Magical Jewel
By: Miyuki Usuki
A/N: I haven't given up on Saishou Kesen yet, it's just that Totepo is giving me a hard time. Who would have imagined, neh? Also, this doesn't go along with my other stories; please read it as though it were independent, because it is. ~_^ Enjoy!
Disclaimer: I do not own "Kirai ni Narenai" (I Can't Hate You), sung by Ayumi Nakamura, lyrics and composition by Ken Takahashi. It belongs to them. Not me. Also, Celipa and team aren't mine; they're Toei's and Toriyama's and not Funimation's. Funimation holds the rights to Fasha and team, not Celipa and team. There's a difference. ^_^
"I want to hate you, but I can't hate you
My heart is indecisive all the time
The veil of the night sky, what a vast world
At any time, you can see yourself the least"
You're too good at keeping secrets, but I shouldn't be complaining. I won't be complaining, since I would appreciate you not to blurt out everything I'm about to tell you. Then again, you wouldn't, so I shouldn't make you take "The Oath". So I won't. After I finish telling you what I need to tell you, you will understand why. I don't think you'll understand why I think it's important, though.
It's probably not important, not even to me, but I need to tell someone about how I feel! You're the one I feel most comfortable talking to; after all, this is concerning everybody, even you. You're the only one who won't ridicule me for telling you something that you may already know. I know for sure Bardock knows how I feel towards him, Panboukin could care less, and Toma, well, I hope in a way that he doesn't know. And I don't feel comfortable telling him any of my feelings to him.
Yes, it's exactly how it sounds. It may sound like a mere teenage crush thing to you, but don't forget that I am only two years out of that stage. I still have the freedom to like him that way with the "immature" feelings that you may think how it really is. The only difference is that I hope and aiming for something to really happen instead of just fantasizing with it...
Anyway, guess I had better get started and not waste any more of your time than I have to. You may be the anti-social type, but I'm sure you have better things to do than to listen to me babble. Admit it. I can annoy you, can't I?
Heh. You don't need to use words to get me comfortable with the fact that I'm not wasting your time. It's one of the skills you have--but why are you so quiet all the time? Is it because you're afraid that you might say the wrong thing that would get the rest of us to think that you aren't as intelligent as we think? Is it because you have nothing to say most of the time? Or are we so less mature than you are that you don't understand exactly why we do and say the things we do?
If it makes you feel any better, that's not what I think the reason is. I think you're just a very respectful guy, and you believe that we are all entitled to our own opinions. You don't want to say anything to offend us. Well, you shouldn't worry about that; hell, you've seen how the other three are sometimes and how I respond to that. Then again, when we say disrespectful things it's always a joke. When you say them, it may not be meant as one.
Let's put it this way: if it weren't for you, those three would break down, and I don't know where we'd be. Perhaps like the rest of our comrades in the bar doing nothing but...
Never mind.
Well, I covered you. You're respectful, quiet, good at keeping secrets, and mysterious. Mysterious is always good; it can cause fear in your victims well.
As for Toma, well, he'll be last.
Oh yes, why not start off the other three with our oh-so-lovely commander Bardock? Yes, the Bardock who is going to be a father soon. The Bardock who isn't showing much interest into his soon-to-be son. Damn it, it's his first son; shouldn't he be looking forward to it? Cold-hearted bastard.
Don't you think it'd be interesting to see Kinoko make Bardock baby-sit, though? I know I'll be laughing. I look forward to the day!
See? You know how to have fun. You can find things amusing. Everybody has it in them, even Bardock.
What he needs, though, is the knowledge of how to have real fun! For instance, he needs to lighten up and get a good sense of humor! Have you realized that around us, Bardock only has fun when we're purging a planet? That's the only time he shows that he's happy! He needs another hobby; sure, the killing's fun, but he takes everything about his life too seriously otherwise!
You know, sometimes I wonder why I even had the slightest interest when I was younger--not even a teenager yet--to be involved with him. He doesn't like kids, and looking at him now he doesn't seem to be the kind of father I want for my kids. Too uptight. He isn't even someone I want just as a lover! He's best for me only as a friend. Nothing more. You know that the only reason why I have more fun with Panboukin and Toma is because they know how to have other than just purging!
Still, he has his qualities. Battle-smart, great commander, good friend, stuff like that. A little too strong to be a low-level soldier. Attracted to injuries--or is it the other way around? Well, it sure does test Toma's stability a lot every time we get home from a planet--or even a regular fight around here!
