'It doesn't bother you, does it?' the dwarf asked gruffly. He was watching the elf's slender back as his friend looked out across the sea. They had stopped their hors for a rest on the way to Minas Tirith. Aragorn was waiting.
'Not as much as I thought it would,' the elf said simply.
Gimli grunted and turned towards their steed to give it some water. Truthfully, he was worried sick about the elf, he was definitely suffering by staying in Middle-Earth. But you never know how much he's suffering! Gimli thought to himself.
xxx
Legolas ignored the dwarf's grunt and continued to stare at the rising and falling waves. It had been the truth, what he had told Gimli. He himself had pictured going mad with the urge to sail, but the thought of his friends was probably keeping him sane. But the urges he did have made him feel hopeless and shameful. He found himself wishing that his grief could be put into words.
xxx
The king stood by the White Tree, forcing himself not to show his impatience. It had become a regular routine over the past years after all. Legolas visited Gimli for a month, they ride to Minas Tirith to spend time together as old friends and them Gimli would go back to his peoples' land, leaving the elf and the king to rebind their friendship. Then he goes and disappears for a year and it starts all over again. Aragorn thought bitterly.
For many long moments he stood deep in thought, he didn't even realise the castle choir starting the midday songs… Until that voice started singing. Immediately, Aragorn came out of his trance and walked as far away from the Hall as possible. He had enough troubling thoughts on his mind without thinking about that sad, sad voice.
xxx
'It's about time!' Aragorn growled sternly, watching Legolas as he slid off the horse.
Legolas merely smile faintly and help Gimli dismount. The reason they were so late was because he had lost track of time whilst staring at the sea. Thought he wasn't about to tell the impatient looking king that.
'It's good to see you too, Mellon Nin (my friend),' Legolas grinned more widely and clasped Aragorn's shoulder. The angered face melted away and was replaced by an even wider grin. He clasped Legolas's opposite shoulder before leading them into the Hall. The Hall had hardly changed since Legolas had last seen it; the only change was a couple of benches placed in a far corner.
'Arwen asked to have a choir placed in the Hall,' Aragorn answered the elf's unasked question.
'Is it going well?' Legolas asked the king politely. Choirs that were found in the Elven realms had been used for mourning as well as celebration.
'Our choirs are used to sing our son to sleep when neither of us can.' Legolas continued to stare at the benches; maybe if he heard the choir sing his pain would be lessened.
'Do you want to see your chambers or eat first?' Aragorn asked.
'I think I'll go to my chambers,' said Legolas, avoiding his friends' stares. Gimli made a small noise of protest, but Aragorn quickly told a page boy to lead the elf to his room. Legolas nodded to the man and dwarf before following the child.
xxx
Gimli sat at the table, eating the bread he had been served, he hardly noticed anything around him. Yet he knew Legolas still hadn't joined them.
'Should we worry about him?' he asked gruffly across the table where Aragorn was sitting. He didn't need to ask what the dwarf was talking about.
'All we can do is stand behind him as friends,' he said quietly.
xxx
It was almost midnight. Legolas sat on the edge of his bed, hands pressed to his forehead. He didn't want to sleep. He couldn't sleep. If he slept, he would have dreams of the sea and the ships. He didn't want to suffer that; not when he was with his friends.
The elf sighed and stood up; a drink of water would calm him down. Getting off the bed and making his silent way across the room, Legolas peeked out the door. Looking down the halls he couldn't see or hear a single soul. Soft as a shadow, he headed to the kitchens.
xxx
Aragorn sat in his chair by the window, the moon shone on his face. If he knows Legolas he would probably be finding some water in the kitchen to calm his night anxieties. The king wanted to give his friend a little peace, but what he was about to do… He didn't know what affect it would have on the elf.
So as not to wake Arwen, Aragorn quietly slipped into the hall to speak with the sentries outside. 'Go and wake Bilend-Pen,' he told the men. They looked questionably at the king, but bowed and left to fulfill his orders.
'Please, mellon,' Aragorn whispered to himself, 'let this help both of you.'
xxx
Pillars of marble shone in the gloom in front of Legolas's eyes. Gondor was such a grand place, even at night. For a single moment, Legolas wondered what buildings could be found across the sea. That moment was all it took. The elf's chest constricted and the longing he had been feeling for so long burst through his heart.
Legolas gripped his chest tightly and fell to his knees beside a pillar. Thoughts spun through his mind like a top. What had his father felt about him staying? How would his friends feel if he left now? He forced himself not to weep tears and cry in fury at the same time.
Then there it was: grief. It was pure, sad and clear. It rang through the Hall like a thousand church bells. Legolas looked up, how could his emotions flow through the hall like this? Then he hears it properly, a voice…
When all comes to last
And the shadow gives a grin
Then we know that evil wins
Can't you hear them cry?
The wings they flap
My arrow snaps
Many tears have fallen
Yet the ghosts battle on
They won't stop 'til the king has won
What my unseen eyes tell
Only show that they have fell
Even after it had faded away, every word echoed in the elf's head. What could have made a voice so beautiful yet heart wrenching? Standing up and peering around the marble slabs, Legolas saw someone standing at the far end of the Hall. They stood in a pool of moonlight that was coming through a high window. Legolas walked cautiously down towards the figure. They were small, it looked like a child, but how could a child sing like that. By now he was only a gauntlet's through away from the stranger, but he still couldn't see their face properly.
