AN- My first CTM fanfic. Just a little obsessed with these ladies at the moment. I know, I'm a fangirl ho! I will be finishing my LTIH fic asap, however my laptop got a virus and I lost some files. Think this will be two parts.

Part 1

Patsy turned her trusty metal steed into the final corner before home. Home. She had thought of Nonnatus as home for quite some time now and here she was preparing to leave it behind. Still, without Barbara and Trixie it had lost some of the appeal it once held. The new girls were fine but it wasn't the same.

A sight caught Patsy's eye which she was sure at first must have been an apparition belonging to her current recollections. The image of a dark haired figure, slim and smaller than herself, waiting in the shadows. Patsy never failed to look for her there but it had been an age since she had shown herself. Patsy squeezed the brakes sharply and came to an abrupt stop, slipping forward from her saddle and bouncing a little as she landed on the balls of her feet.

Patsy gasped as the image did not disappear as she had expected but became clearer as the woman stepped into the light from the street lamp.

"Hello Patsy." The voice she could not forget and that had not altered in her memory nor in reality.

Her appearance however was a little changed. The hair was shorter. A bob. The face itself perhaps a little more worn, unless her memory had played tricks on her? It hadn't been that long after all. Though she felt that she too may have aged and on thinking so, hoped it didn't show.

"Delia." Patsy spoke finally. "What are you doing here?"

"Didn't you know I would come?" Delia asked simply, taking a step closer.

Patsy glanced down at the bike, thankful that she had it, both to hold her up and to create a barrier between them.

"It's been a long time." She said pointlessly, unsure what else to say.

"Too long." Delia agreed. "Now hadn't you better change out of your uniform? We need to talk."

Xxx

"How did you find out?" Patsy asked as she cradled the large solid tumbler.

"Trixie." Delia informed. "She wrote to me, last week."

"Trixie did?!" Patsy checked. "Why would she?"

Delia shrugged it off. "Maybe she cares about you Pats? Maybe she knows you a lot better than you give her credit for?"

There was something new in Delia's tone. Something Patsy had never heard before, not like this, not in all their disappointments. A bitterness. It made Patsy wince a little before she collected herself. She took a long slug of her drink and played for time. The alcohol calming her slightly already.

"You stopped writing yourself ?" Delia reminded and questioned, her voice softening.

"Yes." Patsy acknowledged. Perhaps Delia had held onto the hope that somewhere a pile of letters had been mistakenly addressed and were waiting to be collected at a post office depot somewhere in the country. "I had too."

"And you stopped taking my calls." Delia recalled, only a hint of accusation, a bite of her lip.

"I told you Deels, I couldn't do it anymore. It wasn't good for me. Every time you called I was right back at the start, never getting over you, it wasn't fair to either of us." Patsy almost whispered this, leaning forward as she did so into dangerous territory.

Delia smiled a twisted smile and forced out her chin. "So now you are are you? Over me?"

"It's been more than a year." Patsy offered.

"That isn't an answer." Delia said, her eyes pushing at something in Patsy. Challenging her.

Patsy got up from the table and pushed back her chair as Delia frowned and shot a hand out, reaching across the table.

"I'm going to put some music on." Patsy told her. "I'll be back in a mo."

Patsy felt Delia's eyes follow her to the jukebox. It was so strange for them to be here together again and Patsy tried to banish memories of the two of them lent over this very machine, choosing tracks together, side by side, their fingers purposeful as they brushed each others, hands, waist, wrist, seemingly by accident.

Patsy was grateful that the jukebox itself had had a recent update, only a few of the songs they had enjoyed together remained and she steered well clear of those. Another minute and Patsy could put off returning to their table no longer.

"So…" Delia began, a slightly forced smile on her face but some of the old Delia shining through. " How is everyone? Trixie didn't say much in her letter, but I didn't recognise the return address. She's not at Nonnatus?"

Patsy shook her head, grateful for the return to chatter. "She's a surgeon's wife. Very respectable, but still her old self. He's really rather a nice chap. And Barbara married Tom in the end as we suspected she would."

Patsy took out a cigarette and looked to Delia as she lit it, half expecting the old disapproving glance or even a scolding. Delia managed not to say anything and looked away with a blush as she followed the journey of the offending item to Patsy's lips.

The door of the cafe opened and neither woman looked around, not until a person appeared at the edge of their table casting shadow over the scene.

"There you are darling! I knew I'd find you in this old place. I was supposed to pick you up at six sharp, don't you remember?" The gentleman held a hat between his hands and looked now briefly at Delia.

"Sorry for the interruption, awfully rude of me, it's just that my mother is expecting us. You must be…?" He glanced back to Patsy for a hint.

"Ed, this is a dear old friend of mine, Delia. We were at the London together." Patsy explained.

"Ah smashing, I bet you had a grand old time in those days, no nuns on guard, I had to win each one of them around before I stood a chance with Pats, didn't I darling?" He looked back to Patsy for her concurrence.

Patsy smiled simply and stubbed out her cigarette on the ashtray in the middle of the table, quickly getting up from her seat and snatching up her jacket.

