The Fine Art of Panicking

"Is there anything you're afraid of, captain?"

The question is innocent enough, but it has all eyes on the soldier that had just knifed a rather large B.O.W in the neck, the creature going down in one fluid motion. It had been an ugly thing, enough to make the team pause for a moment to try and understand it's twisted, grotesque form. Its face was not any better.

Chris Redfield, captain of the BSAA's Special Operations Unit, wipes his blade on his pants and puts it away before looking up at Carl. Before he can answer, another soldier speaks up.

"What kind of question is that?" Andy chides as he smacks Carl on the arm.

"Shut up," Carl shoots at Andy before they turn around and start heading to the rendezvous point. The B. in the area were all eliminated and now the unit could finally fall back and take a much needed break.

Piers doesn't miss the little shake of his head the BSAA captain does, and he also catches the gentle smile gracing the man's face. Chris must find his team's antics amusing.

"They think you're fearless, captain," the Ace comments as he passes by his captain and follows the rest of his unit.

The sound of heavy boots hurrying over gravel is heard before Chris falls into step beside his lieutenant. "That's quite an assumption," the BSAA captain sighs, but he supposes that it's to be expected. He does have quite the track record.

"What about you?" the older man finds himself asking.

"Hmm?"

"Do you think I'm fearless, too?" Chris clarifies, glancing down at the shorter male.

Piers is silent for a moment, thinking it over before he shakes his head. "No. Brave, yes, but not fearless."

The knowing look on the Sniper's face intrigues the BSAA captain, but before he can inquire further, the other soldiers under his command call out to them saying something along the lines of "You guys are trailing behind."

Piers hurries to catch up to the rest of the team making Chris do the same, the conversation forgotten. It isn't until they're back on base the next day that Piers finds out just what exactly frightens his captain.

After a long mission like the one they had just returned from, no one was willing to stay on base any longer than necessary. After the debriefing, the soldiers disappeared faster than Chris could run away from paperwork and that's pretty damn quick.

Unfortunately for Chris, however, the paperwork on his desk had stacked up and he had to get it done, whether he wanted to or not.

Piers took it upon himself to tie up any loose ends after the mission, making sure the equipment was back in place and ready for tomorrow before leaving for the night. By the time the Sniper was done, it was dark out. He briefly wondered if he was the last one still at the base but discarded that idea when he caught sight of a light emanating from a room down the hall. Piers didn't have to peek into the room to know that it was Chris' office and that the man was most likely catching up on paperwork. That was the only reason the BSAA captain worked overtime anyway. The man avoided it like the plague and that's saying something since their line of work revolved around viruses.

The Ace turns around and goes into the lounge, making his captain a cup of coffee before heading back to Chris' office and knocking on the man's open door to get his attention, not that he needed to do much anyway. The BSAA captain is desperate for any distraction to get him away from his paperwork at this point. The Sniper raises an eyebrow at his captain when the pencil the man had been balancing on his lips clatters noisily onto his desk and proceeds to roll of the edge, resonating in the quiet room as it hits the floor.

"Piers," Chris breathes before he sits up in his chair. "I didn't think anyone was still around."

"Not for long," the Sniper answers before he walks into the room and places the steaming cup of coffee on his captain's desk. "Thought you might need that."

"Thanks," the BSAA captain looks a little relieved to see the beverage before his brown eyes snap up to meet Piers'. "Not sticking around tonight?"

Piers shakes his head, "Not tonight. Do you need anything else?"

"No, I'm fine. Thanks," Chris answers and the Ace isn't sure if he's detecting a little disappointment in his voice.

"See you in the morning, captain," the Sniper waves before he steps back.

"Yeah, drive safe," the BSAA captain waves back before he reaches for his coffee. The hot liquid burns down his throat but he likes it that way. It's good and Chris briefly wonders how Piers knows how to make coffee just the way he likes it before his eyes land on the pencil by his feet.

