Notes: Beware of doom arc spoilers, beware of the crappy writing skills I possess and fear my grammar. nodu  

Disclaimer: I don't own Yu-gi-oh. End of discussion.

Sometimes, I wonder deeply for the reason behind the feelings for this blonde woman who hated to be dominated by her opposite sex. It wasn't her looks that captivated me in the first place, never mind the fact that she was beautiful. It was those eyes-, those violet orbs are what captured me. Whenever I found myself locked with them-, I see my own reflection. Her eyes were so much like mine. Everything about her seemed so tragic when I look into those glassy violet eyes. I see pain, nightmares, anger-, and maybe even fear.

Fear.

She was afraid, I could tell. I read from somewhere once that a person's eyes are the windows to your soul. I guess it's true, because when I gaze into those lilac eyes, I see a story. A story so much like mine, a story I knew by heart, a story so similar to my very own.

And we try to hide it all by saying that power was all that it mattered.

She tried to grasp victory in order to escape from the misery and shame of defeat. Yet, that wasn't enough, was it? Every time we gain victory at hand, we enjoy a few sweet moments of triumph. And when those seconds fade away, we are left with the hunger again. The same hunger that drove us forward for so long. And even after we triumph, this hunger refuses to subside. We lust after triumphs like a vampire, and at the end of every victory, we feel the thirst of another hunger for victory.

That's because we had no one to gain the victory for.

But she didn't understand that, didn't she? She didn't understand that without burdens on our back, we had no one to channel our victories through. We had no one to be victorious for. I was like that once. I lived in this world without a purpose. I had someone once, but that someone died so long ago that it seemed like a distant memory. And that someone died because I failed to protect her. I didn't want to have the same thing happening again. Not ever.

Not if I could prevent it. I had no intentions of making the same mistake again.

Her determination for triumphs drove her on, making her believe that that was all to it. For great power, victory was the only necessary step, challenge. She was strong that way this hunger for gaining greater power, she managed to fight on. Yet, sometimes I wished that she were the same vulnerable person I first met.

During that one rainy night.

She looked so helpless and vulnerable then. I wanted to help her-, and I did. I offered my help and the power of becoming a DOOM warrior to gain great power and I gave my promise to protect her. Forever. That was the first time that violet gaze trapped me. Under the illusions of the nightly street lamps and heavy rain-, she looked like a distorted angel.

That was when those eyes first struck me as being so much like mine.

She accepted my help, my support then, but after she became one of us, it seemed as if I couldn't protect her any longer. It was a foolish dream I was chasing after. She didn't need my support. She was strong alone. Yet, her insecurity took all of that away.

And there were times that I wanted to laugh at myself for my foolish actions.

What had made me feel this way towards her? What made her different from the others? I never felt this way before. To protect her-, I could give my life, everything. It didn't matter what it was, as long as it was enough to make her happy and satisfied.

But she didn't see it as the same way, didn't she?

When I held her in my arms after she nearly lost the duel to Jounouchi, I realized so much between the duel of her and Jounouchi. She had someone in her life before who had cared for her deeply. She had support and friends in her past life. And yet, if she did have all those people then why did she end up walking this path? What fear had grown in her that it became a limb and a limb that she was less than willing to part with?

She couldn't stand not being alone, couldn't she?

Can't she see that she needed closure? How can she be so careless? In life, there are times when there are no such things as second chances. When you mess up once, it's over. Just one mistake could mean everything.

Like her own life.

She was too careless. Her duel with Jounouchi proved that. It looked as if she was going to win at first, but he was a chosen one. She stood no chance. She couldn't win against one of the legendary dragons. The tide of the duel had changed ever since Jounouchi drew the dragon from his deck. I knew there and then that I have to help her, because if she lost this duel, it meant her soul.

Whether she appreciated my help was another story.

It bothered me not that I broke my arm in the process. It was worth it, wasn't it? I had saved her from losing her soul forever and that was all it matters, was it not? She didn't thank me, but I understood that. I understand how she is feeling, and felt no need to mingle into her mixed feelings towards Jounouchi.

And yet, I didn't want her to go.

What did it matter to me if she wanted to be alone? I respected her distance. But I don't want to see her hurt. I wanted to be there for her. I wanted to be the sun for her. Someone who can light up her day, lend her a hand when she stumbles along the way. But will she accept all that? Will she accept this devotion?

No. I didn't think she would.

Despite my arm, I rode my motorcycle after her. Our two vehicles headed straight at each other, halting in time with a mere inch from an accident. My arm ached with pain. But for her, it didn't matter. I fell to my knees and waited for the pain to go away. My action seemed to remind her of something, because I saw a mere flash of sadness and weakness in those violet eyes.

Those eyes were like mine.

And I told her I cared for her. I wanted her to be mine-, not a prize, not a possession either. Just someone I know I could care about and know is not taken. She wasn't an item. She was a human being. For her, I will defeat anyone-, even Dratz, Jounouchi and the pharaoh. Even them.

Just for her.

And I will prove it. Just my luck, a blonde girl and a black hair teen-, some of the pharaoh's friends came to seek revenge. I was ready to show her what I will do for her. Just for her I will continue to win. I allowed them to go two against me-, to their favor. I know I will win.

And I did.

What did they know of my source of will? What did they know of power? I doubt they understood the concept of that. They can't win against me. It's not in their place to do so. And when the duel was over, I turned to see her.

But she was gone.

Gone. The word echoed in my head like the endless chime of a gong being struck. I hate it when that happens. I hate it whenever she slips away. She was like an unreachable star. What did it matter she was here? She was gone at times. That was like her. To appear when the sun is gone and sunken and the night had fallen. And when the sun is up, she disappeared like the stars. Sometimes she was within my grasps-, and each time it seemed as if I let her go-, always lost in a daze. Why is it so confusing? Everything didn't make sense now.

But then again, when did life ever made sense?

I wasn't blind to the feelings she had for Jounouchi. I was willing to duel Jounouchi to see why she was attracted towards him. And I understood in that one duel what Jounouchi had; what she and I didn't possess. I understood that much and much more. I lost the duel. And yet, I didn't regret it.

That duel claimed my soul did it not?

But it was okay. It was okay for me to lose my soul. It is more than all right to know that Jounouchi cares deeply for her. Just knowing all that made me feel that losing my soul was worth it. I just have one request for Jounouchi.

Please take care of Mai.