Equius was invited to spend the afternoon at Nepeta's hive. He thought he would take her up on it, considering he had just finished manufacturing his latest version of robots to wrestle with. Also, she needed to be protected. Surely a troll of such a small size could not defend herself from any truly threatening adversaries, he thought. Although, Nepeta knew as well as he did that this was just a mere excuse to be with her.
Upon his arrival, he received a forceful tackle pounce from the olive blooded cat lady he called his moirail as soon as he closed the door. Nepeta then proceeded to gently kneed his tank top with her sharpened nails and purr, while Equius grew quite annoyed with the whole situation.
"*AC makes herself comfurrortable as she purrepares to cuddle with her meowrail*!" As Equius slowly tried to get back up, Nepeta just forced him back down with a tight hug. Had the door been still open, they both would have fallen off of the cliff that Nepeta insisted that she would live in. The reason for this can only be found in the twisted think pan of the playful shipping obsessed cat lady Nepeta was.
Equius' voice grew more stern as he got up, brushing her off. "Greetings, Nepeta, I see you are well. Although, I do order you to stop this tomfoolery immediately. I do not have time for such insipid games."
Nepeta grabbed his arm and lead him over to her shipping wall "Oh, spare me! You just got here, we have all day to have fun! Look Equius, I think you'll like this ship!" She dragged her seemingly annoyed friend to a cave wall covered crude drawings and pointed to one with Equius and Aradia holding their stick figure hands under the heart sign. Upon seeing this, Equius started shivering uncontrollably for a while. "Sit tight, Equius! I'll go get us some snacks. *AC scurries to the kitchen to fetch some cookies*!" Nepeta's exclamation faded the farther away she ran.
"N-Nepeta!" Equius yelled. "While your... at it, bring a towel at once!" Equius glared at the crude painting with his eyes peeking over his cracked sunglasses as if it were a glass of perfectly prepared milk with a drip of Feferi's blood in it. With this he began to sweat bullets and his shivers grew to straight up vibrations. "How... dare!," he muttered, "Nepeta even have the audacity to even dare drawing such a... lewd picture. How dare she associate such an indigo blood with a disgusting maroon carapace! Its mockery! That beautiful, beaconing carapace whose light effortlessly burns out the green sun itself... The one troll whose striking physical beauty is only rivaled by her own behavior and personality... I am... clearly unworthy... Her, of all trolls, imprisoned in a... sludge pumping factory of stomach turning maroon blood! It sickens me to extremes! D-Gyah! Oh my... I... really do need that towel now!" He turned to look into the kitchen to see what was taking her so long when Nepeta leaped up from behind him.
"You know Equius, I did hear all that!" Nepeta said playfully as her tail swished from side to side.
"Nepeta, your back. Did... did you bring that towel?" Equius jumped, his face flushed in indigo.
"I always have a towel ready furr you Equius, thats what meowrails are furr! So I was right, you ARE red for Aradia! *AC squeals to realize that this ship is cannon*!"
"Nepeta, I once again order you to stop your tomfoolery at once!" Equius grunted as he swiped the towel and dabbed it all over his forehead. Although, thanks to how much he was shivering, he did not do that much of a good job. It also did not help that Nepeta's entire face was invaded by smirk that read "I know your secret now~!" "If not, you can at least... edit this picture so that-"
"Oh yeah thats right!" Nepeta butted in. "The purricture IS all wrong! Silly me..." Equius sank back in a beanbag in relief, only to realize that it was Nepeta's lusus, Sir Pounce De Leon. Equius was about to apologize when the large beast purred in approval, allowing him to regain his comfort.
"Sorry about that Equius, I fixed it." Nepeta said with a smile, handing Equius a tall glass of milk. It had foam on top, just the way his lusus makes it; this pleased him greatly. "Say... Equius, how did you lose that horn of yours?"
No one ever bothered to ask him this before, so he had to think back to when he just grew from wriggler hood. "I suppose it all happened when I said something I should not have in my... youthful ignorance."
"Back then, I was not as STRONG as I am now. I saw the rustblood playing with his colorful cards and made a remark depicting his utter worthlessness! His lusus caught wind of this and charged straight at me to protect what little fictional honor his troll had. It was in my ignorant think pan that I could survive such a charge. I proceeded to deflect small musclebeast away from my face, but it knocked my fist into my own horn. I was then STRONGLY agitated about the pain that I was... enduring. My lusus was galloping over, only to have the filthy bull expose my actions. I was greatly upset that I had disappointed Aurthour. He grabbed my weakened horn, only to have me knock his hand away, for he only added to the pain. The act still haunts me with guilt to this day. Mind you, my horns were small, so they were STRONGLY sensitive. Irritated, my lusus firmly grabbed hold of my horn and dragged me back to the hive, only to have some stern words waiting for my inappropriate behavior. 'Twas then when he heard a blistering crack at his fingers. He looked at his hand to see that he had just mutilated his child. At this point I was in pain comparable only to that of experiencing one hundred musclebeasts stabbing at one's thinkpan repeatedly. The sheer pain is further indescribable." Nepeta handed him a warm cookie, and returned to prepare to listen to the rest of the story at the edge of her seat.
"Awww, Equius! What happened next!?" Sir Pounce De Leon purred with power, indicating that he as well wanted to hear the rest of the story.
With a gulp of his nearly perfect milk to wash down his cookie, Equius went on to continue. "Screaming and wallowing in my pain, Aurthour carried me on his shoulder back to the hive and tended my horn, making sure that I have learned my lesson: Only mock the unruly lowbloods when their lusus is not around." Sir Pounce De Leon muttered a low-pitched hiss when Equius said this and shifted position to make himself more comfortable, slightly irritated with Equius. "Unfortunately for me, I had a family portrait to attend, so there I was. Horuss and Darkleer both had their whole, majestic horns, while I showed up with mine crooked. The image of their disappointed faces still pose a gruesome mark in my mind to this day..."
"But, what happened to the horn itself?"
"Vriska has it"
"Vriskers? Why her?"
"I too inquired Vriska on the reason why she desired the tip of my horn. As an answer, she told me that it was needed for a special ritual involving childish witchcraft and black magic. I did not pay much heed to her words, however."
"Wow... I'll need to ask her about it."
With some more acts of this "irreconcilable" tomfoolery that Equius endured from his pale companion taking up the day, Equius realized he had to make his leave.
"Equius, you better get going. You know how it is during night! Ough..."
"Although the day's events were disturbingly foolish and unnecessary, I do have to admit I am sad to make my leave. Behave yourself now." When on his way to the door, his eye wandered to the shipping wall that Nepeta was supposed to fix. The only thing different was the missing horn!
Equius left on his way back home, deftly doing away with any imp or beast that dare be in his way. Him and Nepeta immediately started pestering each other when he got back. Aurthour had a tall glass of foamy milk waiting for him. The two pestered the night away assessing the improperly edited ship as Equius noticed cerulean sparks of light erupt from Vriska's hive next door. What childish and twisted objective she's up to this time, he thought, will never quite be discovered until its too late. As always.
I always wondered what ever happened to Equius' horn, so I decided to share my own little theory along with writing a moiralagance ship, and NepetaxEquius seems easy enough for a first. I hope at least someone gets a good chuckle from this. I apologize if the characters are a little bland, Im not as much as a seasoned author as some other people on here. Although, I am skilled with drawing just any ship. Just look at the cover for Grell Gets A Stalker By SebbyNinja666 for proof. While Im at it, I might as well post a link to my Deviantart, since Im much more active there :P
Till next time, peace!