AN: I do not own X-Men Evolution or the animated Mulan movies in any way, shape or form. X-Men Evolution, as well as any other versions of the X-Men, are owned by MARVEL, and the Mulan movies are owned by Walt Disney. In other words, I own absolutely NOTHING!!!!
Outside of an abandoned warehouse, the X-Men, Brotherhood, and Acolytes stood at three different doors, each on different sides of the warehouse. With an explosion blasting open their door, courteous of Gambit, the Acolytes entered and the other two teams rushed in.
"It's the goodie-goodies!" Avalanche exclaimed.
Looking around, Kurt makes an obvious observation of who was there. "Vat are ze Brozerhood and ze Acolytes doing here?"
"Father…" Wanda spits as she send a death glare at Magneto.
"X-Men! Prepare for battle!" Scott yells.
Ah have ta deal with both Pietro and the Swamp Rat. Great. Rogue thought bitterly. One of them's bad enough, but both? Gawd help me.
From behind one of the crates, a girl with short strawberry blond hair and teal eyes appears. "You think the lot of you would be use to being called to make a parity of movies and plays by now. But no, apparently you aren't!" the girl half snarled. Everyone looks at her in confusion.
"Who's the Sheila?" Pyro asks the question that was on everyone's mind.
"And why does she have a Minnesota accent?" Logan snarls.
"To answer Pyro's question, the-writing-vampire, at your service," the girl responded, making a slight courtesy. "As for yours Wolverine, this girl's Minnesota born and bred. Also, everyone here is here because of me, and a lovely play off of Disney's Mulan." Everyone but Kitty groans.
"Now, as for the cast," the-writing-vampire begins excitedly, "Not everyone has a part in the first parity, and I'm debating on some things in the sequel."
"Sequel? You're already planning a sequel?" Evan asks.
"Yes, yes I am." the-writing-vampire says with a smirk. "Now, for the part of Mulan, we have Rogue because I say so. Shang is Remy, as I think that Romy is just so cute and refuse to see Gambit with anyone but Rogue."
"WHAT?!?!" Pietro exclaimed, speeding to right in front of the-writing-vampire. "What-do-you-mean-by-that?!?!"
"Don't make a scene Mister. I have the power to write you into oblivion here," the-writing-vampire snapped with a death glare. "I'm debating whether to give you a part in the sequel," turning away, she continued. "Now, where was I?"
Looking at her cast list, the-writing-vampire moves on. "Oh yes, the guys. Chim Pou will be played by Piotr, Pyro is Ling, and Yao shall be Kurt, with the image inducer working."
"Vy does it matter if my inducer is vorking?" Kurt asked.
"Because you also get to play Little Brother," the-writing-vampire states flatly with a smile. "I thought the fact that you are actually Rogue's brother adds something to an obvious choice.
"Now then, moving on. Cricky is Toad. Although I don't like Bobby very much, I have casted him as Mushu," glancing over at Bobby, she adds: "Try not to mess it up, Snow-for-brains. The pyrotechnics will be worked with a lighter and some help from my favorite Aussie." Pyro begins to laugh manically. "I'm glad you're happy about that Pyro. Also, both Toad and Bobby have to be shrunk."
"What about, like, me?" Kitty asked, her eyes sparkling. "What's, like, my part?"
"I'm sorry, Kitty, there not a part of you in this one." Seeing Kitty's down hearted expression, the-writing-vampire quickly adds: "You do get a good part in the Sequel though. Can I not have any more interruptions 'til this is finished?" no one responded, so she just went on.
"Mulan's father is Logan, for the small fact that he is basically her fatherly figure. Mulan's mother will be Mystique." as if knowing someone was about to open their mouth to make a comment the-writing-vampire exclaimed: "I don't think any of you want to be sent through a wall, so I don't recommend back sassing the director!" Clamming down slightly, she adds: "The Grandmother will be played by Agatha, as I can't think of a character that looks like a grandma. The main ancestor will be played by Mastermind, with Irene, Blob, Storm, Forge and his holograms as the others.
"In interest of the sequel, Magneto will be playing the Emperor—"
"WHAT?!" Wanda screamed, hands glowing blue. "What does my father being the Emperor have to do with the sequel?"
"For the one of the reasons why I cast Pyro as Ling," the-writing-vampire adds with a smug smirk. "The part you will be getting in the sequel.
"Now then, for the sake of making fun of and torture, Scott is cast as Magneto's most trusted advisor, and Jean is cast as the Match Maker for the same reason."
"Will we never get a good part that doesn't involve being made fun of?" they asked at the same time.
"'Fraid not. Now if the interruptions are done, I have one last part to name before all of you find out who are extras," she states coolly.
"The part of Shen Yuu will be played by none other than our last remaining Acolyte, Sabertooth. The rest of you are extras.
"And for those of you wondering who the director is, that would be me. Any questions?"
"Why the hell are Mystique and I paired up?" Logan snarled.
"I'm sorry to say, but it's just because of the small fact that she's Rogue's mother and you're basically the person Rogue views as a father. Generally, I would pair her up with Magneto, but it works out this way here.
"Any other questions?" when no one made a move to ask, the-writing-vampire made a move to leave the abandoned warehouse. "I'll see you lot bright eyed and bushy tailed tomorrow morning."
With a flash, their director was gone.
"This is goin' to be another one of those crazy stories that goes on forever, ain't it?" Rogue asked Wanda and everyone's favorite Aussie and Cajun.
"Oui, moi Cherie. That is 'tis."