A/N: Dedicated to RaggyDollPirate. This be a series of separate stories that make up one big one, all centralising about a seasonal theme. Hope ye like your Christmas present! XD Cap'n Jack -x-
This was it. She had always said he would be the death of her. Trouble snapped at the heels of the pirate that ran like a basilisk and walked like an instrument-lacking pianist, and it engulfed anyone stopping to watch. Miss Starfall gazed numbly over the heads of the crowd that stood before the gallows, unable to focus upon a single face in the event that their hatred and disgust would break the last strands of dignity she held. They had the mind of a mob and therefore had no mind at all. Something breathing that had no mind was terrifying. Her ears refused to register what the official had to say of her crimes. It might have included being born.
Drums beat slowly to his voice. Somewhere below the scaffold was an old monk mumbling and chanting, consecrating the spot where she was to drop. The crowd were becoming restless, bustling forward, their voices beginning to drown that of the man reading his scroll. Jade winced as the heavily built executioner twisted her arms and dragged her to the trapdoor beneath the noose. The coarse rope was lowered and the loop fastened about her throat. She wasn't important enough for them to worry that her words would provide any lasting propaganda, and so she was granted last words. Fear gnawed away any chance of being clever or wise. Jade glared with glassy eyes at the ignorant mass before her.
"The lot of yeh make meh sick. Here y'are houndin' f'r the flesh'f any fool unlucky enough t' get caught tryin' t' stay alive when there's monsters out there murderin' an' worse under the shelter of yeh precious authority. Yeh jes' want the easy way, don' yeh? Lookit what yeh've become. On y' faith's most precious day yeh've got naught better t' do than watch some'ne die. Pff…"
She drew in a fearful breath at the sight of the official's nod. The drums lowered into a roll. Too many drums, why were there so many drums? The executioner's hand moved for the trapdoor's lever. The ground dropped away in a rush of air. A wave of gasps rippled through the audience as the chanting monk leapt aside and pulled out a pistol. A shot rang out and the rope was severed. The monk caught her as she plummeted, immediately swinging her to stand behind him. Dumbfounded, she watched a company of guards pour into the courtyard to arrest her hooded rescuer. He took a step forward and drew a sword from within his robes. She did not register the familiarity of his ring-adorned fingers until too late.
The guards of Port Royal fired their shots into the cleric's chest. He fell, bringing her down in her attempt to catch him. Jade crouched over him, fighting back a sob. She pulled back the limp figure's hood and looked with despair at the peaceful face of Jack Sparrow.
"Yeh stupid man," she said bitterly. "Yeh wasted y' legend on an end like this…"
As the enemy closed in, she pressed her lips to the pirate captain's. Preparing to go the same way, she pulled back –
– but found herself staring at the grin that had appeared on Sparrow's face.
The previously dead man sat bolt upright and yelled out a single word, "Now!" More than a dozen men within the crowd revealed themselves, roaring and waving weapons. A score more descended into the fort from over the walls. Townsfolk shrieked in panic, looking to the guards for protection. Guns went off, bayonets skewered, but still the pirates stood unharmed.
Jack leapt to his feet and discarded his habit. The broad smile still plastered upon his face, he pulled Jade along with him in his ascent to the scaffold. He passed the official and shot him such a look of sweet venom that the man yelped and leapt from the platform. Loading his pistol as he went, the sight of which sent the executioner screaming into the mob, Sparrow moved to the forefront of the gallows. He raised his arm and fired into the sky, calling for hush.
"Ladies an' rather less gentle men than I would care for, kindly shut it before someone gets hurt." He paused to frown in distaste at a confused guard who had yet to withdraw the point of his bayonet from a disgruntled pirate. The man gibbered and solved the matter swiftly by stepping back and fainting. Jack resumed his speech. "Before you all get your breeches, or skirts, in a tangle, we've only come for the girl, so if you don't mind forming an orderly rabble in the direction of your 'omes, bugger off and go eat your geese, savvy? Cam' on, what are you all waiting for? Today is a day for giving, i'n'it? You give us her freedom, I give you yours. We're square. Now, flee for your lives!"
The guard-punctuated gathering merely boggled at him. The pirate captain rolled his eyes and signalled to his men to fire their pistols into the air. This had the desired effect. With an assortment of screams, the townsfolk abandoned the fort. Sparrow laughed at their backs.
"Let this be the day that you will always remember as the day that you almost killed -!" He was cut off by Jade grabbing his arm and pulling him to face her.
"Aw'ight, how the bloody 'ell did yeh do it then?" she snarled.
Jack simply looked over her shoulder. She turned to see a monkey scampering along the crossbeam of the gallows. In its teeth was a golden medallion. Not quite understanding, Jade looked back to Sparrow as he made an identical coin dance between his fingers.
"An island can't sink too far if you 'ave the means to coax an undead monkey to fetch a few pieces of its treasure. O' course we'll 'ave to send 'im back down with them all suitably blood-sullied. At the very worst, I'm immortal forever." He smirked.
Jade grumbled and made her way down to the courtyard with the loitering crewmembers. Jack followed with the expression of a cream-filled cat. Before he could speak a word, she turned on her heel, scowling. "I only kissed yeh because yeh were dead." She took a step away before swivelling back. "Yeh know what I meant." Hurriedly, she altered the subject. "If the monkey's 'ere, where's Barbossa?"
Jack shrugged; too busy being giddy in his conceit. "Back on the Pearl."
She stared at him. "Pardon?"
"He's back on the -." The pirate's face drained. He locked eyes with her only the once before he ran full pelt out of the courtyard toward the docks.
Jade sighed at the vanishing figure on his futile quest. "Another year. Some'ne please tell meh why I torture m'self followin' 'im across th' seas." Resolved, she straightened her blue bandanna and marched on the road of self-infliction.