Disclaimer: I don't claim to own Card Captor Sakura. It is copyright to its respectful owners.
Title: 好きよ明け残る
Status: One shot.
Summary: While Yue thinks of the past, and the coldness of his own heart, Touya dreams of his own past, and feels like he can love again. Now the hardest part is being patient, and learning to let people into his heart, and at the same time letting them know that he means it.
Warnings: Light Shounen ai (Ｂｏｙ'ｓ Ｌｏｖｅ), honestly can't tell if there's any fluff o.o; ... kind of angst-y, of course.
Author's Comments and Notes: Erm. I surprised myself. I actually wrote a fanfic where I didn't keep building on it. I didn't say, "Well it would be cool if this happened, I can add this on too,"
I felt satisfied with what I was writing, and didn't feel the need to add anything overly special.
This is my first Card Captor Sakura fanfic. I do have another one I'm working on, slowly, with an odd pairing =p
If there's anything that doesn't match up right, just call it AU, mmkay? ^-^
Watching him sleep…the way the moonlight shone upon his hair, dyeing it a creamy black. He looked so peaceful in his sleep, while when awake he was always so serious. The only person he seemed to joke around with was Sakura…and Yukito. He always wondered what was going on behind that serious mask. When he looked through his hosts eyes…and into the boy's own. He could tell Yukito wondered too. Yue thought he had some idea. Because even though Yukito seemed to never let anything upset him, inside he always hurt. For himself, for Touya, even for people who might have hurt him in the past. That's where he and Yue were different. Yue never let anything that bothered him show through his expression. Nothing mattered to him other than surviving, and finding Clow. If he had to use this boy's body he was trapped in, so be it.
At least..that's what he used to think. Before he'd met Touya. This boy, who had made friends with Yukito, and was always smiling and comforting him. He'd hated him. From the very moment his host had began to think about him, Yue had decided there was something about him that seriously angered him.
Looking at the sleeping figured lying on the bed; he was close to figuring it out.
Clow had used to look like that. When he rested in his favorite chair…the moonlight had always seemed to shine right on him, lighting up his peaceful features. Then he'd always open his eyes and look right at him, and Yue would kneel before him to have Clow rest his hand on Yue's head. Then Kereberos would always come and beg for sweets…and Clow would always give in to the fluffy furball.
It was too painful; it reminded him of old times that could never be again.
They both had a new master now, and he lived to judge the girl, Sakura, and go on to serve her. But what then? What about after she was bored of Yue, and decided she wanted something new to play with? After all, wasn't that what Clow had done. Somewhere in his icy heart he knew that wasn't what Clow had meant for them to think, but he was still hurting. Yue had let his cold heart warm up to someone, and they had frozen it again. Just like that.
Yue looked quietly at the boy as he shifted slightly, facing him. This boy really did remind him of the slightly crazy Magician. Although he didn't think Touya was crazy. Just serious.
He would have continued hating this boy, who dared live on as though nothing was wrong, this boy who had power similar to his small though it was. But he could no longer hate him any more. Not while that power was inside of him now. His. That boy… who didn't even know him, had gave him his power without a second thought. But he thought he could understand. It was Yukito. It was because he knew that Yukito would disappear, so he offered to give up his power. Not for Yue…because Yue wasn't worthy of having a heart. For it was made of ice and no one could risk it breaking, because then Yukito would be hurt too…
For the first time in so long, he allowed his mask to slip. His eyes wavered slightly, and began to moisten. Burying his head in his hands, he let carefully pent up emotions attack him. It didn't matter to him where he was, or that Touya was only a heavy sleeper if he didn't sleep much, and not if he went to bed early like he had. Because once the dam is broken, there's no way to patch it back up.
The grief, the anguish of living for so long in the cold, dark, and lonely place. At first it hadn't mattered, he'd welcomed it like a blanket. But he'd let himself feel and this is what happened. He really was weak, and unworthy. He was sure there was no turning back now. He would live only to protect Sakura, and when she got tired of him he would disappear. It didn't matter that Sakura would die for him if she had too. He felt too far-gone to care.
Then there was warmth. Such warmth as he'd never felt before, wrapping him up into a warm embrace. It burned. He pulled away and looked up into the eyes of the one so close, yet so distant, to the one that he grieved over. And he was crying…??
__
Touya was having a very weird dream. He had been walking along a dirt path, and had come to a stop at a shrine. A very familiar shrine…with a cherry tree right in the middle. It called to him like it always did, but this time it was different. He should not have been able to feel it, because he'd given his power to Yue and Yukito so that they could live…
Of course all dreams had to have a reason for being there. Before he knew it, he was pushed up against the tree, with his ear against the tree's heart, and his hand resting beside it. It was really beautiful…listening to the heartbeat, feeling the warmth. It called to him begged him to come and rest eternally. He was too far-gone to care, and he could feel the limbs embracing him, coaxing him into a cocoon of warmth.
"No….not yet, Touya. It's not time to go." That voice…a face immediately rose in his mind, causing Touya to pull back and look around. He wasn't disappointed. Standing right there, so close, was Kahou. The one who had broken his heart those years ago…
"What…?" He whispered silently but was stopped as she came forward and embraced him into a hug. It wasn't an affectionate hug. Nor comforting. It just was.
