Why the Torchwood Team Should Never Get Drunk!
Chapter 1 – It has been a year since Gwen and Rhys got married. They are having a party at Rhys' mate's pub. However, due to unforeseen circumstances the area has been cordoned off. Gwen and Rhys are alone in the pub. Please Note that we have used our artistic license and Tosh and Owen are still alive.
Rhys started to say something, then stopped. Gwen let out a huge sigh. They were both bored stiff.
"So..." Rhys started.
"So ... what?" said Gwen.
Just then the door burst open, and in walked the tall figure of Jack, followed closely by Ianto, Tosh and Owen. Rhys' jaw dropped. "Wha... what! What are you doing here?" Gwen wriggled uncomfortably.
"Ummmm... I may have, kind of, invited them."
"But... Wha... How did they even get in here? It's all blocked off!"
Jack flashed a cheesy smile. "Torchwood. Access all areas, baby." Ianto just rolled his eyes and smiled indulgently at Jack.
"Don't ever call me baby again," snarled Rhys. Ianto, Tosh and Owen were struggling to contain their giggles as Jack looked suitably mollified. This, as was later commented on, was a first.
Just then the slightly awkward atmosphere was broken by a rather loud and very untuneful version of 'Staying Alive'.
"I'm staying aliiiiiiiiiiiive!" With that an all too familiar figure burst through a door.
"Who the hell are you?" yelled Rhys. He wasn't having a very good time. The Torchwood team were all trying to find their cameras because...
"I'm Captain John Hart. Nice to meet you too."
"You really, really, really can't sing, you know," remarked Owen.
"Oh, and you can?" replied John.
"No, but at least I don't try!" shouted Owen before bursting into laughter at what John was wearing.
"And you really can't pull off that feminine look," giggled Ianto as he took a picture. "Perfect."
"Wait," said Rhys "If you are Captain John Hart and you are Captain Jack Harkness, which means your names are really similar! And if I was really drunk, I'd probably get all mixed up and call you something really daft, like Captain Jock Harshnett!"
Everybody looked at him.
Then Jack turned to John.
"What are you doing here, anyway?"
"Karaoke, baby!"
"Karaoke was yesterday!" said Ianto.
"How do you know?"
"Well if it weren't for that big blackboard to your left that says 'Karaoke on Friday' I wouldn't."
Everybody turned to look at the blackboard.
"Oh!"
The Torchwood team and Rhys all raised their eyebrows. Captain John burst out laughing.
"What's so funny?" asked Tosh eyebrows still raised.
"You... all... look... like... him!!" giggled John hopelessly, pointing at Ianto.
Ianto leant over to Jack and whispered "It looks like it's going to be a long night. Shall I go and make some coffee?"
"Great, we need more people like you, Ianto."
"So you keep saying, Sir!"
Gwen butted in. "What do we do with him then?" gesturing at the spot where John had been.
"Well," Jack said dryly "We may have to find him first..."