'You must be Legolas Thranduilon,' the stranger spoke and he was almost certain it was a girl. 'Very pleased to meet you, I am Bilend-Pen.'
Legolas stared at the girl, shocked. If he wasn't mistaken, Bilend-Pen was a mixture of old English and elfish. It meant Blind One. He gulped and spoke quietly. 'Why are you called that?' he asked. The girl turned and faced him; Legolas stifled a quick gasp. Her eyes were a misted, milky white and her skin was even whiter. It was like looking at a dead porcelain doll.
'I am called Bilend-Pen because my sight began to fade at an early age. It is also used to remind myself of my crime.' She said it with a cold voice; Legolas thought his insides had frozen.
'How could a name remind you of a crime?' Legolas wasn't sure if he wanted to hear the answer.
'It was because of my sight that my parents are dead.' With that, she turned to leave. She must have gotten used to walking around the castle blind, because she didn't hesitate or stumble at all.
'Wait,' Legolas cried after her, his voice echoed around the Hall, 'don't say such things about yourself-'
Bilend-Pen whirled around to face him. 'I was trained to become a shield-maid of Gondor, but when my eyes began to fade they said I could never protect the city...' The elf tried to speak, but she ranted on. 'During the battle of Gondor my father tried to protect my mother and me from the orcs. I tried to help, but I only had my bow. I thought I saw a Nazgul flying at us and I fired, but my sight had tricked me. My arrow hit my mother instead. My father was shocked by what I had done and didn't notice the orc behind him. He was struck down moments later.'
Bilend-Pen was breathing deeply as though she had run a mile. After a while, Legolas noticed her eyes were streaming with tears.
'Don't say I have no reason to feel guilty. If I hadn't raised my bow, none of this would have happened.' Again she tried to turn away, but Legolas ran a few paces forward and caught her wrist. He expected her to shake him off, instead she just froze. Her face was hidden in the shadows.
'It may be something you regret,' Legolas murmured cautiously, 'but allowing grief to control you can black what really matters in life.'
'What matters…?' Bilend-Pen whispered. 'Nothing matters, except that it was my fault-'
'Enough,' Legolas said firmly, 'you are young; you have time to make up for your sin. Brooding over grief only clouds the future…' He stopped suddenly. He was talking like a hypocrite! Brooding over grief… What had he been doing for the past five years?
Shaking his head slightly, the elf let go of Bilend-Pen's wrist. The silence seemed to hurt his pointed ears, but he couldn't bring himself to break it. He needed to think of something to say.
'Five and a half years…' the human girl whispered, 'nothing but grief and anger and confusion…'
'Then let it all out,' Legolas said, 'scream. Feel the weight disappear. Scream with me, as if you were singing the loudest choir song of all.'
She turned, her face reflecting nothing but moonlight. They faced each other…
xxx
The moon was high now, had Bilend-Pen and Legolas helped each other yet? Sleep seemed so welcome, yet Aragorn had to be absolutely sure. Just as the king's eyes began to droop there was a sound. It was terrible. It tore at his heart not to mention his ears. Was it a Nazgul?
Everyone was awake and rushing to the Hall. Knights carried their spears and even servants held knives and pans. Yet the Hall was deserted. But Aragorn could tell that someone was near. He crept around a pillar and what he saw was even more surprising than a Nazgul.
Legolas and Bilend-Pen were crouched on the floor, arms clutched tightly around each other for support. They were sobbing into each other's shoulders. Aragorn sighed; there was still peace in the world. Now there were two more minds at peace.
xxx
Morning choir songs started like they always did. Only there was a different tone to them; instead of being clear yet sad, there was a crisp, light and carefree sound to it. Legolas paused outside his room. Bilend-Pen's voice had undergone such a transformation over the last couple of days. Aragorn had also pointed out that Legolas's elven glow had been shining brighter as well, but he modestly ignored this.
Gimli was to leave the next morning, and Legolas admitted that he would miss the dwarf more than ever. Having your entire attitude change overnight made you realise how much things meant to you. Breathing deeply, the elf took off down the corridor. Light streamed into the stone fortress, giving everything a beautiful glow.
'Legolas!' a voice cried. Bilend-Pen was standing at the end of the passage, Arwen was guiding her along. Evidently she had told the girl that he was there.
'Hello,' he responded as they came closer, 'I heard your singing. I've never heard anything purer.'
'You flatter me,' Bilend-Pen smiled. If her voice had changed, it was nothing compared to her appearance. A silk cloth had been wrapped around her eyes block her white gaze, her tattered robes she had worn before had been replaced with a beautiful shield-maiden gown and a warmer and pleasant color had entered her face.
'I wanted to thank you again for all you have done for me,' she blushed slightly. 'Oh, I also meant to tell you… My real name is actually Field Flower and I was … wondering if you knew what it meant in Elvish.' She blushed even more.
'Whatever your name is, you will always be the one who saved me,' Legolas said.
