TITLE: "All Things X"
BY: Killashandra
E-MAIL ADDRESS: .za
CATEGORY: MSR
RATING: Adult. Under 18's hit the trash button. It may not be extremely graphic, but it's there.
SUMMARY: Scully slowly came awake, the room coming into focus as her eyes adjusted to the light or lack thereof. She was in Mulder's bedroom, in his bed.
TIMESPAN/SPOILER WARNING: Written post production/post series.
It is post All Things, and in conjunction with Brand X. Very little of both scripts are used, storyline is based as a companion for Brand X.
ARCHIVE INFO: Originally on The X Files Ultimate. May be archived elsewhere, as long as my name and disclaimer stay intact. Please let me know.
FEEDBACK: If you feel the need to, I hope you will enjoy it. Oh yea, I return thrown stones.
THANKS TO: Unknowingly the help for this came from fellow X Fu's, especially Menagerie, who has a great insight into the relationship of Mulder and Scully. (I don't always have the time to do the in depth stuff). Thanx Menagerie.
DISCLAIMER: The X-Files, the episodes referred to, Mulder and Scully and all other characters from the show belong to Chris Carter, Ten Thirteen Productions and Fox Broadcasting, and are used without permission. I have borrowed them, and will return them only when he needs them again. No copyright infringement is intended, and no profit will be gained. It is as usual the side of the story Chris Carter did not tell.
AUTHOR NOTES: Of all the fic's to write, this is the one I procrastinated on writing the longest. Until now I thought I could not do it justice or credit. Most MSR fic writers tend to start with one like this, and that is why there are many fic's out there based on these two episodes, as there are so many ways to interpret them, this is my interpretation, and whether you like it or not depends on you personally. I hope you enjoy reading it, as much as I enjoyed finally writing it.
All Things X
Scully slowly came awake, the room coming into focus as her eyes adjusted to the light or lack thereof. She was in Mulder's bedroom, in his bed, not that it alarmed her. What alarmed her is that she couldn't remember how she got there. She thought back, the last she could recall was having a discussion on his couch, she must have fallen asleep. She moved under the covers, realizing that she was still fully dressed. Mulder must have carried her to bed, not surprisingly as the last three days had taken their toll. She rolled onto her back
She could feel him next to her, she could identify his scent, she listened to his breathing… it was even, he's asleep…
This was not their first night together in a bed. That night happened so long ago, in Kroner Kansas after the flying cow incident. She had had little rest that night, too aware of his presence, his scent, and his body. It was then that she had realized that there was no other for her. He was the only one she could imagine herself with, wanted to be with.
She remembered the palpitations of her heart when he told her he loved her, had she not been sure of his delusional state, she would not have brushed it off as lightly…
The last time they had spent a night in the same bed, this bed, had been with his mother's death, where he sought comfort in her company, never her body. He had always acted with integrity, never pushing the boundaries of their relationship.
Oh how she at times wished he would, or that she could. But the fear of disappointment made it harder with each passing day. For so long now she had wanted him, they were close on an emotional and spiritual level, and intellectually they could not stimulate each other more. But physically was one level she was unsure she could ever meet him on. When she took into consideration Diana and Phoebe, she found herself lacking. They were confidant in their sexual attractions, they were tall, attractive woman, who were not scarred of making their intentions known. Where she, she just kept coveting his attentions. She released a sigh. Gazing at the ceiling, not really seeing it.
What she would not give to have him think of her as a beautiful, desirable woman. To have him look at her with a burning passion, that would make her forget every possible reason for not allowing it. Just to be consumed by the passion, the want the ache. She wanted to feel the sensations, to have his body worshipping hers, finally giving in to a need that was as raw as a naked flame.
She registered her body's response to her minds images, her hearts desire, an irrepressible warmth crept over her body, the result of which was painfully pleasurable. Like a drug taking it's effect. It spread over her body, causing her to move restlessly, turning towards him, she knew she was in danger, If just lying next to him could do this to her now, it would have to be the last time. This was torture of the sweetest kind, but never the less, torture all the same.