The BSAA captain bends forward and reaches for the pencil, but pauses when his eyes catch something big and black wiggling past his fingers. Something horrible and horrifying with one too many legs that makes Chris release the manliest shriek he could muster.

Piers is only a few feet out of the door when he hears a scream come from within Chris' office followed by the sound of glass shattering. He quickly turns on his heels and pokes his head back into his captain's office, "Captain?"

The Ace did not expect to see the man sitting on his desk, his wide eyes meeting Piers' for a moment before returning to searching the floor beneath him. The cup lies shattered on the floor under his desk, the coffee making a dark little puddle. Piers doesn't know what to make of the sight and he has to bite back the chuckle that threatens to escape his lips at the sight of Chris hurdled on his desk.

"I didn't realize my coffee was that terrible," Piers remarks as he steps into the room.

"No, Piers, stay back," Chris demands before he scans the floor around his desk and practically jumps off, hurrying over to his Sniper's side. "It's in here."

"What is?" the Ace asks, taking in his captain's wide eyes and wondering just what the heck could have spooked him. It's hard to believe the man is startled at all.

"That," the BSAA captain frowns, pointing at the wall behind his desk.

Piers narrows his eyes, trying to make out what Chris is pointing at when he finally spots it. There, on the floor, wiggling along the wall looking for a hiding place is a big, black centipede.

The Sniper couldn't hold back the frown that tugs on his lips at the sight of it. It's a monstrous thing, bigger than any he had ever seen before and by the looks of it, the BSAA captain had also never seen one so big either.

The little vermin scurries across the floor and disappears behind the book shelf, only then is Piers able to tear his eyes away from it to see Chris staring at him expectantly.

"Well? Kill it," the BSAA captain orders.

Piers blinks at him, "What?" No way. That thing was huge and the Sniper had a thing against being stung. "Did you see the size of that thing?"

Chris shifts on his feet, "You're scared of a little bug?"

"If I do respectively recall, captain, I wasn't the one who screamed," Piers reminds him. "I'm also not the one standing outside of the room."

Chris looks uncomfortable for a moment and he shifts on his feet again, a light shade of pink dusting his cheeks. This is what Chris Redfield must look like embarrassed and it's a sight Piers never thought he'd get the honor of witnessing.

"It caught me off guard, ok?" the BSAA captain remarks before he steps into the room again, his brown eyes staring at the bookshelf the little creature had hid behind. "It almost got my hand."

The Ace scoffs, "You're scared of centipedes? Really, captain? You've faced bigger, uglier things and it's this little bug that gives you the creeps?"

Chris narrows his eyes at his lieutenant, "I'm not scared of centipede. They're just... ew. I can't help it."

"So who kills them at home?" Piers asks, trying to hold back the grin that is sure to make his captain irritated with him.

Chris looks away from those hazel orbs before he rubs the back of his neck, the way he always does when he's out of his element. It wasn't hard for the Sniper to pick up on. "I do, but that's beside the point." With a lot of bug spray and shoes flying around, but Piers doesn't need to know that. Besides, Claire and Jill are much more effective bug killers. Why would he take that honor away from them?

With the little monster behind the bookcase, that meant someone had to move it and Chris did not want to be near it if it wasn't necessary. Besides, he's tired and this is the perfect excuse to get him out of paperwork for the night.

"You know what? I'll just get it in the morning," the BSAA captain says as he walks over to his desk to collect his things.

"But it'll be gone," Piers comments.

"How is that a bad thing?" Chris asks, his back turned to the Ace and his eyes looking over at the bookshelf every other second.

"You won't know where it is. Do you want it sneaking up on you again?" Piers asks, the amusement not absent from his voice. "I don't think your reputation will hold up if you squeal like that again with the base full of people tomorrow."

Chris shoots a scandalized look over his shoulder at his lieutenant, "I don't squeal. I just gasped in surprise. Anyone would."

