaly has been needling me the past three years to speak to you first.
"You decided three years ago to split us up. I admit, I hated you then, I felt enraged and spurned. It felt as if I had just been your toy, something that you had gotten bored with and thrown away. No, don't say anything yet.
"I fell into Trouble's arms quite easily then, and he proposed a year and a half later. When he had Foaly and I create wedding invitations, I nearly broke down at yours. And in the end, I realized I could never hate you Artemis. These mismatched eyes will link us together forever. I could never forget you for Trouble.
"Just seeing these eyes in the morning created doubts. I couldn't stop thinking of all the times we had together, adventures, silence, time alone. Everything blended together. And I didn't want to forget Artemis. And it looks like neither do you…"
I was silent. What could I say? She was right. I couldn't let go of her no matter what. I didn't even have the heart to acquire colored contacts to cover up my own set of mismatched eyes.
"Could you stand me now Holly? Broken and unsure of life? I hurt you so deeply. Yet you come back? Who is to say I wouldn't just hurt you again?" I tried in vain to dissuade her, and myself. I didn't believe a single word of it.
She walked over to me flew so that she could wrap her arms around me. I reflexively held her there, pressing my nose into her shoulder and breathing in her familiar scent. I noted her hair seemed longer than when she had left.
"Then we start over? Tabula rasa?" I whispered, "No framework, no planning, just throwing ourselves headfirst without regard for what will happen?"
"That would be impossible for you Fowl," She murmured into my shoulder, "You would think of everything four steps ahead of time, regardless. But yes, that is the idea. A blank slate, back to the beginning…"
.
"Aria get out of that tree!" I yelled at the impish little girl with the gleaming black hair and subtle hazel eyes. "Your mother would not be pleased at this!"
She froze and sulkily began to slip back down.
"You're no fun daddy!" She huffed at me.
I rolled my eyes and picked her up and brought her inside for dinner.
"Cunning little Fowl aren't you?" Holly cooed at Aria, taking her out of my arms. "How did you get around Daddy's latest security system in your playroom?"
"Juliet taught me!"
Juliet… I should have known. As much as I appreciated her teaching my little genius daughter how to break locks and be much more athletic than I ever was, I would have preferred her start a bit later than the age of four.
I shook my head and sighed. I could hear Aria babbling away to her mother in the kitchen still. I washed my hands and walked towards them, stopping in the doorway. Life had settled into a sort of routine. It seemed to follow a set of rules and guidelines. The perfect paradigm. That is until Aria broke every one of them in her deviously clever ways.
"Truly a Fowl…" I muttered under my breath with a half-smile. Holly looked up and smiled at me, she walked over and I leaned down to kiss her good morning.
"You're up early." She said with a grin on her face, "Did Aria drag you out of buddy without me noticing?"
"Hardly… I woke up from thirst and noticed her jumping from tree to tree." I said disapprovingly.
She laughed again, saying that she'd talk to her. She kissed me on the cheek and moved back to tending to Aria. I stood in the doorway for another moment before pushing myself off and heading towards the attic.
It was still there. That painting I had never given to her. She had come up to see it countless times already, but neither of us could bear to move the portrait. I gently ran my finger over the portrait, taking in every detail. I smiled to myself and recovered the canvas. I could hear Aria running around the place downstairs. I then heard Juliet's exasperating shouts for Aria to come over to her.
I stood up to stop Aria before she wrecked the entire manor. I stopped at the stairs for one last look at the covered canvas and decided on a name for it.
"Tabula Rasa"
a/n: And that is all. The ending and later parts leave much to be desired, but I felt like I couldn't help but put it in there despite it becoming a bit contrived. I'm looking to do more with this pairing but alas, I would like some reviews to tell me what I did right and wrong here. Thank you for taking the time to read this monstrosity.
a/n #2: Also, for all my Code Geass readers out there, I am looking to continue my stories. But now is not the time. Perhaps when the new anime comes out, I will be able to find that spark that ignited my passion for the C.C. x Lelouch pairing. While I still love that pairing to death, I just cannot find the inspiration to write it any longer. And I would like to be able to do it justice.