"Don't be afraid Touya. I said that there would be someone else in your heart, and there is. Please, don't be afraid to embrace them. For they may need you more than you know." She whispered in that mysterious voice of hers. She pulled back and started to disappear. Touya vainly reached out to her, but she was gone…gone, again.
But this time he felt at peace. As though she had unbound him from something holding him back. He knew the pain would always be there, but he could move on.
Looking back to the tree where they, he and Kahou, had first met when he was so young, he didn't feel that tug anymore, just a silent whisper that seemed to encourage him, spurring him on.
~
His body urged him awake, pulling at his senses, and into the land of the living. Without opening his eyes, he could feel the familiar texture of the sheets underneath him, and see the moonlight waning away into a fuller moon. But there was something off, he could tell. There was something, someone, in the room with him. And it was sending little pinpricks at him. Which was freaky, because he didn't have his powers anymore, right. Right? Frowning with his eyes still closed, he tried to guess at who it was. All he could tell was that they were in pain and maybe even crying. He allowed his eyes to open slowly, and took in the site before him in shock.
There was Yue, in all his glory. Thing is, he looked miserable. His usual radiance was out like a light, his clothes looked more rumpled then flowing, and his hair looked disheveled. He couldn't see his expression, as his head was buried in his hands. And he was shaking, ever so slightly. Touya stared. What…? Why was he in his room? And in such a state? What time was it anyway..?! Judging by the moon, it seemed to be around the early hours of the morning.
Touya ever so quietly sat up and put his legs over the side of the bed. Yue didn't seem to notice. Touya frowned deeply. What was wrong with the usually stoic angel? So unlike him. Last time he'd saw him, he didn't seem the type to socialize or show emotions. So why was he in his room, overriding Touya's senses with such strong waves? For the first time, Touya could admit being scared. It scared him to see such a radiant creature that had seemingly had an icy, uncaring heart, crumbled before him. Without even noticing, he'd slipped off the bed and made his way over to the crumpled angel. And he embraced him.
__
Yue looked up at the source of such warmth that had scalded him, only to stare at awe at the patterns Touya's tears made down his cheeks. He succumbed to the urge and raised his hand, slowly, to run the tips of his fingers down the trail of tears. Looking at the wetness on his fingers, and Touya who looked just as surprised, he wondered if this was a dream. But he didn't dream, so that was not a possibility.
Touya almost frowned as Yue pulled away slightly and stared at him. It seemed that his touch was too scolding for one as cold as Yue. But he couldn't find it in him to be mad. Especially when said angel was running their soft fingers down his face. He stared down in surprise at the tears Yue had on his fingers, and immediately denied that they were his.
He slowly looked into Yue's eyes for the first time and saw the emotions he knew would never be shown again. Such grief, angst, and loneliness. He suddenly felt the same way and lowered his head. No way was he going to cry in front of someone who probably didn't like him. Suddenly, he wondered if Yukito was awake….gods he hoped not. What an embarrassing situation.
Yue looked up from staring at the tears on his fingertips, and into Touya's unfocused eyes. What he saw there touched him deeply, as nothing ever had before. For they were a mirror of everything that he himself felt. And he knew right then…that he wouldn't be able to forget about this boy, no matter if he erased Yuki's memories of him and ran way. For he would still remember. Who could forget?
And he knew right then, that he was falling. Right alongside Yuki, of course. Finally something that they both agreed on wholeheartedly. Except for food…
Touya stiffened in shock as he felt soft arms wrapping around him into a hesitant embrace, unsure. Touya was rigid for a moment, but after a moment he wrapped his own arms tightly around the figure, pulling him closer until they were practically one. He buried his face in the base of Yue's neck and nuzzled him. He blinked as he felt Yue wiggle slightly.
Yue wasn't as cold as he thought. He was actually rather warm..and what coldness there was, maybe that could be taken care of…
He almost pulled back as Touya sat rigid in his arms. But a moment later he felt strong arms wrap around him and pull him closer. He felt the warmth, but it wasn't so hot this time. It was familiar….and he didn't mind. For a moment he felt as though he were back in Clow's embrace, but this time it didn't bother him. From that moment on he knew Touya was the only one who could keep him warm.
He was completely thrown off balance when Touya nuzzled against his neck and he wiggled slightly. Only to have Touya do it again and he buried his own face into his chest, snuggling there.
Touya settled his head on Yue's shoulder and stared up at the moon. The moon was full now, and the stars were settled around it almost in a protective position, promising to stay there by her side for eternity.
Yue shifted slightly from his comfortable position and took Touya's face in his hands. And he pressed his lips right to the middle of his forehead, and Touya closed his eyes and smiled. Then there was a bright light and Yukito was staring straight at him in confusion.
"To-ya?" Touya looked at him with a gentle smile on his face and rested his hand against a warm cheek.
"Isn't the moon beautiful tonight? I doubt the stars can resist such beauty." Yuki followed his gaze and took in the wondrous site. He looked back to Touya and decided that nothing was more beautiful then being here, even though he was a bit confused at the moment…
"…un." He murmured and continued staring at the moon.
Touya smiled and took Yuki's hand, helping him up.
"Want to help me make an early surprise breakfast?" They smiled at each other and silently made their way down the stairs.
He could still see Yue behind Yukito's eyes….he decided that he wanted to protect them both, no matter what. He had a feeling Eriol had something to do with his magic returning…
「共有難うご座います。。。愛読～！」