This is a Bonnie and Stefan pairing but Damon will be one a main characters. I'm considering making it a poly fic but It all depends on what you guys think. If you think that I should go that route review and tell me.
Disclaimer: I own nothing
This story in a little au. There is no Jamie in this story (I hate him anyway) and Elena choose damon. Bonnie and Jeremy are together
It hurts, it hurts badly. Well I can only assume that it hurts. I can't actually feel it., but I know it's supposed to hurt, hurt badly.
So I take solace in that fact. A little pain is good, it reminds you that you're still alive. I haven't felt alive in years!
Jeremy is crying, he thinks this is his fault. It Is. But it really isn't, it's my fault. Everything is always my fault. That's what I'm good at, ruining things.
He pulls me into a tight embrace. It is meant to be comforting but everything feels wrong,it feels off. Like the world is spinning off its equilibrium. His warm breath feels like a brillo pad caressing my neck. Has it always felt like this? Maybe it has. Maybe I've just never noticed before.
His hands are hot; scolding hot. It scorches my cheek when he leans in to cup them.
I hate it, it feels patronizing. I grit my teeth together to keep from screaming. I want to scream,I want to scream badly.
I try not to flinch away from his touch. His hands are everywhere, trying to burn my body into its memory.
He's saying goodbye, and I let him. Jeremy needs this. I should need this too, but for some reason I don't.
"I'm so sorry Bonnie" He says for the millionth time. I'm sure he is, to a certain extent.
He is sorry that he's been so unhappy, sorry he has to force his eyes shut to make love to me.
He is sorry that with every thrust into my body a shiver of disgust,not lust courses through him.
He is sorry that he can't explain the silent tears that fall when we finish, his and mines.
He is sorry that he doesn't love me anymore, sorry that it's taken him so long to realize he never did. At least not in the way a man is suppose to love a woman.
He is sorry he can't pretend to be happy anymore, or pretend to be something he's not.
I'm sorry too, I really am. I am sorry that I can't even find it in me to feel something; anything in this moment.
What I feel for Jeremy is as close to love as I'll ever be able to get. And yet it's not enough, it never was.
I'm not numb in this moment; I'm Indifferent. And that very thought should disgust me.
This is supposed to hurt. It should. I wish it would
"It's okay Jeremy" I whisper into his neck. It really isn't
Short chapters in the beginning. I will publish more each few days if I get enough of a response.
Review
If I should continue