Have you noticed that Toma's perhaps the only one of us who is worried about Bardock from the very first scratch until he gets out of the tank? I reckon he's the only Saiya-jin who does that to anybody! Those two are closer than I have ever seen two Saiya-jins get. Hell, even closer than two lovers! Now that scares the hell out of me. I wonder what would happen if Bardock died on a purging mission. How would Toma react, I wonder. And the other way around; would Bardock go insane if Toma died?
It's always interesting to see such a tight relationship between those two; you never know how they're going to act to the other's downfalls.
As for Panboukin, well, he really is a fun guy to be around. Unlike Bardock, he knows how to have fun both during the job, after, before, and even when purging isn't even involved! Panboukin is also very skilled at many things that helps with the missions. He's pretty damned fast; of course, you know that already. We've all seen him a thousand times; it's hard for him to lose to someone other than Bardock and Toma, and even you sometimes!
He also has a worse temper than Bardock's. It's amazing at how many mood swings a male can have; I also thought it was women in labor who had that problem. Or women who have a bad case of "that time of month". Well, it's probably not as bad, but I haven't seen Kinoko since before she got pregnant. How am I supposed to know, right? I do know about "that time of month", though; I am a female, remember?
Are you sure that I'm not tiring you? I'm kind of tiring myself with all this talking. How long has it been since I got here? Half an hour, I'm assuming. Maybe more. Are you sure you want me to continue?
Yet again I should have known that I shouldn't ask, but if you're respectful to me, why can't I be respectful to you? An eye for an eye, as they say. Well, there's another trait for you: you're patient. Patience is a very hard skill to achieve; you ought to be proud that you have it while most of us don't.
Anyhow, I was on Panboukin, wasn't I? What part of him was I on? Well, I was just talking about patience, so why not start there? After all, Panboukin may be the definition of impatient. I wonder, do you think that he and Bardock could be related somehow? After all, the only difference in personality I see between the two of them is that one can have fun while the other can't. You think they could be related?
Well, it's possible. To you it may sound just like a joke, but I think I'm going to look into it sometime after this if I'm not worn out from talking.
Or could I just stop here? Now that you know how I really feel about Toma, I'm thinking that I should stop here. Perfect place I think. It was nice talking to you; you're a good listener. Yet another trait to add to the list.
No, no, I can't leave yet. I wouldn't feel right if I just left with this conversation being incomplete.
Toma is, well, Toma is--damn it. Well, he's a nice guy. And I do mean nice. After all, isn't he the one who gets worried every single damned time that one of us--especially Bardock--gets into a violent squabble? Have you ever noticed him preoccupying himself into a state of concern every time one of us--especially Bardock--is in the tank when he has nothing else to do? If it weren't for us, the ones who aren't in the tank, to help Toma through those tough times, he'd probably have a nervous breakdown.
Toma may be a nice guy, but like Panboukin, he knows how to have fun. Sure, sometimes his taunts can get annoying--I guess he isn't totally a nice guy--but it's all for the fun. Still, I'm surprised that Bardock hasn't strangled Toma for making a joke about something that Bardock loathed so much he can't stand it or something that he was touchy about. Maybe Toma never did tease him about that, I don't know, but it does add flavor to our conversations, don't you think?
I wonder, do you think that Toma would care for a family if he had one? It's nice to imagine he would; I always do. Er, well, I guess it doesn't matter if I said that or not; you already know that I... never mind.
Well, I'm finished now. I'm satisfied, at least. When do you think our next mission will be? It's been five months since we have been on one; I'm starting to get restless...
Totepo knew that Celipa wasn't really finished, but he didn't say anything. If she wanted to stop, she could stop. It was getting to the point of uneasiness for her, for she was close to saying how she really felt about Toma. But Totepo could only guess that she wanted to start a family with him someday. He had nothing telling him otherwise.
He didn't even know what crossed Celipa's mind to even begin this conversation. It couldn't have been that her adoring feelings towards Toma, could it? Considering what Celipa had said, she must have had those feelings for a long time now. Perhaps during her adolescent years?
Of course! Though Celipa probably didn't know herself the reason why she started this conversation, Totepo knew now. Unfortunately, it was probably one of the most impossible desires that she could ever dream of fulfilling, for not many people ever find out the truth about themselves in a respectful amount of time.
Magical jewel... everything that you want
Seems to be clouded more than your dreams