Mulder lay next to Scully, he had sensed when she had woken, heard the change in her breathing, felt her movements under the sheets. He concentrated on his breathing, fearing that if she knew him to be awake, she would take her leave. She lay quietly next to him, he could sense her thinking, of what he wondered. He had been aware of her body, it's inviting warmth and scent since he'd carried her to bed, the feel of it against his was imprinted on his skin, not even the shower had eased that. He wanted so badly to hold her, but knew he would be pushing the boundaries, and causing himself even more torture. Since he lain down next to her, his body had been in a heightened state of awareness. By holding her he knew that he would not only be damming himself, but most likely pushing her away as well.
The compelling respect she decreed, made the stakes so much higher, had she been anyone else he would have relented, taken what he so strongly desired. But not her, no, she was his one greatest weakness, His passion and lust for her his greatest enemy. The pleasure of her company, the only thing keeping him sane. She had become such an ingrained part of his life. A day without her seemed to take forever, and those with her always seemed too short. The thought of her ever leaving him, or finding someone, would drive him to the depths of despair. He wanted to possess her with an almost unbearable passion.
He heard the sigh, was tempted to take the risk of looking at her, but knew he would give himself away. He wanted to love her, to take that final leap, to let her know by sharing with her the final intimacy they've kept denying themselves. But he couldn't, shouldn't, he was not like her other lovers, and he could not take the chance of it coming between them, ever.
He felt her movements, they were seemingly restlessly, his heart leap in distress. She was leaving.
Difficult as it may be lying next to her like this, it was a thousand times easier than being here alone. Struggling to control his breathing he felt her hand on his chest, hesitantly at first, almost weary, was she going to wake him to say goodbye…
The touch lingered almost uncertainly… Scully had touched him thousands of times, but this seemed different. As his mind fought for control over his body, his breathing, his response. She had never before reached to touch him like this, or had she in his sleep…
Sleep, she thought him asleep, and would most probably draw back if she realized he was not. Wanting to hold his breath as her fingers moved a little more confident now, his heart pounding in his chest, she would soon realize.
Scully didn't know what made her reach to touch him, The warmth of his body, the firmness of his muscled chest, drew her like a bee to nectar. She stroked her fingers over the exposed part of his chest. He seemingly never slept with a shirt, and where that had initially caused a level of awkwardness, she was now thankful for the freedom it gave her. Her gaze followed her hand, as she raised herself onto her one elbow, allowing her more access. A sense of lethargy overtook her, the warmth of his flesh under her palm, the scent of his skin, combined they placed a trance on her as she indulged her senses.
She should stop, however something in her just pushed on, it would not relent, as her fingers played with his chest hair. She sensed him move, her eyes shot up to his face, only to find him awake, watching her. Making to pull her hand back, the reaction too slow as he clasped her hand drawing it to his mouth, she observed in seemingly slow motion, as he raised her hand opening it to kiss her palm, all his attention centered on that gesture. She raised her eyes to his, reading the want and need within them, knowing she felt the same. He placed her hand on his chest, over his pounding heart, reaching up to cup her face, whilst turning and pulling her closer. She went willingly.
Their lips met gently at first, a mere brushing, Mulder kept a steel band on his control, he didn't want to estrange her, her eyes were glazed, almost like she was drugged, he wanted to keep her there for as long as he could, he wanted her touch. Wanted to touch her in the ways he had so often fantasized about. The kiss met with no resistance, He deepened it more, playing at her lips with his tongue, he wanted access to her mouth, as she opened to him he pushed for entry, tasting her. He felt her hand run up his chest rounding his neck, as she surrendered to his ministrations. He pushed her back onto the mattress, the taste of her driving him headlong, onwards, wanting the release he knew he would find with her.
Scully surrendered herself to the moment, just this once she wanted to feel everything, experience this with him. Grasp the moment and live in it, to hell with the rational and predictable. She soaked up the sensations, the taste and texture of the kiss, as his hands started to caress down her body.
