On the flight back to Ohio, Blaine collapsed in tears. He couldn't believe what he had done. Kurt was the love of his life, the one he was supposed to marry, the one he was supposed to have 2.5 adopted kids with, the one he was supposed to grow old with.
The image of the hurt and betrayal that was so clear in Kurt's eyes when he confessed what he had done was still imprinted in his mind. If he could turn back time, he would have flown to New York before he had resorted to sleeping with another guy. He instead would have run straight into Kurt's arms without horrible guilt threatening to consume him. He had never regretted anything more in his life.
A wave of self-loathing hit him, heaping itself on top of the guilt and regret. He was such an idiot. He had finally found something great, someone great, and he had had to go and ruin it. That's what he seemed to do with everything, though. He had ruined his relationship with his father and his parent's relationship by coming out to them. His father had been so angry and his mother had been so angry with his father for not accepting his own son. They had gotten a divorce shortly after, and even though his mother had told him time after time that it wasn't his fault, he still knew deep down that it was.
He hardly ever saw his mother anymore. She was busy with her new boyfriend and making new house they had moved into together theirs. He knew that his mother still loved him, but that still didn't stop the feelings of abandonment and loneliness he got every time she was too busy to see him or missed his phone calls.
Kurt had been the only one in his life that had put him first. He truly loved Kurt and knew that Kurt loved him return. Though, he didn't know if that would count for anything anymore.
He felt like tearing his hair out. Why did he have to ruin the one person that was actually there for him and loved him? Kurt had made him feel special and beautiful and loved. He didn't dismiss everything Blaine did well by pointing out how he could do better. He actually took Blaine's feelings into account.
Blaine had just been feeling so horrible because it felt like Kurt had suddenly stopped doing those things. It felt like his situation with his mother, where he would sometimes feel that maybe she didn't actually care about him anymore; that she was building a new life where he didn't have any part in. He had felt so abandoned and lonely and he had just needed to feel wanted by someone.
He suddenly felt like vomiting and it wasn't just because the plane was landing.
Two days later, Blaine was lying on his bed, lost in feelings of loneliness and guilt, when there was a knock on the door. Sighing deeply, he slowly made his way down the staircase, ready to tell anyone who might be there to piss off. He pulled open the door and his heart stopped.
Kurt was standing there, eyes red and puffy from crying, but steely and determined nonetheless. Blaine opened his mouth to say something that might help fix what he did, when he realised that there was nothing left that he could say without repeating himself for the 500th time. There was nothing he could say that would help, so he closed his mouth and waited for Kurt to speak.
"I'm only here because it somehow didn't feel right to do this over the phone, no matter what you did. This is goodbye, Blaine. I won't ever be able to trust you again after what you did. There's no coming back from this, Blaine, so stop sending me flowers and stop calling me. You're only making this hurt more." Kurt said all of this in a tight, choked voice. It was clear that the words were breaking his heart just as much as they were breaking Blaine's.
"You said you would never say goodbye to me," Blaine replied in a small, feeble voice, eyes shining and on the verge of tears.
"I never thought you would do something like this. I never thought you would break my heart."
And the worst part was that Blaine knew that he deserved to lose the best thing that had ever happened to him.