I'm back! And better than ever, of course. This is my first lengthy Harry Potter fic! Yay! Wish me luck. Pure humor and insanity included. And I'm not doing the French accent because I'm too lazy.

DISCLAIMER

If I owned Harry Potter, Neville would be the chosen one, Fred wouldn't have died, and unicorns would save the day. Now, do you want the ALL of those things to be true? Didn't think so. Also, I only own Hailey.

We're too Pretty to Punish

Chapter One-Birthdays and Greasy Hair

Fleur POV

"Hey, Fleur. Hey, Fleur. Hey, Fleur. He-" My dearest friend, my first non-family friend, Hailey Scott, poked me.

"What?" I asked the fourth-year Ravenclaw.

"I have a list. I found it on the internet. It tells us how to bother Snape! Can we do it, Fleur, huh? Huh? Can we?" Hailey was like a green-eyed, black-haired puppy. She stuck out her lip at me. I sighed.

"Fine. What's first?" I peered over her shoulder as she scanned the list. Her eyes brightened and she pointed to something.

Leave him invitations to Sirius Black's 'birthday party at the Whomping Willow'

I stared at my friend, who was smiling quite evilly. She shoved the list in my hands and ran off. She returned swiftly with red sparkle paper and a silver marker. She folded the paper and turned it so it opened upwards. On the front, she wrote:

YOU (Yes, you, you frigging twit) are invited to a really, really, really, really, really, really, awesome party!

Hailey opened the card and started writing again.

Dear Professor S. Snape,

You are invited to attend Sirius Black's birthday party at the Whomping Willow. From 11:00pm to 1:00 am on the night of the full moon.

Love always,

Harry Potter

"Why Harry?" I questioned. He was alright. I mean, he did cheat into the Triwizard Tournament, but…

"Whoops. I meant Malfoy. Oh well!" She shifted into her animagus, a lamb. She was much faster when on four legs, rather than two. I sat there for a few minutes before she returned, smiling very broadly.

Eleven at night-Shrieking Shack

We stood in the Shrieking Shack, waiting. Hailey had stolen Harry Potter's invisibility cloak. I tried to protest, but that was difficult, as she threw a fit telling me I'm no fun. Of course I'm fun. I'm Fleur Delacour.

Here comes Snape.

"Hope you had a crappy birthday, Black." Snape sneered at Peter Pettigrew, Remus Lupin, and Sirius, of course.

"Why the hell are you here, Snivellus?"

"I was-AHHHHHHHHH!!" One of the men turned into a werewolf! He bit Snape! I glared at Haley.

"It wasn't supposed to get this far." She whispered. We swiftly walked out of the small building. We ran to the Ravenclaw common room and I slid out of the cloak.

"Okalie-Dokalie, Fleur! Wanna read the list again? Huh? Huh? Do ya? Do ya?" She pulled the folded list out of her pocket.

"Haven't we tortured the poor man enough, Hailey?" I pleaded using my eyes only. I added a bit of a frown for good measure.

"No. Fleur, Snape has tortured me for three effing years. I think he needs more than one frigging werewolf bite."

"Ok." I said simply. When that girl gets in your face, you should comply with whatever she wants. She scanned the list, searching for the next way to torment her poor professor. Hailey told me there were more than four hundred items on the list. We can't possibly do all of them, can we?

"Ok. This works for me, but I wanna change it a bit." I moved closer to me completely mental best friend. "It tells us to charm his hair into dreadlocks. Now, I'll just grab my trusty swan quill pen, and change this to 'Charm his hair into dreadlock while he sleeps.' More fun, no?" Hailey re-folded her list and stuck it back into her pocket. She covered us in Harry's still stolen cloak and we made our way to Snipe's quarters.

I gently pushed the door open. He really should lock it as a protection from the mentally ill and their half-Veela friends. Hailey pulled out her wand and muttered "Dreadlockious Snappiecus!' The ugly man's hair twirled around and around until it was and mess of tight, greasy-well you know.

It was now two in the morning. We slid back out the door and into Ravenclaw Tower. Hailey shed the cloak and dropped it on the floor. I had gotten permission from Madame Maxime to stay in Ravenclaw Tower at night, so I had nothing to worry about. Hailey made no move to get the cloak back to its owner.

"Are you not going to take the cloak bake to Harry?" I knew she was a rule breaker, much like those terrifying Weasley boys, but she had some morals in her, deep, deep, down.

"No. We're going to need it tomorrow night." She wriggled her eyebrows at me. I shook my head at the poor girl.

The next morning-Hallway

That Potter boy was walking around, looking under benches and behind decorations. I wonder what he's doing.

"Hi Fleur, Hailey," Harry came to us, still looking worried, "have either of you seen my invisibility cloak? I seemed to have misplaced it…" He trailed off. My eyes widened. I had no idea what to say. I'd never lied in my life, what was I supposed to do?

"No." Hailey said quickly, dragging me with her. We ended up in a corner.

"I have a plan for the next thing for our precious Snappie. I've altered the wording a bit, but it'll be so much more fun this way." Hailey smiled evilly at me.

What's gonna happen next? What method of torture do you want to be used on Snape next? Review! Can I have two reviews for chapter two please? To see the full list, there's a link on my profile.