~*scene: Padawan class room #109*~
(Obi-wan and his new padawan Anakin enter the classroom full of animated paper planes and lightsaber fights)
Obi: Cease this playing! This room is for learning not fun!
(Everyone ignores him and Obi gets hit in the forehead with a spit wad)
Anakin: Hey dudes! Sup? Listen, we gotta listen to the teach so we can get outta here quicker. Comrades?
(Everyone is silent and looks attentively at Obi)
Obi: *clears his throat* today class, we are going to learn about health.
Class in General: SEX ED?!
Obi: *glares* if that's what you miscreants call it, then yes, Sex Ed.
Everyone: WHOO! You got any visual aids?
Obi: shut up.
Everyone: *shuts up*
(Door opens and everyone looks)
Obi: Ahh! Here is our guest speaker now!
(Yoda enters)
Everyone: *gasp*
Yoda: teach you about sexual relations, I will.
Everyone: *screams in terror*
Anakin: Master Obi-wan? Do you think this was a good idea?
Obi: Master Yoda insisted on teaching the class. Now shush.
Yoda: Be quiet you will. Have holos, I do.
(Yoda pulls out a holo projector and presses play)
(Everyone watches in shocked silence)
Yoda: put in wrong holo, I have!
Obi: *is clawing at his eyes* Turn it off! Turn it off!
(Anakin in sitting in a corner rocking back and forth)
Annie: Brain. dirty. images.
Everyone: Dear lord save us! *chaos ensues*
(Yoda turns off his Vacation holo)
Yoda: Sorry, I am.
Everyone: Please! Don't turn it on again!
Yoda: turn it on, I won't. But need example we do.
(Yoda uses Jedi mind trick on Obi-wan, who begins to do a strip tease)
Everyone: AHHH!
Annie: Master! Stop! Please!
Yoda: Mind trick stop, will not.
All Female students: Shake it, Obi!
Obi: *strip dancing to imaginary music*
Annie: Master!
Yoda: Sorry, I am.
(Female students use mind trick on Anakin, who starts dirty dancing with Yoda)
Male Students: AHHH!
Female Students: *giggle* Shake that thang, Annie!
Annie: Ahh! Stop it! I'm dirty dancing with Yoda! Help me!
Obi: *is in his boxers and swinging on the fire escape pole*
Female student #1: maybe we should let him stop
Female student #2: Nah. This is so much fun!
Female Student #1: You're right! But shouldn't we help Master Yoda stop Obi from stripping to the full Monty?
Female Student #2: *whispers in #1's ear*
Female Student #1: I do -not- talk in my sleep!
Male Student #1: I feel sorry for Anakin.
Female Student #2: wanna join him?
Male Student #1: I withdraw that statement.
(Mace Windu enters)
Mace: What's going on here?!
Female Student #3: Nothing! We were just.umm. conducting an experiment!
Mace: What is Obi-Wan doing?
Female Student #3: He's. uhh.. Demonstrating!
Mace: In his boxers?! All of you! Detention!
(Students whisper to each other, then mind trick Mace)
Mace: I have the sudden urge to dress in a purple dress and do the hula *does so*
Male Student #2: This is great!
Mace: Just wait! If I had my purple lightsaber.
(General snickers from all corners)
Anakin: HELP ME!
(Students take pity on him, and make him do the tango with Obi)
Anakin: I don't know how to Tango!
Obi: Neither do I! And I'm still in my boxers!
Anakin: AHH! The author has put us at her every whim!
Obi: NOO! She is a well known Slash fan! AHHH!
(Obi and Annie start snogging because I'm the author and I say so)
All Female students: I KNEW IT!
All male students: ewww.
Mace: Master Obi-wan! That is not proper conduct! *is still hula dancing in a purple skirt and coconuts*
(All the students are doubled over with laughter)
(The mind Tricks suddenly stop working)
Yoda: time limit, there is.
(Obi and Anakin jump away from each other and wipe their mouths and spit)
Obi and Annie: Ewww.
Mace: Where the hell did I get these clothes?!
Male student #4: You were wearing them under your uniform.
Mace: Eh-heh.
