I love you; a 3 years Fan fiction.
WARNING: Spoilers ahead.
I love you; I've wanted to say those words to you for a while now. Graduation was no different, but it would never happen. It would never work. That's what I always told myself anyways. But now, sitting here in the park, rain falling on my head, I'm not so sure anymore.
The day we met was unusual. I thought she would be just a loud and annoying girl that sat next to me in class. I didn't think we would be so much in common. I told myself, "Maybe she's different then what I thought." I never thought that quiet bastard would steal my chance away. When he asked her if he could be a potential lover, something inside me honestly wished it was a joke. The look on both their faces told me this wasn't the case. Time flew by; next thing I knew a year had come and gone. My feelings were the only things that stayed the same in the time span.
I don't know what snapped in me that day. "That's not how you should treat friends!" That line, in her voice, when she said it; it pissed me off. I don't know what happened, but suddenly, the urge to kiss her overflowed within me. I actually went for it, I would have, if she didn't step back and fall… clumsy girl. I don't know why, but at that moment, a smile overcame my face, and I laughed. She left hastily, that was the last time I ever truly smiled. After that day, I couldn't face her anymore, it would be best if I just tried to avoid her… maybe eventually the feelings would naturally leave.
"Do you love her?"
She asked me that one day, after her and Shindou had broken up. I didn't want to tell her that I didn't, all that would have caused was her chewing my ear off again. I don't know why, but I lied to her, I knew I shouldn't have, but I did. Not soon after did she tell me that she loved me, boy did I feel stupid. I wanted to pull her in close, kiss her passionately, in a way that I have yearned for, for so long. Instead, I just pulled her close, the urge to cry and tell her my true feelings, but I couldn't. She was horrible with timing.
Even at graduation, even though I was still going out with Sayumi, I loved her. I have always loved her. I not once stopped. Even now, in the rain, she's all I think about. College is a new experience; she's probably met tons of guys that would just love to be with her. She's just that amazing after all.
In the midst of my thoughts I heard footsteps walking my way. Probably some stranger; but for some reason, I felt like I had to look up. When the footsteps came to a stop, I couldn't keep my gaze at my feet any longer. I looked up, past the droplets freefalling from the umbrella top. And there she was, standing, so magnificently beautiful the way I've always remembered her.
"Oh my gosh! Haruka, is that you?" she yelled in that voice of hers, typical, I couldn't have expected any less. Even so, hearing her speak my name, in the same way she once did in our life at the high school, made my heart come to a stop, feelings rushing in once again from all over, just waiting to ambush me.
"China," A smile came over me and she looked at me with such a sweet expression, holding her umbrella up high over her head. Man, was she cute. Her hair was cut again, the way it was when we first met. She looked younger that way, her face smooth and beautiful, without the use of products. Her eyes seemed to sparkle lightly from the light emanating from the lamp post behind us as she stepped closer, taking a seat on the wet bench beside me.
"What?" she asked, her voice becoming quizzical, "You look surprised to see me? Do I look that horrible?" she asked, putting a hand to her cheek, her small fingers only making her seem much more fragile then she let on. I laughed, and placed a free hand on her head, ruffling her hair like I always did. Despite the months, years that have passed, this still seemed so natural.
"Just surprised how much you still look like a kid, Kinder." I laughed since her reaction became disgusted soon after my sentence. As I expected, she decided to rant on, on how much I still looked the same as well. I don't think I really listened to too much of what she said. I was too into how natural this feeling of togetherness felt, even though deep in my heart I knew that this would only last the mere minutes that she stayed, sitting there on the rain drenched bench with me.
"Are you even listening to me?" she pouted, a smiled, sighing and shrugging.
"Seeing as its stuff you've told me many times before there's not much to listen to."
"You're mean." She said, but she was smiling. It felt just like old times, neither of us could deny that fact. "Anyways, since you obviously don't like to hear me talk, how have you been?"
"Alright," I started, leaning back, my coat soaking in the water from the bench. "College is a new ball game." I saw her expression soften as I said this. My heart fluttered, I wish I could take her face in my hand and place my lips on her, the way I've always dreamed of doing.
"How are you and Sayu?" I don't know why, but I sensed some bit of sadness in her voice when she asked this. I had to hold back the urge to hold her and tell her that she had nothing to worry about that I was all hers; that I had always been hers.
"We broke up shortly after graduation, it just didn't work out." I laughed at this, but I could tell that she didn't find it funny.
"You haven't changed one bit." She muttered, a forced smile overcoming her lips. I was reminded of our last actual conversation. She was mad at me, because I was always there to listen to her problems, but she hated that I wouldn't confide in her like she did with me. It not that I didn't want to, it just wasn't appropriate, not with the feelings I actually wanted her to know.
"I guess so."
It was quiet for a while, not awkward, just silent. For some reason, I felt like we were both thinking back to the same thing, for some reason I knew.
"I'm sorry." She told me, her face looking to the black asphalt, her expression sad and cautious.
"It's fine. It was my fault." I knew.
"You know," she stood up, my heart leaped, as if trying to reach for her, crying to tell her to sit back down and never leave me again. Of course, that was just a fantasy. "Looking back at it now, I don't regret anything during high school. You and Shindou, meant the world to me. I guess, time moves on I guess." Did this mean I didn't mean the same to her anymore? The thought scared me. I wanted to know, but I couldn't bring myself to ask. If I did, it would have sounded like a joke and that would have just made the situation worse.
"Yeah, it does." I felt stupid for giving her such simple answers when there was actually so much more that I wanted to say. The words this time, wouldn't leave me though, I was afraid, afraid of losing her completely.
"Yeah… Well, I should go," she started, smiling at me the way she always did her hands clutching the umbrellas as if she was holding on to her life.
"Oh right," I said, nodding as I stood up as well, she was still so short. She said bye, but I couldn't hear it, something was blocking out the sound around me. It wasn't until she was a few feet away that I noticed a sparkle on her wrist. At that, a temptation over flowed inside me, the item on her wrist calling out to me. I dropped my umbrella out of spite, letting it hit the ground as the water droplets from the sky began to cover me completely.
I don't know if I had called her name or anything, all the sound was still shut off, but she turned around just as I got close enough to grab her wrist, gently, and lift it up to see that I was right; she was wearing the bracelet that I had given her. Instinctively, I pulled her close, her umbrella falling to the floor, both of us being engulfed by the tears falling from the angels in the sky. My hand dug itself in her soft hair, her smell taking over all my senses.
"Haruka…?" her voice was the only thing that broke through the silence, muffled by the fabric of my shirt.
"Don't go…" I had no control anymore, I couldn't hide it anymore, she had to know, and I had to wish, that she still felt the same for me. "Please don't leave me again. I love you… I always have."
With that, I could feel her arms lift up and wrap themselves around me as she tried hard to muffle her cries in the wet material. "You idiot."
Natural.
That's how it should feel when you're with someone that you love. And at that moment, nothing else could have felt more right. I lifted her chin, gently, for the first time since I've met her, since I've realized how bad I wanted this, placed my lips on hers, and kissed her. With not a single bit of resistance, we stood there in the rain, protected only by each other's warmth from the bitter cold around us.
"I love you."
"I love you too," she said, a sincere smile finally placing itself on her lips, her tears were being washed away by the rain. At that moment, I realized, we were at the same spot that she had confessed to me those few years ago, tears streaming down her face as I held her close, trying to comfort her, trying to hold back all that I wanted to say.
Now finally, I had her, she was mine to hold and to kiss, and now I will never let go of her again.
I love you…
-End-