Anyone who saw Alec at this moment would assume his intent gaze was a sign of professionalism. The cold stare of a trained operator.
But that's the thing about being covert -- you suss out other people's secrets by being good at keeping your own. Even if you're not there for any mission, even if you're just there for some stupid-ass reason you'd rather not even admit to yourself... the training's always there. And so even though no one could see Alec, even though his surveillance procedure was flawless and there was no possible way he might be detected, Alec's exterior stayed calm and businesslike despite the swirl and rush that was going on inside of him. His training wouln't let him do less.
That's why the breath Alec let out seeing Logan run his tongue down Max's neck and chest didn't make a sound.
That's why Alec bit his lip instead of moaning as Max shed her black T-shirt and indigo-lace bra, and reclined on the couch. That's why Alec sat silent as a stone as Logan leaned over to kiss a line from Max's navel to between her breasts, then moving over to place his mouth on her left nipple. Alec's perfect vision allowed him to see that Logan was using just a glimmer of teeth, and he didn't need his psych training to know what Max's arching back and dilated pupils meant.
Alec knew he shouldn't be doing this. As Max and Logan kissed on the lips again, Alec told himself that he should look away, get out of there. Max would kill him if she found out. And Logan would act smug and superior about it, which actually might be worse. Not to mention that Alec really didn't need to torture his own body this way.
But as Max lifted Logan's shirt off of him, when she gently pressed his body down onto the soft cushions of Logan's couch and moved to straddle his hips, Alec knew that he wasn't going to leave.
And Alec was there to watch them. To find some ounce of pleasure, vicarious or otherwise. But then of course... there was the training. And so even his voyeurism was performed like a high-stakes mission. He was doing surveillance. And so he couldn't help but gather the information that was available to him.
In this case, the information made it even harder for Alec to think of them as just two random hot bodies. I t was the kind of information that thrashed around his insides, picking up pieces of guilt and longing and some less easy things as it went. Information that made him feel that he was gaining intimate knowledge of them, and not just physically intimate.
Logan was cautious. There was fear but it was matched with equal parts courage. Probably knew that sudden movements were a big no when it comes to supersoldiers with traumatic pasts. Not that there were any other kind of supersoldiers.
And Logan was attentive. Watching her every change in mood or intent, observing her better than Alec could, even with his psych-ops seduction training. Logan knew her well, it was obvious. And he was adaptable, could take the lead or lie back and be led by her, depending on her impulse. He was responsice, smiling to encourage her whenever she was unsure, giving her exactly the feedback she needed.
Alec felt something at this observation, some messy knot of things. Jealousy that Logan, who should have nothing in common with Max, could be so adept, could smooth over all the awkwardnesses and hesitations and press on to each new step. Gratitude that Logan would do whatever is necessary to be with a transgenic, would deal with the Manticore crap but not let it affect how he sees his partner.
And Alec could see also that Max was being very careful with Logan. Gentle even when forceful. And again: jealousy. Because even if hell froze over and he actually managed to sleep with Max, she would never be gentle with Alec. But still... Alec felt proud somehow of Max, that she could let her guard down for someone. And he felt warmed, comforted for some reason, by the delicacy of her careful touch.
Seeing them come together, seeing them take care of each other as they brought their bodies and minds to climax and perfect closeness, Alec learned more about them than he ever thought he would know.
Alec came here to watch them. To get them out of his system. To have a good laugh and a great rub-off, and nothing more.
But try as he might, he could never escape his training.
Originally written for comment_fic at livejournal
Prompt was Alec watches Max/Logan.