Slowly he withdrew the kiss. Pulling back he noticed her alarm, and prepared himself for her withdrawal. He ran his hand down her neck over her one breast as he moved back, he wanted to undress her, expose every inch of her body to him. The body he had only ever had glances off, glances burned into his mind, images that drove him insane at night with the want and need of it. He sat up, knowing they had reached a turning point. He pulled her up brushing her shoulders to remove her jacket, too anxious to speak, knowing that he would have to stop at the first sign of resistance, there was none as he dropped the jacket to the ground, he reached for her top pulling it up and over her head, as it joined the jacket on the floor. He reached for her, urging her back onto the bed. Slowly he started trailing kisses down her neck. Her breasts were still confined within her lace bra as he placed a kiss on the exposed swell of each reaching behind her to undo it, freeing them from their restraint.
Scully ran her fingers through his hair, every touch, every kiss heating her skin, branding her, as she basked in the bliss of pleasure. There was no urgency, no need to rush as Mulder slowly undressed her. His hands running down her body, loosening her skirt tugging it down whilst she lifted her hips to assist him, her arms dropped above her head. She registered every motion of his hands as he made his way back up her legs, over her inner thighs, encouraging her to open up to him, over her hips as he clasped her panty hose, placing a kiss on her abdomen just above her panty line, before tugging at both the hose and her panties, caressing the hose down her legs.
Stripping himself of his boxers, before his hands caressed up her legs again, his gaze following their progress, over her hips up over her ribs as they came to rest on her breasts, he slowly lowered himself onto her, his body burning where it touched hers. Careful not to crush her he braced himself, taking her lips again.
The feel of Mulder's naked body on hers, the hardness of his erection nudging her, the musky scent that now came off his body, had her clasping him to her. Every neuron in her body was on high alert, she had become one giant mass of sensations, her body in a state of euphoria, her mind in complete abandon beyond thought or reason. As he trailed kisses down her neck again, his hands now roaming her body, as he took her one nipple into his mouth tugging on it, almost feeding on it, her hands trailed through his hair, as her body arched in response, she felt the tugging sensations in her belly as he changed to the other, her body burning in response to the path of his hands, as they stroked down, seeking the core of her, the one part of her that was so wantonly alive now, begging for his attention. Tentatively he touched her, with a light feather touch, he could feel how hot she was for him, her body rising to meet him. In total abandon she opened her legs more, allowing him to settle there.
Mulder felt the heat the moisture of her, the musky scent of her arousal, her body so responsive, she was ready for him, and not wanting to chance a change of heart he moved back up her, lowering his body onto hers. Taking himself in hand he rubbed her with his tip, the response instant as she parted her legs still more, Pushing her body towards his, her nails raking down his back, her hands gripping at his hips, he guided himself, slowly, he felt her warmth enclose him, his every sense tuned into this moment, he gazed into her eyes, the expression there will forever be ingrained in his mind. His breath suspended as the sensations ran through his body as he slowly sank deeper, knowing it had been a long time since her last lover. How he wanted to banish the memory of him from her body and mind. He wanted her to remember, want, and share this with only him. He paused once fully inside her, the enormity of this moment hit him. Scully was his now, as he closed his eyes and exhaled.
Scully gazed up at Mulder not sure why he stopped, the entry of his body in hers was sheer ecstasy, the sensations of opening, stretching to welcome him, almost drove her to tears. His body was now part of hers. They had become one. Releasing her pent up breath, she tensed her inner muscles to hear his gasp, as he pushed against her. The movement sending a thousand pleasurable sensations up into her body
Scully he groaned barely audible
Mulder came her impassioned response, it was all he needed to know, she was with him, him and nobody else. Slowly he drew back ready to plunge into her, his need for control slipping as her body met his in a seemingly perfectly matched rhythm, the sensations almost unearthly as he slipped in and out of her. There was no sense of time or space, just the here and now, the union of two bodies, two souls. The dance of love, both given and taken. Her hands gripping him pulling him closer as her body stiffened, he felt it, at first a flutter, then a definite tugging on him, as she slipped over, her head thrown back, the moans escaping her lips hastening his body's response, allowing him the release he had sought for so long now, as he emptied himself, the groan escaping him primal.
