Ever since I moved here I've been stared at, I've been the center of attention, I mean why wouldn't I be I'm British, I'm hot, I have an attitude, and I made varsity football and basketball my freshman year. I was every girls dream, everyones except hers. She was different, that much I could tell even from the beginning, she didn't want me, and at first that had wounded me, she was the first girl to ever not want me, and I had no idea how to take it.
She was smarter than the other girls, more sensible in a way, and careful with who she let in for reasons at the time I couldn't fathom. She made state her freshman year I later found out, but she was on track, and to others that didn't seem like an accomplishment, because anyone could run. And that's true anyone could run, but Chloe, she didn't just run she sprung forth using so much power and force that you would think she would keel over in seconds, but she had this grace about her when running, it reminded me almost of a cheetah as it sprinted. Incredibly fast, but still possesing such a fierce beauty in the way it moved. She was beautiful to watch, and that's exactly what I started doing, I would go down to the track and watch her run after school. I remember when we first had a real conversation, one where she responded instead of just blowing me off with a comment like "I don't deal with players", comments. She had finally noticed that I had been watching her, and decided to confront me about it,
"Leave me the fuck alone Petrov I'm tired of you stalking me and following me around, you could have another girl in the school, pick one of your fans, anyone of them honestly I really couldn't care less, just leave me the hell alone!", she had screamed at me as she stopped running, approaching me at my spot on the hill.
"And what my dear Chloe would you do to stop me," I asked while playing with a strand of her beautiful blonde hair that had fallen out of her pony tail as she ran, " I don't want to be with any of the girls in the fan club their all the same, it's boring, but you, you're different, you intrigue me Chloe. And I've never been one to leave unsatisfied."
"really now? 'Cause you want to know what I think? I think that the other girls are "boring" because they see you as Mr. Popular, which is exactly what you think you want, but you're intrigued by me because unlike them I don't fawn over you. And you want to know why Alek Petrov? It's because you're just as messed up as every other fucking person in this school, the only difference is that your mask is a little thicker and a little harder to see through. But you wanna know something, I can see through it, I can see when you slip up a little here, and do something that contradicts your cocky façade. And even if no one else sees it I do and you know what? It pisses me off, because you spend all your time trying to hide who you really are just so you can be popular, and the funny thing is that you clearly don't even enjoy it that much if you're spending your time down here arguing with me. And you say you " want me" so bad, but I doubt that you really want me, you just wanted someone to finally call you out on all your bull shit. And now I have, so you can go back to pretending your life is perfect and leaving me alone!" she yelled, and I had just stood their not believing that someone else could know me better than I knew myself, without even ever having talked to me.
She had always seen through me, even in the beginning. That's what I loved about her, that and that she wasn't pretentious. She never acted like she was anything more or less than what she really was. It fascinated me, how she was comfortable to dress up and act super girly when with her friend Amy, and then go into the gym and work out with all the guys like it was no big deal. She truly didn't care about what other thought of her and that was the quality I admired most about her. It's funny how after she yelled at me that day on the track, we didn't talk again until she turned. We were good friends after she turned, after she finally allowed herself to trust me.
WE used to sit out on her roof late at night and watch the stars, sometimes just laying their, enjoying each others company, and other times talking, about our hopes, our dreams, our fears, our pasts, and sometimes even our future. She never really did like to talk about her future, and looking back I can't help but wonder if it was because she knew, subconsciously she wouldn't have one. Or maybe she was just fearful that she wouldn't make it through the war, and didn't want to get my hopes up by painting me a picture of our future together. Some of my best memories are of sitting on that roof with Chloe, but they're bitter sweet, knowing she isn't here to reminisce with me. All my memories are bitter-sweet now.
When we first started dating, she became subjected to the stares as well, it was something that truly bothered her, because while she wasn't self conscience, or afraid of being herself, she also wasn't used to the people staring at her, and talking about her behind her back like I was. Girls through themselves at me harder than ever, they tried to break us up in a million different ways, convinced that Chloe was wrong for me, and that I was the better choice. Eventually they gave up, though if it was because they finally realised I loved her and she was the only one for me, or because they simply ran out of ideas to sabotage our relationship I'll never be sure.
They still stare at me, even now that she's gone. And most even still want me, convinced that they can be the one to mend my broken heart. And it must have been the curse that kept me from loving them in the past, but now that it had been lifted, now that all the species were finally united, surely I would love them just like they had always loved me. But they had never really loved me, because they had never really known me, Chloe had been the only one to see through my mask, and the only one that could ever truly love me or be loved by me, and there's no way that they can "mend my broken heart" because you can't mend something that's as broken as me. They're all just in love with the idea of me again, or really, the idea or helping me and making me realise I was in love with them. But in the end it's all just their imagination. Because in reality, I'm in love with Chloe, and Chloe's dead, and in reality I can't be fixed, I'm always going to have this broken heart. Because you can't fix something as broken as me.