It's half past eleven, though my bangs hiding my eyes vision to the clock as I laid lazily on my bed. The apartment seemed to be center of silent rituals, I was alone between these unheard chants. I guess the clock ticks were covering my depressing figure. I can almost say this silence is noisy but I have to confess, it's hiding my heartbeat chorus.

For some reason I've grown a habit of checking my phone every 5 minutes to check the time even if I already knew. Perhaps I was waiting for a message from Soul that he'll be late or stay with the Death the Kid and Black Star. I felt a slight pinch in my heart but I won't apologize to my mind of this thought because I was really waiting for him, hoping he would ease this pain of my heart. It's confusing how I feel all these mixed feelings and weakness.

I glanced over my phone one more time, still can't seem to hear what my mind is telling me. Funny how this strange pain is actually more brutal to bare than my battle scars. I can swear I feel my heart being struggled by my confused emotions.

Feeling that knife carving again into my heart, no … I'm not in love

It's been happening alot lately and by this time I get choked with tears but tonight I don't want to add my teardrop vocals as a verse in the ballad of my pain. This feeling of weakness is not a trait of a meister strong as me.

My face seem to swing towards the door as I heard the door knob turning, familiar face … familiar footsteps … familiar blood red eyes staring into mine but not that same way as I am gazing. He gave the usual smirk of coolness with the short words from his mouth:

"I thought you'd be sleeping by now"

Tear me apart, death scythe … I no longer want to bare this pain

I ignored that silent scream of my heart and lied:

"I just felt hungry, think I was waiting for your highness ?"

Yes I was

He rolled his shoulder as his legs led the way to his room, giving me his death blow:

"Alright then … Goodnight Maka"

For some reason those words made me hear the shattered soul of mine, collapsing to the floor but I stood still holding these pieces of me as his room door closed behind him.

I need you …

I find myself in my room as every night, hugging my knees on bed. I would ask for a prayer unheard.

Release me from this battle between my heart and mind

Free me from this torture

After all … I'm still a woman