I don't get it. I just don't. Why everyone has turned against me? My parents always shout at me to study and study or even for random things. I just can't. Then my brother doesn't even talk to me and pushes me away. I don't have a boyfriend and I never had a truly good boyfriend. My friends… wait! What friends? Since I changed school I can't find someone to understand me and just talk with me. The girls that I hang out with at school seem so close, but I just can't be one of them. I don't even know what's the problem. Maybe it's me… I don't know. Then I thought I had a good friendship for like two-three years with Nicole, but she is pulling away from me. This year we are in different classrooms and she never comes by my class to find me. I have gone to her class many times to hang out with her, but she always leave to find her other friends or I can't find her there, cause she's already left. I feel so alone. I do have, though one really good friend years now, at least she's supposed to be a great friend. We don't talk anymore and when we do it's just… I can't tell her that I feel so alone, I can't tell that to anyone. When we talk it's about random things. Generally when I try to talk to some other person, she doesn't understand me or doesn't care about what I have to say. That makes me sooo angry, but also sad. I just want to cry. I hate school and when I'm there all I want to do is sit in a corner and listen to music. I guess I'm pathetic. Why can't I find someone who can understand me, care about me, support me, talk with me, advise me and help me? I feel so alone. I am so alone.
"Hi, I'm Phoebe Halliwell. I live in New York with my parents and my brother. I made this blog because I… I just feel so alone and I'm going to write here stuff that I can't share with anyone. It sounds weird as I'm going to share them with anyone that reads my blog, but I think that I'm going to feel better like that."
"Oh boy! This is all crap! Why do I start this blog? Maybe I shouldn't… OR I could write it by a nickname! Let's see… Um… "Loner"?Nah… Nobody would be interested in reading Loner's blog. Like I care… Maybe… "Charming"? Or "Charmed"? I think I like the word "Charmed". Ok. Charmed it is." Phoebe said, erased what she wrote before and rewrote it.
"Hello. I'm Charmed and I just made this blog. Don't know if you'll like or even care about the things I'm going to write here, but anyway.
I go to high school and it's really hard for me. I guess that happens to everyone, but it sucks. I hate school and I feel like no one cares about me. It's like I'm invisible. Even my own parents don't seem to understand me. Everything's a mess. This year is the last one in school and I must do awesome, but I can't study. I know… like "Wow, that's new!"… I know that everyone feels like this, but I don't really know… In my mind it is like, it's only me, cause I see the others being happy and not saying anything. My "friends" can't do anything, even when I try to talk to them, nothing. It's like I didn't say a thing. I see and hear about other people and how they have a BFF and I'm like "Does that even exist anymore?!".
That's it for today. Gotta go try to study… Sorry if I brought you down with my problems. Until the next time… "
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