A/N: I re-read The Search last night and was inspired. Aaand Azula's still my favorite character.
Azula had a dream. It was a glorious one; she became Fire Lord and people learned to bow down and fear her. She was laughing a vicious kind of laugh. Who wouldn't be? No Avatar and his pesky little gang, no Zuko, no traitors, no…
"Azula."
Something… no. Someone is calling her.
"Azula."
The voice sounds so familiar but Azula just couldn't put her finger on from who it's from. The annoying voice continue disturbing Azula and finally, after 3 more calls, the happy image of her dream started getting blurry and that's when she know that she would wake up.
Though as soon as Azula opened her eyes to answer the blinding sunlight's plea, she instantly knew she made a mistake. The figure clearly stood out with the peaking rays of the sun being Azula's only source of light. Looking down at her is a beautiful woman with a serene face and strikingly long hair. She looks like Azula, except the latter has disheveled hair and a wilder look in her eyes. They stared each other down until Azula can't stand it anymore.
"Mother!" Heavy breathing and sharp gasps accompanied right after she said the word. She thrashed and groaned and began to look around as if finding a weapon to magically vanish the vision.
Mother was a word Azula hated and will always hate. If it weren't for the damned straitjacket, she would've blasted the whole prison right then and there- including the wretched woman right before her- but alas, she was restrained.
"W-what are you doing here?!" Azula asked urgently; her golden eyes growing wide with fear and emergency. "Oh, oh! I get it! You are here to reprimand me, don't you?"
She began to laugh; a wildly disordered kind of laugh. Most daughters would cower at the idea of having their parents scold them but Azula, for as long as she can remember, was so used to it already that all she could do is laugh. Her mother continued giving her the look. After a few seconds, Azula abruptly stopped.
"What?" she continued, "you're not gonna say anything? You always have a say in everything! Are you just gonna stand there and watch your daughter guess your motives for coming here? You really like watching me suffer, don't you?" Azula watched her mother with that non-changing expression of hers as she rained her with questions.
It was then that Ursa slightly opened her mouth in an attempt to speak—but Azula instantly shushed her up.
"NO STOP! Stop." Azula gritted her teeth; her voise rising an octave higher, "I know what you're going to say, mother. You will tell me to go to my room and think about my actions, you will tell me to behave and be more like little Zuzu!" she mocked enthusiasm and breathed; it was like her speech took what little energy she has restored from her sleep.
"Yes…" her voice lowering again, almost to a whisper, "you're gonna tell me I'm a monster." She said without hesitation. Azula dropped down her head as fresh tears leaked out of her eyes. She feels like she was back at the final Agni Kai she had with her brother; helpless and lost. She continued sobbing like a child. Hearing none from Ursa, she looked up again, and the fear found in her eyes a while ago is evidently replaced with newfound rage.
"That's what you always think of me, right mother?!" she said with disgust, "you never treated me like I was your own! You think you would be better off with Zuko. You think that without me in the picture, everything would be perfect!"
Azula was yelling now. Ursa bowed her head down and speak for the first time.
"My love, I think you are confused. I wou-"
"Oh please mother, STOP!" she half-yelled, "stop consoling me and making me think that you have cared all these years! You never take my side. It was always Zuzu's. It has always been!" she said bitterly.
Azula was hysterical now; cutting off her mother twice in their conversation. She controlled her breathing and looked around the boxed room. If only she could get away from the image standing right before her, maybe she would find her inner peace. Curse Zuko for putting her in an institution. She needs no curing; she needs the satisfaction of ending her own mother's life. Ursa gave her daughter another sympathetic look and that's when Azula knew she lost it.
"Don't pretend to feel sorry for me. Do you see this?" her wild eyes travel down her restraints and she continues speaking, "this is what you have done to me. Congratulations!" she said ruefully, "you have performed your final act towards your own daughter, mother: you have turned my own mind against me!"
She finished and continued to stare at her. Everything was starting to get hazy—like she was about to wake up in a dream. It was like her mother was disintegrating. That would be quite a relief to Azula's part; she wants to escape from her mother's clutches anyway. But another part of her also wants to hear what Ursa has to say.
"Well?" she demanded, breathing hard.
"Azula, you are merely confused." Ursa started with that same line again. "I am here simply to help you, my daughter. I apologize if I have not loved you enough when I still had the chance." Ursa said with sincerity. Then she smiled; a sad smile. A groan planned to escape Azula's throat—a sign that she's about to cry again—but she fought it down. She can't give her mother the satisfaction of showing more weak sides of her.
"I apologize too if all you ever heard from me is the reprimanding that you spoke of." Ursa continued, "When you were born, I feel like the luckiest woman in the world. My marriage with your father probably didn't turn out well, but seeing you bundled up in my arms, I knew that you two are the treasures I will protect with my life."
"Argggh!" Azula cried again, but this time, it wasn't out of rage. It was out of self-pity. Azula didn't like how her mother's words have that effect on her. She was surprised, to be honest. These words were not what she expected to hear; she expected a go to your room and a that's enough, young lady. She cried harder. She wants comfort and now that she got it, why does it feel like her words are still not enough?
Azula stopped shaking and regained her composure. "No, mother. That's a lie." She took in a breath, "you fear me. You feared of the raw power I have even as a child and you feared me even more thinking about the future. You knew that I would be a firebending prodigy someday and then you stopped caring."
She eyed Ursa with distaste. "You never loved me."
Azula convinced herself years ago that she doesn't need a mother's affection. She had her father and the whole Fire Nation giving her all the glory and love she wants and that was enough. But right now, as she said it, she realized that it hurt. It did hurt to not have a mother.
"No." Ursa said in that eerily calm voice, "I love you Azula. I do."
"no… NO!"
As soon as those exact same words slip out of Ursa's mouth, Azula felt the power rise up to the depths of her stomach and she opened her mouth to let out a strong ghastly blue fire. She aimed it at the direction of Ursa. Expecting to see her mother get burned, what greeted her instead was Ty Lee, along with other Kyoshi warriors,—with all their swords drawn out- ducking and rolling toward her. Azula was momentarily shocked of her sudden appearance but Ty Lee, in a matter of seconds, was quickly by Azula's side and punctured the left upper part of her collarbone and give a soft side hit to her neck.
Azula went limp; sensing her inner chi blocked. The Kyoshi warriors start filing in and got closer to Azula to tighten her restraints.
"What happened here?" Suki asked, entering the room.
"She sort of just started shouting minutes ago." A random warrior spoke up. "Good thing Ty Lee was quick to her senses."
Azula gave her ex-best friend a look of utter disdain while Ty Lee looked away.
"Guys, maybe we should just leave her alone to cool herself off," Ty Lee announced despite feeling uncomfortable herself, " besides, the chi blocking's gonna expire soon."
"We'll do just that." Suki replied, not bothering to mask the fidget in her voice.
They all nodded and got out. They closed the prison doors and Azula, once again, was left alone in the dimly lit room.
I love you Azula. I do. I love you Azula. I do. I love you Azula. I do. I love you Azula. I do.
"Stop." She pleaded to no one in particular, "Make it stop! PLEASE!"
Azula broke down again. She cried and cried and wished for it all to go away.
But even she knew that it won't.
A/N: I did all that in one sitting but I still think it wasn't that great lol. Well, R&R people! Feedback is greatly appreciated :)