"We better be off then." She said to Eddie. "It was nice to see you again Delia." She managed. "How long are you in London?"

"Oh, as long as it takes." Delia replied happily. "Don't worry, I'll see you again." She promised sweetly.

Patsy didn't know if she was relieved by the news or bloody irritated by the way that Delia seemed to be watching her in amusement as Ed bustled her out of the cafe.

"Jolly good to meet you!" He called as they parted.

Delia raised a hand in his direction but her eyes were locked with Patsy's.

Xxx

"Ah Nurse Mount." Nurse Crane announced on Patsy's entry to Nonnatus two evenings later. "Look who we have here! Nurse Bus… Delia!" Nurse Crane looked at the young woman as she checked herself in using the formal address and beamed at each girl in turn.

Patsy had been waiting for this since the last moment they met, expecting it and yet she was still taken aback at the sight of Delia sitting at the table, a cup of tea before her, as if she belonged, as if she had never left.

"You didn't mention she was back!" Chided Phyllis as Patsy took off her cloak and hat.

"Yes, it was something of a surprise." Patsy remarked, making her way to the kitchen area and the kettle, her back to Delia for a moment, so that she could take a breath, gather herself again.

"Oh and a pleasant one! It's been such a long time." Phyllis continued, clapping her hands together and shooting a puzzled glance at Patsy's lack of reaction.

As Patsy waited for the kettle to boil the phone rang and Nurse Crane sprang to attention. "I shall get that! You two must have so much to catch up on."

The moment Phyllis left the room, Delia stood and made her way to the kitchen and to Patsy. She placed her mug on the counter beside the taller woman, her hand a fraction of an inch from Patsy's waist. Patsy pushing back against the counter and sucking herself in, avoiding Delia's touch.

"I wouldn't mind another cup." Delia grinned. "I've been waiting a while."

Patsy turned and busied herself with the drinks, she'd had a tough shift and part of her desperately wanted to turn to Delia and pour it all out, let this woman make it alright, like she had many times before.

"I'm exhausted Deels." She admitted. "What's all this about?"

" You know what it's about Pats." Delia said, her hand taking Patsy's elbow and gently pulling her around to face her. "It's about us. You and me. I'm here to get you back."

Patsy looked hurriedly around the rooms, the doorways, heard the soft murmur of Phyllis on the phone. "You can't just do this to me Deels, not now, it isn't fair."

Delia spoke quietly, urgently. "I'm sorry I didn't come sooner Pats, I am, but I'm here now. I was always going to find a way to be here, always."

"It's too late." Patsy told her bluntly, a tear rolling from the corner of her eye.

"It doesn't have to be. Trixie told me… she said I had one chance. " Delia had clasped her fingers around Patsy's wrist. "You have to give me a chance." She pleaded.

Footsteps sounded nearby and the latest nurse to join their family appeared at the door. She was a quiet little thing and Patsy was quite fond of her. The young woman took one look at Delia and Patsy, tears on Patsy's face and excused herself quickly and without fuss.

Xxx

Patsy had had no choice but to take Delia up to her room, she couldn't have everyone at Nonnatus House stumbling upon her in her current emotional state and they couldn't talk further, clear up this whole mess, with an audience.

Patsy placed herself on the foot of her bed and dabbed crossly at her blotchy face with a tissue. She hadn't cried in such a long time and she hated that she cried so easily now.

"Pats, he seems like a very nice man but honestly, you can't marry him, not really?" Delia was still standing, almost pacing the room.

"That is the plan." Patsy remarked coolly.

" Well plans change." Delia stated firmly.

"Why? Why would I put off a perfectly lovely man, who really cares for me, who loves me, who can give me a family, a future, who can take care of me. Why?" Patsy asked, knowing the answer. Having always known the answer.

Delia thumped down on the bed beside her and pushed a hand into Patsy's hair, her fingers grazed the scalp and Patsy's eyes closed as her lips parted, Delia touched her forehead to Patsy's until the redhead opened her eyes, a second after their eyes met Delia pressed her lips to Pasty's, slowly, pulling back only to lean in again and take just the bottom lip between her own.

Delia withdrew completely now and Patsy watched her intently, holding her breath.

"This is why." Delia said, her brow raising in questioning.

Xxx

Patsy hadn't seen Trixie and Barbara in weeks. With the different locations and work patterns they struggled to meet nearly as often as they would have liked. Patsy was looking forward to the evening and had decided she wouldn't even mention Delia, or Trixie's well meant meddling in the situation.

It turned out that she didn't need to mention it. As Patsy arrived at the busy coffee bar she was greeted by Trixie, Roger, Barbara and Tom, and a gentleman she had never set eyes on before was stood right beside a smiling Delia.

Trixie greeted she and Ed loudly as she saw them closing in and looked faux apologetically at Patsy, who was in full glare by now, as she introduced the extra couple.

"Ed, this is Delia and this is Joe, Joe works with Roger at the London and Delia…" Trixie began.

"Yes Delia's a nurse too! We met the other night, how nice…" Ed chirped up kindly.

Patsy was busy greeting Barbara and Tom and now moved on to acknowledge Delia and her date with a simple sufficient hello and a small uneasy smile.