Scully slowly drifted back to the present, Mulder had slightly eased his weight from her, whilst she held him, the full impact of what had just happened dawning on her, She was not ready to face the conclusions.
Mulder moved, sensing her quiet withdrawal, not trusting himself to speak he pulled her with him. He himself needed a moment to come to term with the implications that followed their actions.
Scully gave no resistance as she settled her head on his chest, not ready to break all physical contact, she felt him trace her arm
"Scully"
"Yes"
Mulder was quiet for a while, uncertain of what to say.
"No regrets?"
"None" Scully replied snuggling down, resting her hand on his chest
"Go to sleep" Mulder said kissing her forehead
"Mulder" Scully ran her fingers through his chest hair
"Yea"
"You?"
"Never"
Scully turned onto her side Mulder followed spooning behind her, not willing to let her go yet. He listened as her breathing settled, wondering what the morning would bring. Kissing her shoulder he settled himself closed his eyes and drifted off.
Scully woke just before daybreak, her body the first to remind her what had happened. She checked her watch, she would have to leave if she were to make it home, get ready and be at work on time. Slipping out of bed she picked up her clothes, dropping her jacket on the bed before heading towards the bathroom to dress.
Time passes in moments, Moments which rushing past define the path of a life,
Just as surely as they lead to it's end. How rarely do we stop to examine that path.
To see the reason why all things happen, to consider if the path we have is of our own making, or simply one in which we drift with eyes closed.
But what if we could stop, pause to take stock of each precious moment, before it passes, may we then see the endless forks in a road that have shaped a life, and seeing those choices choose another path.
Mulder woke not long after Scully left. Turning, expecting to find Scully in bed next to him, was disappointed to find her gone. His body reminding him that the previous evening had in fact not been a dream. Getting out of bed he noticed her clothes were gone, She had left without waking him, did she now regret last night, had they left too much unsaid and unfinished. Was she beating a retreat, unsure of how to deal with things as they now stood?
He headed for the kitchen, noticed a scribbled note left on his desk.
"See you at work". It read. Looking at the time he realized why she had left.
The phone rang, causing him to startle, then his expectations rose, thinking it may be her.
"Mulder"
"Morning agent"
"Skinner?"
"Yes, you were expecting someone else"
"Yes-No, never mind"
"Do you know where I can get hold of Agent Scully"?
"She's not home"
"I tried her number, however there is no answer"
"Why are you looking for her"?
" I Actually need both of you up here in Winston Salem, North Carolina"
"I'll see if I can reach her and we will be on the next flight up"
Mulder ended the call, then phoned Scully
Scully had just dried her hair, when her phone rang, expecting it to be Mulder, knowing he would have woken already to find her gone. Maybe she should have woken him before she left, however not sure of how things will go from here, she reached for the phone.
"Scully"
"Hey Scully, glad I caught you"
"Mulder"
"Why don't you throw a few things in a bag, we have a flight to catch"
"Mulder… where to this time"
"Skin man needs us up in North Carolina, I'll pick you up."
So much for awkward moments, it is just straight into work again this morning.
Mulder and Scully said little on their way to the airport, or on the flight for that matter, both more concerned with their own thoughts. Mulder kept sneaking glances at Scully, his mind full of the images of the previous evening. With the jet lag from the trans atlantic flight, last night and now this drawing on his reserves, he would much rather have staid in bed, preferably with Scully, and slept it off. Although he doubted he would have been willing to sleep much. Scully seemed distant again.
Scully glanced at Mulder he looked tired, the Trans-Atlantic flight was starting to show, she avoided any thoughts regarding the previous night, as just thinking about it made her body tingle with recognition, of intimacies and sensations it wanted to share again.
