One day, while taking a walk through the palace, Lu Xun heard someone yelling in the study chamber. He tip-toed down the partly lit hallway, in hopes of finding out what all the fuss was about. He put his ear on the door, and heard Da Qiao and Sun Ce arguing about something he said at a party with the other generals of Wu (which includes Sun Ce and the others being drunk). Da was coming in the room and she overheard a conversation on Diao Chan's breast. Amazingly (yeah right) enough, Ce started the conversation.
"I distinctly remember you telling ME that I was the most beautiful woman in the land!" Da screamed.
"I did say that. And you are. But you don't wear a size 34C1/2." De replied, thinking he was making it better.
Lu Xun then heard a SMACK. Just then, Da opened the door and Xun (who was leaning against the door) fell in.
"How dare you eavesdrop!" Da Shouted.
She smacked his face as well and stormed to the kitchen to eat her weight in chocolate. Lu Xun felt his cheek, which was by now very sore and red. He decided it was in his best interest to go to the market for two reasons.
1) He needed herbs for his face.
2) Sun Ce has bigger hands and more muscle.
He had been walking for about 40 minutes when he finally spotted the market place. He walked up to Dr. Mihou's stand and got some numbing herbs. One he applied them vigorously to his face; he decided to buy some new ruby gems and dove feathers to brim his hat. He was walking up to the embellishment stand when he saw something that made him piss his pants.
Lu Bu was standing at the embellishment stand buying two peacock feathers. After he purchased them, he kills the person selling the items. He then took his money back from the dead man and kept on walking. Xun stood there for about 3 seconds to try together what had just happened. When he found out what he needed to say, he same to the conclusion that is sucks to be the good guy.
"Hey Lu Bu! It is not honorable to steal from the dead." He said half heroically, half so nervous his legs shook.
Lu Bu replied "Well, if you pretend you didn't see anything you can have all that was on this here cart."
Lu Xun pondered his options:
1) Be the good guy and get his butt handed to him.
2) Take thousands of dollars in jewelry and live a long life full of happiness and women.
"I'll take the cart please." Xun said very, very, VERY sure of his decision.
"Ah, I like you style kid... do you wanna come to the Pub with me, have a few drinks?" Lu Bu said.
Once again Xun had to study his options. "Yeah, let's go."
The next morning when he woke, he was laying in a stable, next to a pile of horse, ahem, dung. He abruptly stood up and hit his head on a board. Upon further investigation, he found that Da Qiao and Sun Ce were standing above him, board in Sun Ce's hand.
He stood up. He had the worst hangover of his life (it was actually the only hangover he has had in his life.
"You dumbass. You don't remember anything that happened last night do you?!" Ce Said.
"No, I don't I don't think I want to know either." Xun replied.
Da replied "Oh no... I think you would want to know why you are standing there in only you undergarments and Zhou Yu is behind that stables smashing pumpkins with an axe and wishing it is your head."