The group made their way to a corner booth and squeezed in. It was lively here tonight and Patsy could hear the live music in the basement beneath. Patsy took the chance to examine the young man seated next to Delia, he had just said something close to her ear and Delia laughed genuinely. Patsy decided objectively that he was quite good looking, perhaps a couple of years younger than Ed, he had obviously taken some time over his appearance. Patsy wondered what Delia actually thought of him as she watched him again try and engage Delia in private conversation.

Roger had begun speaking to Tom about his new motor car, his favourite topic and Patsy offered to go and fetch drinks, being that it was so busy and they would probably never be served otherwise. Delia, who was positioned at the opposite end of the booth offered to help.

Delia pushed past a few standing patrons in an effort to keep up with Patsy as she made her way to the counter.

"What are you doing here?!" Patsy demanded as Delia reached her.

"Trixie invited me…" Delia began before Patsy erupted.

"And him?! A date! What exactly is that supposed to achieve?" Patsy hissed.

"I couldn't come alone with you all coupled up…" Delia explained reasonably.

"Then why come at all?" Patsy pouted petulantly.

"Pats? Don't be like that. I wanted to see you again. I needed to." Delia let her fingers brush Patsy's as they hung by her side and frowned as Patsy tore hers away instantly, shooting Delia a warning look.

"Are you jealous?" Delia grinned.

"This is not the time or place." Patsy informed.

"Well, I'm finished waiting for the right time and place Pats, I'm here now and so are you." Delia replied defiantly.

Patsy pursed her lips, refusing to look Delia in the eye and then lunged a little over the counter at the young woman passing behind. "Could we get some drinks!" She called impatiently.

Xxx

"Are you alright Patsy? You're a little quiet tonight." Barbara asked, interrupting the dark thoughts Patsy was having as Joe regaled the group with another comical story about the current matron.

"Yes, of course, I'm fine." Patsy felt a little guilty at the lie but she could hardly confide in her friend here or anywhere else for that matter. Patsy wondered what Barbara was even aware of when it came to her relationship with Delia. Trixie had clearly worked out more than Pasty had given her credit for, but how much she still was unsure and would she have shared that with Barbara?

"It's good to see Delia again isn't it?" Barbara asked happily. "I know the two of you had drifted apart and maybe there was some kind of falling out, but I always thought it was such a shame."

"Yes, it was." Patsy agreed sincerely.

The group finished their drinks and headed downstairs for a glimpse at the band. Trixie was first to pull Roger into the centre of the crowded room and in amongst other dancing couples. The others leant against the wall and watched for a few moments before Tom too had managed to coax Barbara onto the makeshift dance floor.

Ed wasn't much of a dancer, unless he had had a fair few drinks and then he wasn't much of a dancer. Patsy would normally get up with Trixie and Barbara to the faster numbers, she enjoyed the music. It was loud enough down here that she wouldn't be expected to make conversation and loud enough too that it could almost drown out her thoughts.

The song finished and people applauded as the band struck up their next tune, a more upbeat number.

"Dance with me Pats?" Delia called beside her suddenly.

Patsy scowled. "Absolutely not!"

Delia turned to Joe and told him. "We're off to the bathroom." As she took a hold of Patsy's hand and pulled her after her and across the room.

Patsy allowed herself to be dragged to the ladies and stood motionless at the sink as Delia examined herself in the mirror, waiting until the other two women in the room left.

"Why won't you dance with me?" Delia asked now. "Plenty of girls are dancing together."

"It isn't the same." Patsy argued. "I just can't here, with everyone, it would feel too dishonest."

Delia studied Patsy carefully for a moment. "What does that tell you then?" She demanded suddenly as she made to leave.

Patsy stopped her as she reached the door, a hand to her arm. "Hang on a minute Deels, you were the one that left. You left me and now you come swanning back into my life as if it's all so easy…"

"I didn't want to leave you!" Delia shot.

"But you did." Patsy repeated. "Perhaps you didn't want to stay quite as much as you let on."

"Who could blame me Patsy? You didn't beg me to stay, you didn't tell me you loved me, needed me, couldn't be without me. You never really told me how you felt. It was all me. You wanted me to give up my home to come here and snatch moments with you where we could. But I would have done it anyway, I still would, if you'd only really asked me to." Delia pulled away and pushed through the door into the noise of the cafe.

Patsy turned and made her way to the toilet cubicle sinking to the closed seat and allowing herself a quiet cry.

A minute or so later the outer door swung open and with the burst of music came Trixie's voice.

"Patsy?!" She called, her heels clacking on the tiles. "I know you're in here."

Patsy wiped her eyes carefully and stood and unlocked the door.

Trixie smiled sympathetically as she waited for Patsy to emerge and passed her a lit cigarette, which she accepted gratefully and without a word.

"This is all your fault." Patsy said miserably.

"You can thank me later." Trixie grinned, inhaling from her own cigarette, held between perfect pink nails.

"Really Trixie. What am I going to do?" Patsy moaned.

"You'll do what's best." Trixie nodded confidently. "But for now… let's dance!"

Xxx