Arriving at the crime scene they found Skinner on the phone, before being led into a bathroom. Skinner handed Scully a medical file, and on looking at it was repulsed, Mulder kept his distance from Scully, avoiding looking at her when possible, his body was beat, however one look at her, and it was willing to dig into the last of it's reserves. He noted her expression when she looked at the file, needless to say that after last night the last thing he wanted to look at was that. Skinner showed strain, and probably wouldn't pick up on the change in them. Where he usually remained almost glued to Scully's side, being too close to her now would surely let everyone know what it did to him. Where in the past he could only imagine them together, and his collection of videos left little or nothing to the imagination, he now knew it for real, the images of her were burned into his mind, the feel and shape of her body was imprinted on his. Looking down he cursed himself, he should be paying attention to Skinner, focus on the case at hand. He sneaked another look at her. She seemed to be back to business showing no indication that anything could have happened between them. Skinner requested of Scully to do the autopsy, and with that she took her leave of them.
Scully stood next to the body as she heard footsteps approach; Mulder and Skinner entered the room, Mulder cracking his jokes. Her body started to respond to his presence, she avoided looking at him, unless she had no alternative. He seemed reserved, and when given her theory came up with his own. Shocking as always. She almost didn't notice his glance, had she not been glancing at him at that exact moment. He was not as indifferent as he would have everyone believe, he was tiered though, it showed. Scully wrapped up the autopsy, returned the body to the fridge whilst Mulder waited. Skinner had gone, she noted his glances were more open, he did little to cover the lust in them.
"Come on Mulder we better get something to eat, and you are in need some sleep"
"Yea I think you better drive, I'm dead on my feet"
Scully entered her room, stripping off her jacked headed for the bathroom, Mulder having excused himself. Her uncertainty prevalent regarding this morning, especially with regards to the proceedings from here. Having just finished in the bathroom there was a knock on her door.
"Who is it"?
"Its me"
"Mulder" she asked opening the door "You alright"
"Yea, I thought we needed to talk"
"About what"
"You want to discuss it out here"
"Oh sorry, come in" Scully let him into the room closing the door "what do you want to talk about?"
Mulder looked at her then stepped forward taking her face in his hands as he closed the distance to kiss her. He met no resistance other that that from his exhausted body. He broke off the kiss "We need to talk about that"
Scully remained quiet, she had know Mulder for a long time now and she could tell he was too exhausted, and talking now was not a good idea, she herself was not ready to discuss it.
"Mulder you need some sleep"
"Can I sleep here then, my room is not as nice"
"I thought your room was exactly the same"
"Ah yes but this one has you in it"
"Mulder I think your delusional with fatigue"
"Scully don't do this"
"Do what Mulder?"
"Your shutting me out, changing the subject, avoiding what happened… Scully it happened"
Scully just looked at him "Oh alright, get in bed then"
Mulder headed to the bed, removed his jeans and shirt before settling himself, as Scully, taking a deep breath to steady her nerves, readied for bed.
By the time she climbed into bed Mulder was asleep, so she turned off the lights and closed her eyes, her body aware of his as she willed it to sleep.
Mulder woke some time later, the first thing that registered was her scent, as he turned towards her, her back was to him, unlike most people who believed it to be the cold shoulder, his training had informed him, that it was that the position most often taken by those who want privacy in sleep, with Scully he could well believe it. Slowly he moved closer, wrapping himself around her, needing to be close to her again, as he breathed in her scent, kissing her neck.
Scully felt Mulder move, as his body came into contact with hers, her body responded, the warmth creeping over it, the tingling sensations spreading, as he wrapped his arm around her, the kiss on her neck rising goose bumps on her skin.
"You awake?"
"Yes, I can't sleep"
"Want to talk about it?"
"I'm not sure"
Mulder raised up looking at her over her shoulder "what's wrong, you're not regretting anything"
"No, no regrets, it's just that I'm having a hard time with this"
"This as in us this"
"No, yes, it's complicated"
"Try me"
"I guess it is more a case of my mind and body at odds with each other"
" Why?"
"My mind wants to make sense of what happened, whilst my body…"
"Let me guess. Your body is on high alert" pulling her closer, letting her know his body was as responsive to her presence. "Mine is as well" he ran his hand down her arm, placing his hand on her breast, her nipple already erect. He nuzzled her neck
"Mulder"
Mulder lifted his head, looking in her eyes he saw the inner struggle. Her willingness to loose herself with him, to travel with him to the places only they together could find, against her more realistic side. "What is it Scully"
Scully turned onto her back looking at him "what if this is just something in the passing, what if in weeks or month's we find it no longer works for us… we're partners Mulder, we have to work together"
Mulder dropped his head onto her shoulder "that is an answer only time could give us… I however would rather have that time with you, than a lifetime's regret" Mulder looked at her again, noted the change in her eyes, watched as her hand came to rest on his cheek, her thumb touching his lips, as he leaned into it kissing it, before leaning forward to taste her lips.
