CHAPTER 1
THE DECISSION
I was sitting on my bed thinking about when Edward left. Ican still rember it perfectly as it it had just happened and it has been 3 months and the pain hasnt gotten any better i dont want you i rembered him saying. It felt like the hole in my heart was being slowly torn even more I cluched my torso trying to ease the pain and just sobbed.
I don't know how long I was crying until I heard Charlie pull up in the driveway. I dried the teers away and went in the bathroom and washed my face I looked in the mirror and realised how sickly thin I was and how dull and limp my hair was and the light that used to be in my eyes is now gone. I brushed through my hair trying to look a little better for charlies sake. I have been trying to hold myself together for Charlie its been hard on him too with me wakeing him up in the middle of the night screaming because of my nightmairs or nightmare I have the same one over and over every night but unlike other nightmares this one dosnt go away when I open my eyes because edward is gone...forever.
I heard charlie down stairs so I walked down lookind as happy as I could manage cause im never happy anymore and I think Charlie can tell that. Hey dad did you have a good day? "It was ok I guess, you" well same as usual I told him then he sighed and sat down and motioned for me to sit across from him so I did "Now bella I think I have given you a reasional amount of time to pull yourself out of this depression your in but it seems to be exactally the same you need to get out of this place and maby youll get better" Dad what are you trying to say " Bella I think you should go stay with your mom in Jacksonvill" No dad I cant leave " Bella I know what your doing and you need to get it through your hed that hes not commming back its been 3 months and not a phone call or letter bella hes gone probally moved on and you should to" I KNOW HES GONE AND NOT COMMING BACK I KNOW HES PROBALLY MOVED ON AND I KNOW THAT HE...HE DOSN'T LOVE ME , HE PROBALLY NEVER DID!! " Now bella thats not what im saying he did love you I could tell im just saying that you need to move on with your life and stop waiting for him to come back" IM NOT WAITING FOR ANYTHING ESPECIALLY NOT HIM!! "Bella theres no need to yell just calm down, please" I breathed a couple of deep breaths but that didnt help I was just so mad not at Charlie I was mad at Edward for lieing to me I bet he never even loved me I was just some distraction something to pass his time, and I was mad at me for believeing him. then after a few minutes I agreed to go to Jacksonvill I need to get away from all things that remind me of Edward and so the next day I started packing.