24 Ways To Torture Your Partner At Christmas

1: Claim you were a Christmas tree in your former life. If s/he tries to bring one into the room, scream bloody murder and thrash on the floor.

Pairing: Kaito x Aoko

Words: 389

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"No! Noooooo!"

Aoko took a deep, calming breath, then slowly turned to pin her boyfriend with a glare. This was hard, because he was curled up behind the couch, jerking and screaming.

"Kaito," she said carefully, "care to explain to me why you're having a fit on the floor instead of helping me lug this Christmas tree in? It's really big, you know."

"Aoko, how could you?!" he cried, rolling around onto his back to stare tearfully at her (upside-down). "You… murderer!"

Aoko raised an eyebrow. "Come again? Look, if this is about the gingerbread man, you know I didn't make them just for you to eat them all…"

"No, it's not about the gingerbread men," he whimpered, "though those were my cookies…" she narrowed her eyes and he gulped. "But don't you know? I was a fir tree in a former life! Then I was slashed in the belly and stuck up in a human's living room like a stuffed animal! I was murdered! You…" he raised a shaking finger (still upside-down) and pointed it at her accusingly. "You just murdered a tree!"

Aoko wandered over and kicked him gently in the ribs, causing him to scream "Ah! Now you'll gut me too, I expect?" She rolled her eyes.

"Much as I'd like to, I can't get this in on my own," she said, "so get up. It's a plastic tree. We can reuse it and save money… and not "murder" any real trees." Kaito instantly perked up and was on his feet in an invisibly fast movement.

"You wonderful, kind woman!" he sang, giving her a kiss and dancing over to the tree.

"I thought I was a murderer?" she muttered, but blushed. He could still make her do that so easily…

As they were taking the tree through to the main room, she asked thoughtfully, "where'd you get the idea that you were a tree in a former life, anyway?"

"Koizumi told me," he said with a shrug. "She told Hakuba what he was, as well."

"Really?" Aoko asked curiously. "Careful! To your left! Anyway-what was he?"

Kaito seemed very focused on the tree for a moment, even as a wide, evil grin spread across his face. "Wellll… you know how I really, really wanted to eat all of those gingerbread men myself…?"

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Here's day 1 of my little digital advent calendar. This series of drabbles combines a silly list that I love with couples suggested by Karisama on DCTP, both crack and canon. One every day until Christmas, and then watch out for something rather special on the day! ^_-

Also, if you're a Touhou fan, please check out Pretztailfan95's new fanfiction, Encounters. It's worth a read!

I do not own Detective Conan or Magic Kaito. They belong to Aoyama Gosho, but won't you indulge in the spirit of peace and love and sharing and let me use them?