Piers has to bite his bottom lip to stop himself from grinning, "Admit it, captain. You're not setting foot in this office tomorrow if it's still in here."

The BSAA captain chooses to ignore him it seems as the man continues to pick up his things. Piers steps into the room with a sigh, "Ok, I'll get it for you."

That makes his captain's head snap up, "Really? I mean, it's not that I need you to. I'm just tired."

"Of course, captain," Piers grins before he steps over to the bookcase. As much as he reminds himself it's just a little centipede, his mind conjures up the ugly little thing with hundreds of legs and long antennas and the Ace couldn't help but shudder. "Can you move the bookcase?"

Chris' face almost makes the Sniper lose his composure right then and there. If his captain's face was pale before, it's drained of all color now.

"Do you want me to get it or not?" Piers asks. "I can't if it's hiding behind there."

The BSAA captain frowns and visibly swallows before stepping over to the bookcase. "Alright. This is nothing."

The Ace watches on in amusement as Chris grabs hold of the front of the bookcase with the tip of his fingers, not wanting to be close to the vermin at all. Piers kicks off one of his boots, intent on using it to smash the centipede when said monstrosity comes flying out from behind the bookshelf towards his foot.

Piers yelps as he jumps back into his captain's arms, the man startling at the Sniper's sudden reaction and jumping back as well. He didn't expect to catch the Ace in the air, the young man practically jumping into Chris' arms and wrapping his arms around the man's neck. The BSAA captain wastes no time in high tailing it out of the office, Piers in his arms like a toddler.

"What happened?" Chris asks, his wide brown eyes searching the floor for the offending creature from the safety of the hallway.

"It hissed at me!" Piers gasps, his arms tight around his captain's neck.

"I told you they were evil," the BSAA captain responds.

"No you didn't."

"I am now," Chris snaps back, only then realizing that he still has Piers in his arms. He didn't even notice when the Sniper had wrapped his legs around his waist, the young man practically clinging to him.

The BSAA captain taps Piers' side and that gets the Ace to look up at him, the realization dawning in those hazel eyes before he instantly releases his iron grip on his captain. Chris has to hold on to the Sniper to prevent him from crashing onto the hard floor, only letting go when Piers' feet finally make contact with the floor.

The Ace steps back, a light shade of red dusting his cheeks as he coughs to clear his throat, or maybe he does it to clear the awkward tension in the air. Chris is the first to recover and looks over at the bookshelf, his brown eyes landing on the Sniper' discarded boot.

"Your shoe is still over there," the BSAA captain mutters.

"Forget the shoe. That centipede is blood thirsty," Piers responds. "We need another plan of action."

"Bug spray," says a raspy feminine voice from beside the two soldiers, making both men jump in surprise.

The custodian, Mrs. Hanley, an older woman with graying hair is standing there, her cart full of cleaning supplies behind her.

"Holy sh-" Chris cuts himself off. Doesn't anyone make noise when walking around a practically deserted military base? "Didn't see you there, Mrs. Hanley."

"I know," the woman says, a ghost of a smirk on her lips as she turns around to rummage in her cart for something. Did the custodian really intend to startle him? The BSAA captain pushes that thought aside as Mrs. Hanley turns around to face him, a can of Raid in her hands. "So what are you boys squealing about?" the older woman asks, ignoring the way both soldiers squirm at her words.

"There's a...centipede in my office," Chris explains, not missing the amused look the woman gives him before she walks into the office.

"Where is it?" she asks, the BSAA captain cautiously walking in after her.

"It's alright, I've got it," Chris offers, trying to save face, but Mrs. Hanley waves him away.

"Just tell me where it went," she repeats.

"It was behind the bookcase, but I think it might be at the other side of the room. Maybe by the file cabinet?" Piers supplies from the safety of the office doorway.