Mulder pulled her closer, fully exploring her lips, relishing in her response to him when his cell phone rang.
Placing his forehead against hers
"Now who do you think that could be"
"Want me to get it"
"No best let me, just now it's Frohike, and your heavy breathing may just get you in trouble"
"At this time of the morning"
"Other than you, who else would phone me at weird hours"
"Mulder"
Scully for the first time in her life felt capable of killing someone, whoever was on the phone, had better have a good reason for it.
"Mulder… that is fine Sir… Yes Sir…No don't worry I'll notify her… yes we'll be down as soon as we can…the address Sir…Right Sir."
Ending the call he tuned and looked at Scully "come on g woman, We'll have to take a rain check, that was skinner, they found another body, and he wants us there."
Scully closed her eyes, willing her body to cool, the sense of regret overwhelming.
Mulder got his stuff together and headed for the door, not trusting himself near her at the moment. His body strongly objecting the decision "Scully"
" Yes Mulder" she opened her eyes lifting her head to look at him
"Next time we turn off the phones"
"What, and have them banging down the door"
Mulder left
Scully swung her legs off the bed, selecting her clothes, headed for the bathroom. She still wanted to kill Skinner.
Scully and Mulder arrived at the crime scene just after six, the body in the same condition as the previous, Mulder having his theory, as far fetched as most, it however made some sense. The building was searched, whilst Mulder heading out on his own, and Scully headed out to the county morgue for the autopsy.
Scully was in the autopsy bay when Skinner joined her, the sight was one that tested one's stomach. When Mulder joined them, his expression much the same as her own at first discovery
Mulder walked to the other side of the room, sitting down. He never did know how Scully could stomach the things she saw at times. Suffering a sudden shortness of breath, he coughed, and noted the blood.
Scully looked over at Mulder when she heard him cough, puzzled, he didn't have a cold "Mulder" she walked over to him, taking his hand and noted the blood, dreading the worst.
Mulder was moved to the Ashford Medical Centre, where he was run through a series of tests and placed in theatre, whilst they attempted to clear his larvae infested lungs, it however was just an attempt in buying time.
After theatre Scully visited, her concern evident as she discussed his treatment, She was somewhat encouraged by his attempt at humour, however it was short lived as he started struggling for breath. With monitors screaming the doctor and nurses arrived in force.
Scully gazed at Mulder through the window, her feelings in utter turmoil. Her mind drifting back to this morning's conversation. "I however would rather have that time with you, than a lifetime's regret" Mulder's words came back to haunt her. Would the night before last be the only time… it can't be.
Scully's attention was drawn by the doctor, the X ray held bad news, and in his weakened state she could not allow for thoracic surgery, as he would surly die, however the prognosis was also not encouraging. Was she going to have to face loosing him, now when she had in reality just found him, her mind ran back to all the past situations like this she had had to cope with, the distress then was nothing concerned to her current state of mind. Then he had only been a partner and friend, now he was her lover, the intimacy had upped the stakes considerably, he was now utterly and completely hers.
Skinner called, they had found the test subject, he was shot and in transit to the hospital.
On arrival Scully noted his fingers, and thought back on her training, Nicotine, It was a natural insecticide.
Requesting some she rushed off to treat Mulder. Once administrated, it affected Mulder's breathing, the nurses rushed in again to help.
Later she ran a scan on him, there was a significant reduction in the larval quantities.
Later that night getting ready for bed, her thoughts drifted back to the morning. She agreed with Mulder, She would rather have the time they could have together, than spent a lifetime regretting it. He would get better, and they would experience this new side of their relationship.
One lives life in moments, take stock of each precious moment, as they are what shapes your live.