Obi: CLASS DISMISSED!
(Obi-wan and his new padawan Anakin enter the classroom full of animated paper planes and lightsaber fights)
Obi: Cease this playing! This room is for learning not fun!
(Everyone ignores him and Obi gets hit in the forehead with a spit wad)
Anakin: Hey dudes! Sup? Listen, we gotta listen to the teach so we can get outta here quicker. Comrades?
(Everyone is silent and looks attentively at Obi)
Obi: *clears his throat* today class, we are going to learn about health.
Class in General: SEX ED?!
Obi: *glares* if that's what you miscreants call it, then yes, Sex Ed.
Everyone: WHOO! You got any visual aids?
Obi: shut up.
Everyone: *shuts up*
(Door opens and everyone looks)
Obi: Ahh! Here is our guest speaker now!
(Yoda enters)
Everyone: *gasp*
Yoda: teach you about sexual relations, I will.
Everyone: *screams in terror*
Anakin: Master Obi-wan? Do you think this was a good idea?
Obi: Master Yoda insisted on teaching the class. Now shush.
Yoda: Be quiet you will. Have holos, I do.
(Yoda pulls out a holo projector and presses play)
(Everyone watches in shocked silence)
Yoda: put in wrong holo, I have!
Obi: *is clawing at his eyes* Turn it off! Turn it off!
(Anakin in sitting in a corner rocking back and forth)
Annie: Brain. dirty. images.
Everyone: Dear lord save us! *chaos ensues*
(Yoda turns off his Vacation holo)
Yoda: Sorry, I am.
Everyone: Please! Don't turn it on again!
Yoda: turn it on, I won't. But need example we do.
(Yoda uses Jedi mind trick on Obi-wan, who begins to do a strip tease)
Everyone: AHHH!
Annie: Master! Stop! Please!
Yoda: Mind trick stop, will not.
All Female students: Shake it, Obi!
Obi: *strip dancing to imaginary music*
Annie: Master!
Yoda: Sorry, I am.
(Female students use mind trick on Anakin, who starts dirty dancing with Yoda)
Male Students: AHHH!
Female Students: *giggle* Shake that thang, Annie!
Annie: Ahh! Stop it! I'm dirty dancing with Yoda! Help me!
Obi: *is in his boxers and swinging on the fire escape pole*
Female student #1: maybe we should let him stop
Female student #2: Nah. This is so much fun!
Female Student #1: You're right! But shouldn't we help Master Yoda stop Obi from stripping to the full Monty?
Female Student #2: *whispers in #1's ear*
Female Student #1: I do -not- talk in my sleep!
Male Student #1: I feel sorry for Anakin.
Female Student #2: wanna join him?
Male Student #1: I withdraw that statement.
(Mace Windu enters)
Mace: What's going on here?!
Female Student #3: Nothing! We were just.umm. conducting an experiment!
Mace: What is Obi-Wan doing?
Female Student #3: He's. uhh.. Demonstrating!
Mace: In his boxers?! All of you! Detention!
(Students whisper to each other, then mind trick Mace)
Mace: I have the sudden urge to dress in a purple dress and do the hula *does so*
Male Student #2: This is great!
Mace: Just wait! If I had my purple lightsaber.
(General snickers from all corners)
Anakin: HELP ME!
(Students take pity on him, and make him do the tango with Obi)
Anakin: I don't know how to Tango!
Obi: Neither do I! And I'm still in my boxers!
Anakin: AHH! The author has put us at her every whim!
Obi: NOO! She is a well known Slash fan! AHHH!
(Obi and Annie start snogging because I'm the author and I say so)
All Female students: I KNEW IT!
All male students: ewww.
Mace: Master Obi-wan! That is not proper conduct! *is still hula dancing in a purple skirt and coconuts*
(All the students are doubled over with laughter)
(The mind Tricks suddenly stop working)
Yoda: time limit, there is.
(Obi and Anakin jump away from each other and wipe their mouths and spit)
Obi and Annie: Ewww.
Mace: Where the hell did I get these clothes?!
Male student #4: You were wearing them under your uniform.
Mace: Eh-heh.
Obi: CLASS DISMISSED!