Mrs. Hanley walks over to the file cabinet, but Chris maneuvers around her to move the object so that she wouldn't have to do it. The moment the file cabinet is moved to the side, the little creature from hell comes flying out again just as Piers predicted.

A sound close to a whimper lodges itself in the BSAA captain's throat as the man immediately jumps away, the sight of the wiggling monstrosity enough to make goose-bumps erupt on his skin again.

Not missing a beat, Mrs. Hanley sprays the centipede, the bug halting its hasty escape and trying to turn around in an attempt to escape the liquid being sprayed at it. The BSAA captain takes another step back and Piers has to bite his bottom lip to stop himself from grinning. Mrs. Hanley looks unfazed while Chris looks about ready to jump onto his desk again. The man must really detest centipedes.

The little creature wiggles around wildly, attempting to climb up the wall before it tries to escape Mrs. Hanley, but the woman has it cornered. A few silent moments go by before the centipede is left a withering mess on the floor, twitching its antennas and hurling it's body around as the chemicals take effect on it.

It took a little old lady to tame and eliminate the beast.

Chris lets out a visible sigh of relief before Mrs. Hanley turns to look at him.

"Are you done in here?" the older woman asks and the BSAA captain gets the hint. The fun is over and she wants to finish her job. The office is quite a mess, the bookshelf is crooked, there is a shattered glass on the floor, its dark contents still spilling over underneath Chris' desk. Piers can only imagine what could be going through the custodians head. Poor woman.

"Yes," Chris answers as he turns back to his desk and finishes collecting his things. The BSAA captain then moves around his desk and goes back over to the bookshelf, picking up Piers' discarded boot. He turns back to Mrs. Hanley, clearing his throat. "Thank you. I'll see you tomorrow, Mrs. Hanley."

The woman simply nods at him and with that the BSAA captain hurries out of the room. Chris hands his lieutenant his shoe and pauses for a moment, waiting for the Ace to slip on his boot before he continues down the hall.

"Goodnight," Piers offers Mrs. Hanley a small wave before following his captain out. He was on his way out before this ordeal started anyway.

Both soldiers are silent as they make their way out. The Ace chances a glance at his captain, the man steadily avoiding eye contact with him. The man must be feeling embarrassed. If only Piers could just let it be, but this opportunity is just too perfect. It's not everyday that a lieutenant learns that his legendary captain gets squeamish at the sight of a little bug.

"So, centipedes, huh?" the Sniper pipes up, amusement sparkling in his eyes at the sight of the BSAA captain's frown just at the mention of the creature's name.

Chris doesn't answer him, his brown eyes still trained ahead of him and Piers tries to contain his shit-eating-grin, but to no avail.

"You screamed too," his captain declares as they step outside and make their way to the parking lot.

That brings Piers' amusement to a halt. He didn't scream - he was just caught off guard when the thing came flying at him. Anyone would release a harmless little sound of protest.

"We shall never speak of this," Chris continues before he stops and turns to face his lieutenant, Piers coming to a halt in front of him. "Thanks," he says, catching the Sniper off guard. His face must have betrayed his confusion because the BSAA captain adds, "For trying to help."

Piers nods and shrugs, "Maybe we're better suited for the battlefield." It's not like he fared much better against the threat in Chris' office. He offers his captain a small smile, "Don't worry captain, your secret is safe with me. As far as I know, you're still fearless." The Sniper winks at his captain before he continues to his truck, his chuckle drifting through the quiet night.

Chris watches his Ace walk away before he shakes his head, a smile also gracing his lips. His lieutenant is really something else.

Author's Note: And here's my first attempt at writing Resident Evil fanfiction. It's not to be taken seriously, but I love Nivanfield so much that I just had to write something! It's there, if you squint maybe.

I also personally do detest centipedes. I respect them as living creatures as long as they're at least 30 feet away from me. They're just so scary! Anyway, thanks for reading!

Disclaimer: Resident Evil and its characters do not belong to me.