Chapter 1

Song – like a knife by secondhand serenade

All characters belong to the one and only Stephenie meyer… but the alternate plot is all me :D

BPOV

"You're no good for me" Edward said standing right across me shining with perfection, the sunlight beating down on his skin. I was paralyzed "I I I… you said you…you loved me... I still lo…:" I stuttered seeing how much this resembled a dream I had few days ago. I knew I was not good enough for him. I never had been or still am. I had been dreading this since the day I fell head over heels with him. I was always so scared that he was just going to realize it one day and then I would lose him. I had known it all along but it still brought pain, the most unbearable pain I have ever felt it pierced through my heart a perfect alternative to being stabbed repeatedly.

What am I, a mere mortal compared to the beautiful perfect vampire woman he could have. They could run and hunt with him instead of walking with him at slowest pace even known to man. They wouldn't need to hunt at night instead they could spend the whole night together without the sleeping factor sharing the most passionate and intimate of feelings like the rest of the family does instead of trying so hard to control the raw feelings constantly as to not hurt her, he would not need to waste time with so many human moments and so many other things could be avoided if he had a vampire mate.

"NO!" he exclaimed softly as if he were utterly bored and disgusted "Bella don't say it I don't want you to guilt me in to keeping you like I have doing this past year. I cannot be with you any longer. You're HUMAN! and my singer" he exclaimed with a dark chuckle "you were a fun pet to have I learnt a lot of self control thank you for that but I really got to leave now so bye bye" he said as he smirked at the pain I knew was attached on my face. It was as if I had been punched in the gut I could feel the weight on my shoulders as I slowly clutched my midriff trying to keep myself upright when my heart shattered leaving me gasping for breath. Just that moment I saw him slipping away into the darkness like grains of sand. "NOOOO…. Edward don't do this" I screamed lying on the damp forest floor sobbing trying to regulate my breath which were slowly faltering as the gaping hole in my chest widened further, just a minute later darkness clouded my mind and collapsed.

Slowly I opened my eyes again this time I was in the meadow but it looked horrible it was as if the life had been sucked out of it. The magical sight filled with the beautiful lake, the green pastures with the ever present sheet of dewdrops, the exotically beautiful array of flowers and the musky sweet scent of the area was gone. It was completely dry, the lake was just filled with mud, the pastures were brown the colored flowers all brown and withered and the scent was just horrible. As I slowly stood up I spotted Laurent. He looked at me in curiosity started asking me questions I could not process he mentioned words like "Cullen's", "gone", "kill", "you", "she's" and "coming". He then was right in front of me holding me by the neck the words suddenly processed in my head and I started squirming in his hands. "honey stop it's ok I will kill you quickly and you would not even feel it whereas Victoria would just kill so slowly torturing you till you beg of her to grant you death" then it happened the searing pain in my neck and the sights of red hair then a very familiar demonic smirk.

"NNNNNOOOOOOOOOO….." I screamed a blood curling scream as I jumped out of bed into Jacob's arms. "Hey you're ok you're fine I' am here I' am here…" the familiar face calmed me soothed me as his presence always does. "Bella, Bella what happened what was it this time?" he asked hugging me fiercely trying to defend me from those unseen. Slowly I returned his embrace and sobbed my story onto his shoulders. "Shhhh…. its ok honey I' am here and I promise I would not let anyone harm you, anyone" he repeated as a silent vow. I simply nodded and start to doze of into his enticing and warm chest.

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Adam Lambert - aftermath

BPOV

"Arghhhh…" I groaned as I woke up hearing Jake's ring tone blaring from my phone. I slowly answered the phone trying to rub the sleep out of my eyes.

"Hey Jake" I grumbled.

"Awwww… don't you sound just chirper?" he laughed.

"Seriously Jake what do you want I want to sleep its still…." I pushed my fallen bedside clock straight allowing me to see for how many hours he would receive my silent treatment.

