WARNING: Immaturity, SAVAGE character death, disturbing moments, random references and the utter destruction of the plot ahead.
NOT FOR THE FAINT OF HEART
IF YOU'RE A HARDCORE GWTW FAN AND LOVE THE PLOT AND CAN'T HANDLE CRACK FICS YOU SHOULD PROBABLY LEAVE.
THIS IS A CRACK FIC. LIKE FULL ON CRACK. NO JOKE.
Disclaimer: I own nothing.
This takes place during the last scene of the movie
Scarlett was distraught after she heard Rhett would be leaving and rushed down the stairs to try and sway his mind. Seeing him in her sights she mentally sighed in relief, but she knew it wouldn't be that easy.
"Rhett, "she cried breathlessly, "Rhett!"
Coming to a stop next to him she continued, "Rhett, if you go, where shall I go, what shall I do?"
She looked into his eyes pleadingly, hoping to find sympathy where there was not. Rhett stared hard back at her, almost questioning his decision for one split second, but he held firm when he thought of how much he had lost to her.
"Frankly my dear, I don't give a damn." And with that Rhett walked into the mist, it seemed as if he had walked out of her life forever.
Scarlett's head bowed in all her turmoil. As she slowly lifted her chin out of her self-pity Scarlett's determination sparked once more.
Scarlett clung to the door, both heartbreak and hope evident in her voice, "I can't let him go, I can't, there must be some way to bring him back."
"oh I-I can't think about this now, I-I'll go crazy if I do. I'll think about it tomorrow." Trying to gather herself Scarlett shut the door and drifted back inside the mansion, but it wasn't helping in the least, she allowed her tears to soak the handkerchief," but I must think about it, I must think about it, what is there to do?"
Scarlett reached the stairs and crumpled over them, "what is there that matters?" She asked no one.
It was then that she heard her father's voice, out of the darkness in her almost empty life there was a bright hope, she realised. Her head rose again in her new found hope, realisation clear on her visage.
"Tara," she whispered softly, tenderly almost.
"Home, I'll go home and I'll think of some way to get him back...yes that's right I'll go home and think about this tomorrow…after all, tomorrow…is another da-
"Yesterday you said tomorrow, so JUST DO IT, MAKE YOUR DREAMS COME TRUE!"
Scarlett started and spun around tripping over the stairs and scrambling back onto her feet in all her haste. Who could have possibly gotten in?
"JUST...DO IT!"
Scarlett wiped any remaining tears and tried to speak.
"Who are you and how di-
"Some people dream success while you're gonna work HARD AT IT! NOTHING IS IMPOSSIBLE!"
His voice drowned hers out, she tried calling out to anyone, but it seemed as if everyone had left her.
"YOU SHOULD GET TO THE POINT WHERE ANYONE ELSE WOULD QUIT AND YOU'RE NOT GONNA STOP THERE!...Don't let your dreams be dreams...NO! WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR!?"
Scarlett watched in slight horror and disbelief as the man pointed his finger at his right hand and-
"DO IT!" He angrily looked at her and stormed across the room. She tried backing away but it was no use, he was too fast. Slapping her in the face he yelled once again, with as much passion as Eren killing titans or Naruto becoming Hokage or Tsuna in HDWM. Or that one Swedish guy Felix, with so much fabulous he could make a man gay.
"JUST DO IT, YES YOU CAN!" this he said with a little less enthusiasm," JUST DO IT..."
Scarlett lay prone on the ground and stared up at him as he shuffled to the left a bit and wiped at his lips.
"If you're tired of starting over? Stop. Giving. Up." His eyes held a strange resolution she had never seen in a man before.
When she thought he was done she spoke once more.
"Who are you? Get out of thi-"continuing on with her one sided and very heated investigation, she ignored the sound of doors creaking as she watched him squat a little and place his hands closer to his thighs," and don't think you'll get away with -
"DO IT!"
*BANG BANG*
Rhett Butler came crashing in and tackling Shia LaBeouf to the floor. Shia LaBeouf was a more modern fighter however and tasered Rhett Butler. He got up off the floor to continue his motivational speech but stopped dead in his tracks. His left eye twitched slightly at (what he thought was) his fan's prone form.
"I...I missed." He heard a soft mutter.
Shia LaBeouf watched as the older male limped across the floor to the downed woman.
"Oh, Scarlett I thought I heard a noise I-I tried to-to get to you. I only wanted to help-" but it was too late Scarlett O'Hara was dead, done for, gone with the wind. Murdered by her own husband, no less.
"YOU!" Rhett spun around to face the other man in his misery. He wouldn't let him get away, not now. Rhett looked to the foreign weapon the other man was holding wearily. Suddenly he heard strange...music? He looked to a dark corner in the room where another man emerged from the shadows.
*You're walking in the woods. There's no one around and your phone is dead.*
As people kept appearing and talking Rhett Butler - first time in his life - questioned his sanity wholeheartedly.
*Out of the corner of your eye you spot him*
*Shia LaBeouf*
There was a pause and Rhett's heart froze in fear.
