A/N- This is for the One Line Competition, the To Be Or Not To Be Competition and the Secondary Character challenge. One Line- The water looked deep and inviting. To Be Or Not To Be- I did to jump, or not to jump. Secondary Character challenge, I picked Daphne and Blaise. Oh, and if you don't pick up on it, the guy from all the broken memories is Draco, and the bold italics are Daphne, plain italics are Draco.
Warning: Implied self harm, eating disorder, abuse, mental disorder, and attempted suicide. This is a dark one guys! Please don't forget to review!
The water looked deep and inviting.
To jump, or not to jump.
Daphne shivered violently as a gust of bitter January wind swept past her. The day was becoming dark, and it almost satisfied her, for it was nearly as black as her mind.
She teetered on the edge of the bridge, her heart thumping so strongly against her chest that it caused bullets of pain to rip through her body. It seemed to be as eager to jump into the icy water as she was.
Staring down at her shaking body, she was disgusted. She was always disgusted. Her skin was almost translucent, and appeared paper thin. She had no fat to shield herself from the freezing weather,there was a pattern of tiny lines engraved into the undersides of both her arms, and her tight clad and bony knees were knocking together.
He made her feel disgusted at herself. He made her hate herself. He made her turn to this.
By this point she knew she should have jumped. But some invisible force was restraining her from plunging into the murky blue depths and departing from this world. Her mind was long gone and now she needed her body to escape too.
She wished someone cared about her, that someone didn't want her to do this. That in some sort of miracle he would realize the harrowing pain she was experiencing and come and save her, because after everything she still loved him.
Her mind was distorted with the voices attacking her from the inside, because she was never enough - it was so full of emptiness. It reminded her that she was inadequate, that she would not be loved, that she would never be happy, that she would never be pretty. She hated herself because she hated her mind, she didn't know how it was expected that she stay alive.
She screamed in anguish to the darkness that was now incarcerating her, void of anything. There was nothing to live for. No reason to keep going through this searing pain that had chained itself around her mind and was weighing her heart down. No one cared.
She was leaving.
Stretching her trembling, emaciated arms to either side of her, she took a deep breath which caused a sharp pain to fire through her.
10 seconds…
"You're cheating on me."
"No darling, of course I'm not."
Hollow promises.
"I love you."
Empty words.
Biting your lip until it bleeds.
"She only knows what I want her to."
She breathed in and out, trying to keep her lungs filled. Pain shot through her with every single breath.
9…
"I can taste her on you!"
Door slamming.
Walking out.
"Shut up."
Whimpering from the need to kiss him.
"I'm sorry. I love you."
Filthy lies.
8…
Warm tears slid down her face, making it sting because of the startling contrast in temperature.
7…
"One day, we'll have lots of beautiful babies. They'll be nearly as beautiful as you."
Scared to utter the fact that you don't want kids.
"I've cancelled your job. You don't need a job."
That menacing, controlling smile.
Blinking back tears.
Smiling but not really knowing if it's real.
Blood trickled down her chin and she realized she'd done that thing where she would bite down so hard on her lip that it would bleed. She would do it so she wouldn't cry in front of Draco -She still couldn't help but think about him even though she was about to kill herself because of him! She knew she shouldn't love him, after everything, but she did. It throbbed through her every fiber and it was agonizing.
6…
Turning away, scared.
"Leave me alone."
Tears.
"What's wrong?"
Always tears.
"Hold me."
Pathetic pleading.
Walking out.
Coming home in the dead of night.
5…
That was what she wanted - no - needed - someone to hold her, to saturate her with warmth and love her. She rapidly blinked back more tears and bit down on her now bloody and fleshy lip.
4…
"You're never home."
A soft peck.
"I love you."
Lies. All lies.
Voices crawling their way in and slicing at your skull.
Empty bed.
Amazing cooked breakfast for him.
Angry words.
You coax him into bed.
The less he gives the more he gets back.
She hatehatehated him but her heart thumped and her blood pumped for him. She stared at the brownish bruises encircling her wrists.
3…
Soft touches.
Lustful eyes.
Passionate kisses.
Crying.
Slaps.
"You will listen to me!"
A vice like grip.
Bruises.
"Even if you had a choice, you would still choose me."
Taunting.
Smashing glasses, plates, anything to release your anger.
Cutting. Cutting everything. Cutting yourself. Causing pain on the outside to kill the monster on the inside.
2…
"I'm leaving you."
"Y-y-you can't."
"I can." –
"-Daphne? Daphne baby…what the hell are you doing?" A familiar voice spoke from the darkness, but it wasn't him.
She jerked suddenly at the sound of the voice, tripped backwards, landing with a thump on her back a causing an agonizing pain to throb through her. She curled up, biting her near mutilated lip so as not to cry.
"Daphne… Daphne what the hell? You look dead!" She knew it was Blaise as he cast a lumos spell.
"I should be dead. I am dead, in every sense of the word- just not physically," She spoke in a monotone, the coppery taste of blood starting to invade her mouth.
"What has that Malfoy bastard done to you now?" He growled, pulling her limp body into his warm arms.
"He- he- he- he- he- he… he left me." She gulped back a sob.
"I can't believe what he's done to you. Shit. This is my fault." His face crumpled and he rubbed a hand across it.
"It's not your fault," She said blankly, staring straight through him.
"It is. Oh Merlin, why are you so thin? What's happened to your lip? Why are your arms like that? Daphne, please don't do this, come with me," He pleaded as she struggled weakly in his arms.
Her eyes were starting to droop as a result of her sleep deprivation, and the pains shooting through her body were starting to make it a struggle to breathe. "Why would you want me to come with you? No one cares."
"To save you. To keep you alive. To be truthful. I do care, Daphne… I'm pretty sure I care more than anyone. If you wanted me to jump off that bridge with you, Merlin knows I would do it." He held his wand to her bleeding lip and healed it. "Stop biting."
"Why would you do that?" She still wasn't looking at him.
"I don't think I can tell you… right now." He frowned.
"Then I want you to let me jump off that bridge." She was wheezing now, as the icy air invaded her lungs and tore them apart.
"I… Merlin, this is going to sound so ridiculous. You're trying to commit suicide, and I'm going to tell you that I love you. Not how I imagined it."
"You love me?" She whispered as the pains began to overcome her.
"Shit. Yeah… Just don't worry about that right now. Daphne, you are so ill, you need professional help. Can I take you to St. Mungos? Please?"
"I want to stay with you." Her face crumpled. She had barely seen this man through the years yet she suddenly felt as if he was the only person she would ever be safe with.
"I will be there with you the whole time, I promise."
"When I'm better… we can talk."
"We can talk."