"7.45….. SHIT! classes starts at 8" I screeched as I jumped out of bed "shit head rush!" I groaned diving back under the covers then I slowly stood up again trying to ignore the loud boisterous laughter I heard on the phone. I slowly ran down the steps unlocked the door for Jacob and ran to take a bath. I stepped into the shower and let the hot water relax my muscles. And I slowly let my mind wander. That fateful day had been not only the end of me and Edward it had also been a new beginning for me and Jacob. As Edward left I thought I would be alone in this world with a huge nail hammered into my chest adding to the weight I felt on my shoulders but I had someone, I had Jacob he was there that day searching for me in the woods as I searched for a long gone Edward. He had held me and taken me home to bed. He had told me how sorry he was and promised that he would always be there for me. Months after even though I pushed him away with my 'zombie' attitude as everyone called it he had always been there the more I pushed with hurtful words and unforgivable actions he would keep coming to me soothing me with his sweet words of hope and friendship. But he had let me wallow and that was exactly what I did I had wallowed and wallowed and wallowed but he never left me completely alone he had told me that he was a phone call away and he would not mind if I called him at ungodly hours but I had never taken up his offer I pushed everyone away for months.

But on the 6th month 22nd day at 7.37pm It finally struck me that I was hurting everyone around me. I had realized this because of Charlie, he had come home that day and as he entered the kitchen and took one look at the food at the table his weary expression grew shocked and had asked me if everything ok and the look of his face had hurt deeply. What a bad daughter had I been to have her father think there was something wrong if she made dinner. That had finally cracked me and that night I had raced to Jacob's house and collapsed in his arms sobbing and begging him to help me and that I was sorry for pushing him away all this time. From that day on he never once left my side for anything at all he helped me cope with my life step by step I created a new beginning. I changed my school to the one at the reservation and I made new friends like Kim, Leah, Emily, Claire, Rebecca and the gang of wolves excluding Sam and Paul who think its extremely inappropriate to befriend one of 'them' but Jacob never let me feel bad about it he always brushed it off and told me "Their too moody to be around anyway". A few weeks into my expanding friendship with Jacob I experienced his transformation at first hand it had happened when Jacob and me were in the theatre I had safely rushed him out of there to the forest and watched him change. I was finally living instead of existing I was trying my best to move on. Jake had slowly taken out the nail which was hammered into my heart but that single hole no matter how small it, still shows that I' am damaged. And there was only one person who could fix that and because he had vanished from the phase of the earth I would remain this way coping living my life with a damaged heart.

"Hey bells are you dead in there? Hurry up it's getting late!" Jake broke my thoughts as he knocked on the bathroom door snickering to himself.

"Coming… sorry" I hopped out of the cubicle and hurriedly dried my hair and put on a dark grey tank top, a black hoodie, skinny jeans and the Armani leather boots my mom had bought for me. I loved dark colors now I could not wear anything light it would contrast my moods terribly and it hurt my eyes. I never went with dark blue either because of him... I wore every other dark color though. I slowly skipped all the way down and ate the eggs and bacon Jacob had prepared for me.

"I don't get it why do even come here everyday? UNI is like 5 minutes from your house" I mused tapping my hand on the wooden table. We had just started at the University of Washington and so far it has been great. A year had passed since he had vanished from my life but till today my memories were afresh. They never faltered but I seemed to have contained them. I seemed to have kept them in a box with a huge Warning sign on it even though I still felt pain once in a while I would look out my window wishing he were there or walked to familiar places to remember him but I was fine.

"Awwww… can't I go to school with my best friend is it such a crime?" He pouted slightly hanging his head.

"Hey Hey fine I was just asking! your such a puppy"

"I'm not a puppy! I' am a wolf bella a huge, ferocious…"

"Cute, cuddly, googly eyed, fluffy, tame wolf" I ended the sentence

"Which is just as good as calling you a puppy,Right?"

"Arghhhh… take that back" he growled or whined I' am not sure which.

"Take what back?" I asked dismissively. He then launched across the sofa tickling me

"Take that back"

"Oh…oh….ok…..so…so ….sorr…sooorrrr….sorrry….sorry…I….take…It.….back" I squealed pushing him of me.

"Good ok let's go" called as he raced out pushing me back on to the couch as he raced out with a whoosh.

"Hey no fair"

"what can I say your so slow bells it's not my fault that you take bath as if this is the last one you're going to have for a year, eat as if you feel the need to be extra cautious with your digestion and walk slower than a snail because of your 2 left feet" he listed of one by one on his fingers.

"Whatever Jake I know you love me for it" I replied giving him playful nudge

"Ok miss Swan today's mode of transportation is a werewolf so if you be so kind as to walk to the forest we would be ready to depart" Jacob spoke like a professional guide as I giggled my way to the forest.

Right there he transformed in to the loving beast I know and love, his fur as silky as usual shining a radiant reddish color in the sun. I slowly sat on his back and hung on to his back as we left running whipping through the wind at a high speed. After 5 – 10 minutes we reached the clearing behind the university. I slowly laid clothes for Jake from my bag and walked to the front of school waiting for the rest of my friends.