*He's following you 'bout thirty feet back.*
The other man grew a mad look in his eye and grinned a grin so gruesome it leaked a foul smell. Or was that just the body of Scarlett's rotting corpse? He shook his head to rid of that thought while the strange music continued.
*He's gaining on you*
*Shia LaBeouf*
A woman said behind him and he yelled and stumbled forward. The other man took a step closer. Rhett couldn't take his eyes off of him, but he also didn't have it within him to run.
*He's almost upon you now. And you can see...*
Rhett looked into the other man's eyes, hoping to find something human.
*There's blood on his face*
Rhett felt hands on him as he saw the blood, it was horrifying. The blood looked as if it was seeping into his very pores.
*My God, there's blood everywhere!*
And very faintly he realised there was indeed blood everywhere, over the walls, chairs, tables, the floor, the people...the stairs. But there was no scarlett, not even her bod- He looked back to this Shia LaBeouf and literally screamed, for in his blood stained hand was Scarlett's head her body parts strewn across the room. He watched in shock and disgust as Shia LaBeouf bit into her cheek.
"You'll be next." He heard him whisper.
*Lurking in the shadows*
*Hollywood superstar Shia LaBeouf*
Rhett tried to move, move, MOVE. Finally he broke FREE of his stupor and pushed past the (ghosts he decided) musicians to the second floor.
*Killing for sport(Shia LaBeouf)*
*Eating all the bodies*
Actual Cannibal Shia LaBeouf*
Rhett hid in the children's nursery and waited, for what? he didn't know.
*Now it's dark, and you seem to have lost him*
*But you're hopelessly lost yourself*
Rhett closed his eyes as the music got closer.
*Stranded with a murderer*
He wanted to almost laugh at the accurate song they played for him.
He heard the music go past him and rushed out the room, to the front entrance. In a drawer he pulled out his revolver and heard the music come back to him slowly.
*Gnawing off your leg (quiet, quiet)*
*(quiet, quiet) now you're on the door step*
Rhett hid in the darkest corner of the room and waited, this time in anticipation.
*you're sneaking up behind him*
He saw the other man rush down the stairs and Rhett shot at his heart with all the precision of an expert gunman.
*Stab it in his kidney*
*Safe at last from Shia LaBeouf*
Rhett watched the man fall to his death down the stairs and ran for the door, for freedom. Relief flooded him as he pulled it open and escaped into the mist.
*You limp into the dark woods*
*Blood oozing from your stump leg*
Rhett sniffed at the false accusation he heard and continued out.
*You've beaten Shia LaBeouf*
Suddenly he heard extra footsteps in the mist the music continued to follow him.
*Wait he isn't dead! Shia surprise!*
Rhett let out a groan of dismay. Swinging around, he came face to face with the barrel of a gun.
*There's a gun to your head and death in his eyes*
*but you can do Jiu jitsu*
Rhett spun quickly and grabbed his gun.
*Body slam superstar Shia LaBeouf*
*Normal Tuesday night for Shia LaBeouf*
Rhett was breathless now, he couldn't keep up with younger folks anymore.
*He's dodging every swipe, he parries to the left*
Shia LaBeouf brought out his Taser again and got Rhett in the stomach. He stole his gun back and shot Rhett in both his legs. Shia LaBeouf rammed the gun into Rhett's mouth pushing him back. He looked Rhett in the eye.
*You fall to your knees and catch your breath*
"Now, say my name."
Rhett shook uncontrollably.
"SAY IT!" He moved the gun away for a bit to hear better.
"Sh-Shia LaBeouf" He muttered.
"What's that?" he put his free hand to his ear," I can't hear you~"
"Shia LaBeouf." He said louder.
Shia LaBeouf leaned in close and said in an undertone.
"You're God damn right."
*You're finally safe from-
Unexpectedly he stopped. Rhett looked up in hope, only to be discouraged when the man turned back to the musicians to say-
"Nobody's safe from Shia tonight."
*BANG*
And without turning back to his fresh kill Shia LaBeouf set him on fire.
Only to say...
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"Well...I wonder how Optimus and Bee are doing? And where did I put that mic?" He looked around him in confusion, searching his person. Growing tired of waiting, a musician handed him her mic. He took it gratefully.
"Ahh yes, thank you."
"And thus the ending of Scarlett and Rhett butler was never meant to be a happy one, but no-
Suddenly the mic was stolen by an old white man, wearing a hoodie and sunnies.
"Fuck'er right in the pussy."
Shia's face grew with anger as he watched the old man chuck the mic to a Middle Eastern looking man. He started to advance when the old man took off in a rocket ship zooming through the sky, with the words 'LITTLE EINSTEIN' printed on it. He watched in slow motion as the Middle Eastern man's lips moved.
"Allahu Akbar."
*BOOM*
And that was the day all of Atlanta was destroyed.
Not even the old man escaped.
Out in the distance the echo of one Ace Ventura's voice could be heard.
"Well, AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAALRIGHTY THEN!"
IF YOU MADE IT THIS FAR YOU DESERVE A MEDAL