Trials and Tribulations
Chapter One: A Quest for Normalcy
It's been a while since I've attempted a Pokemon fanfic. Well, this idea came to me in a dream last night, and I can't risk not writing about it. Imagine a world very much like our own, only inhabited by Pokemon only. Yes, that's right, this is the story of a group of Pokemon living in our modern world—the "celebrities", the legendary Pokemon. All of them will make an appearance, though not all of them will become main characters. Thirty-three is a bit too many characters for me, after all.
This fic is rated Teen for sexual innuendos, language, and other various inappropriate things. Don't like, don't read. By the way, I own nothing.
As a side note, I gave the legendary Pokemon genders to make it easier on myself. I don't care which gender you think would have made more sense for a Pokemon, I went with my gut instinct.
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"You did not just sell the video to that party last night."
"Mm… I think I did."
Insert eye-twitch here. Mewtwo was certainly not pleased. The legendary Pokemon, one of a kind "gods" to the public, were now living in one large manor in a little town called New York City. In other words, even here they still were hunted down by the paparazzi. They were impossible to avoid, most of the time stalking the legendaries even in their sleep, just to get a good story about Deoxys' drug habits. It was depressing, and now Mew had just made it even worse.
Despite the fact that Mewtwo was supposedly a clone of Mew (that was the common story, though it had never actually been verified by any of the scientists on the board, mainly because they were too busy snarking at one another concerning who was the smartest—of course it was a board of Alakazams, what were you expecting?), the two couldn't get along for even a moment. Mewtwo certainly appeared older, and bossed his little clone around, but Mew was quite the seductive little brat. She always managed to get her way somehow. "You sold it."
"Yup." Mew stated simply, swishing her pink tail back and forth and watching it rather than Mewtwo's enraged expression and eye-twitching. "Got quite a good deal of money for it too. Who doesn't want to see you drunk as a Skunktank?"
"Now, now, boys, that's enough of that!" Celebi chimed as she floated into the room, all smiles and super-cute happiness that drove Mewtwo even further toward the brink of insanity.
"I'm a girl," Mew pointed out.
"Yes, yes, of course you are, dear." Celebi patted Mew on the head before floating over to Mewtwo. She was too good to walk, apparently. "Darling, you really needn't worry about that tape. They'll be done with it in a week or two, especially if they find someone else to pick fun at. Probably Articuno, you know who she's dating this week?"
"No, and I don't really care." Mewtwo grumbled, sinking onto the free end of the couch, shooting a glare at Mew, who only stuck out her tongue in response. "It would figure that the one time I mess up something like this has to happen…"
Celebi clicked her tongue sympathetically and sat in between the two, patting Mewtwo on the back consolingly. "It's alright, you know how the press are. They'll get bored of you soon enough and go back to trying to find proof of Giratina's massive drug ring."
"But he does have a massive drug ring! Not to mention a crime ring, and control over the mafia!" Mew protested, but was shushed by Celebi.
"Now, now, don't believe in those sorts of silly things. After all, Gira lives right upstairs, and probably is hiding in the wall right now, listening to our conversation…"
The three fell silent and turned to look at the wall. Giratina materialized from within and stomped into the room, smirking for all they could tell. "Hey, hey, what's all this about controlling the mafia, miss Mew? I certainly wouldn't do anything like that."
"Is he being sarcastic?" Mew whispered in a question over to Mewtwo.
"No idea." Mewtwo responded. For Psychic Pokemon, they sure could be dense.
Suddenly a loud pounding came from the front door, and Celebi flitted over to answer it. "Don't worry, dear," She called in Mewtwo's direction, "if it's the paparazzi I'll tell them to go away and bother someone else!"
"Sure you will," Mewtwo grumbled, certainly not believing her.
Celebi opened the door, only to be knocked over by a horde of Pokemon of varying species and types, all clamoring to get inside and get some good footage of the legendaries. "Hey, over here!" "C'mon, look this way, beautiful!" "I'll make you a star!" "Oh man, look at Mew, ladies! Isn't he a hottie!"
"I'm a girl!"
"Err, okay…"
"Out! Out! Get the hell out of my house!" Suddenly, in a crack of lightning, the essential Pokemon "god", Arceus, appeared in the living room, shooing the annoying pests (most of which happened to be Zubats, on closer inspection) out of the house and slamming the door. "Celebi, are you alright?"
"Oww… I think they broke my ribs…"
"Excellent!" Arceus turned towards the others, apparently not paying the slightest bit of attention to the twitching form of Celebi on the floor. "I believe it's time we move. They keep finding us here."
"Well, duh." Mew grumbled. "We have a sign that says 'Legendary Manor—home of those super-hot celebrity Pokemon'."
"Hmm," Arceus pondered for a moment. "That might be the problem."
Mewtwo suddenly attempted to snap his fingers (err… paws?), which didn't work out too well. "I've got it. They keep looking for us because we're anything but normal, but what if we were to pose as normal Pokemon?"
"How would we do that?" Giratina asked. He had apparently taken this time to turn down all the lights except for one overhead one above him, perch himself in the biggest armchair, and was now smoking on a cigar. Definitely not the image of a crime-lord alright.
Mew thought about it before suddenly transforming into an exact replica of a Ditto. "Hey, look what I can do!"
"…" Mewtwo sighed, and then reached over to slap the Ditto-Mew. "Don't turn into a Ditto! You can turn into any Pokemon, so pretend to be normal, or something!"
The other Pokemon in the room nodded, seeing where Mewtwo was going with this. They'd just have to use Transform and they could become any other Pokemon, so they could pretend to be normal. "Wait…" Arceus frowned. "None of us can use Transform."
"That could be a problem." Mewtwo admitted, he couldn't either. "Well, I suppose we'll just have to move to a hick town and hope they don't recognize us."
"A hick town?" Giratina didn't seem remotely pleased. "Will they have tobacco?"
"Possibly," Arceus replied, wondering why Giratina would need to know that.
Giratina nodded, and took another long drag on the cigar. "Then I'm in."
"Sounds good to me too."
"Same!"
"Darlings, can someone please help me snap my ribs back into place?" Celebi pleaded from the floor.
"Wonderful!" Arceus was apparently ignoring her again. "Then let's inform the others and find a house somewhere in some hick town!"
Of course, little did they know how badly all of this was going to turn out… For a bunch of spoiled and pampered legendary Pokemon living on their own in a house in the middle of nowhere… Well, someone was going to have to cook and clean, and it wouldn't be their maids.