Soon he came jogging out the fence like a small boy coming out of a candy shop with a bag full of goodies, his face was shining with the gullible ever present smile.

"Hey"

"Hey, come on the others are already here" Me, Leah, Kim, Jared, Jacob were in the same class and so we had a tight bond. Emily I used to see less of as Sam had forbid her to see me and Rebecca was also in a similar situation except I saw her at Jacob's sometimes. Quil, Embry, Seth and Claire were still completing senior year so we saw them when we hang out on the weekends .

"Hey you guys!" I waved them towards us

"Hey Bells!" Kim skipped first pulling me into a hug

"I missed you…" she chirped as she gave me a kiss on the cheek.

"Awwww…. Kim I missed you too! Don't worry we'll see more of each other when I finish the renovations of the apartment day after!" I cheered completely ecstatic to be moving in closer to my friends and moving out of Charlie's .

"Finally! Thank god you're getting that apartment I finally can hang there again when Leah kicks me out with her silly mood swings" Jacob winced as if remembering something painful.

"What was that sweetie"

"…...Nothing…"

"Huh?"

"Nothing really..."

'I thought so!"

"Hey bells how are you?" she greeted her face softening

"I' am great!"

"Are your nightmares still bothering you dear?" she asked. Leah was the only one who knew about my nightmares other than Jake and she has been very considerate. She was a big sister to me and she was also very protective of me.

"Yeah they are still there but less. I' am having it only thrice a week now" I gave her a small smile. Suddenly I was swooped up and was being twirled.

"Jaaarrreeeddd put me down" I giggled

"Belllaaaaaa I missed you how was your week-end?" He asked finally putting me down.

"It was great Charlie had come over and he looked over the newly renovated apartement" I replied

"Awwww that was so sweet... did he put nanny camera's too?" Jared asked pouting

"Arghhhh..." I groaned as he kept speaking in a baby language.

"Whatever" I dismissed as looped my hands through Leah and Kim's and walked too class.

"Hey don't forget about the band's first show this Friday" Jared fleetingly exclaimed.

"Sure would not miss it for the world" I retorted as I entered the building. Jared, Jacob, Jared's cousin Dean Vincent Blair, Jacob's classmate Chase Hayden Lawrence the absolute cutie who had swooped me of my feat on Christmas and Rebecca had started a band and they were having their first performance this Friday and we were all so excited for them. They had practiced so hard for this.

"Hey bells what are you wearing for Friday?" Kim asked

"Ummmm… the usual" I answered cautiously

"WHAT?" Leah and Kim screeched

"Are you mad you just can wear 'the usual' seriously we represent the band too ya know and we have to keep the skanks away from our boys and…"

"You gotta look better for Chase" Leah added squealing along with Kim.

"OMG! Guys we are just friends..."

"Hmmmm… yeah totally friends didn't you see him? He could not stop staring at you on Christmas and that unexpected rendezvous with him did not seen so friendly ! And your eyes go all googly when you watch him its soooo obvious you like him" Kim argued singing out the obvious.

"And you cannot deny his arms and that face they are just too dreamy to give up on. I mean god! he is like sugar & spice. If it weren't d\for Jacob" Leah sighed dreamily

"I dunno... I really don't know how to act and all since I have been 'off the market' for so long." I winced.

"Arghhhh… that's why we" she gestured to herself and Kim "are here to help you come back in a blast!"

"Please please please" Kim pleaded with her pouty lips and watery eyes.

"Fine fine fine I' am in"

"Yay!" they squealed tugging me to class.

Days went by slowly with Kim and Leah practically living with me as we fished out magazines one after the other. They thought me how to flirt, and they made me do quizzes and so many other ridiculous things. They even offered to take me to a gay bar for me to practice kissing but I had to decline right there. I could not go kissing gays. Hmmmm…. Yeah nooo… so not my thing. On Wednesday I officially shifted back to my newly modified apartment in Seattle. We had a lot of fun celebrating it with martinis and vodka's watching the cheesiest movie's ever. I loved my girls they were the best sister's anyone could have. On Thursday we went shopping for outfits and found outfits which would turn heads. We were so restless for Friday we were practically bubbling with the intense feeling of excitement. But no one really expected what happened the day after.

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Comments? Love it or hate it post it :P… next chapter out in about 2 weeks.. cya