Darkness and Light

Ichigo laid down on his bed, contemplating over how long it had been since Aizen betrayed the Soul Society. Growling, he turned on his bed, placing his left hand on the side of his face, brown eyes slowly shutting, biting his lower lip. It's been too long, but…then again, it hasn't. Breathing out a sigh, he released his swelling lower lip, turning so he was on his back, recalling everything that happened, his mind traveling onto the fact that he was now a full-fledged, trusted shinigami to the Soul Society. A deputy shinigami. Geez, and all this started because I wanted to save my family.

Ichigo lifted his head slowly, panting as he winced slightly, questioning in the back of his mind why he was alive, recalling that he'd almost been sliced into two. Biting his lower lip, he felt sweat drip down his face as his brown eyes gazed up to Aizen, who was holding Rukia up by the collar around her small neck, his spiritual pressure having gotten to her.

"Poor thing. He's still conscious."

Seeing those purple eyes widen, he recognized that he should've died on the spot after that blow.

"Your will to live exceeds your skills. But it's working against you now." Aizen sighed, frowning as his left hand held onto the ring around the raven haired girl's neck. "I wouldn't push myself too hard, though. Your backbone is the only thing holding the two halves of you together."

That's right…if not for Orihime…I would've died. he thought bitterly as he sat up after opening his eyes, placing his right hand against his abdomen, which was tingling insanely. The feel of the blade slicing through his belly returning, making him shudder as he looked down on his socked feet. Swallowing deeply as his eyes slid halfway shut. But…because of me…that bastard got the Hogyoku. Now we gotta deal with arracar because of me…me…

Placing his left hand against his face, he bent those slender fingers, digging his nails gently into his skin, making small crescents form in his pale flesh. "Dammit all…"

Hearing a knock at his window, he slid it open, seeing Renji pop his head in, a serious look on his face. "Ichigo…I've heard from Orihime that…" he stopped, noticing the broken look on the orange haired teen's face, making him frown deeply, hoisting himself up and over the edge, plopping himself next to the orange haired teenager, looking at him sternly. "What's the matter?"

Those brown eyes the teen owned looked away from the redhead. "Nothing, just tired."

"It's midnight, so I guess that would make sense…but," Renji said, placing a hand on the pale form's shoulder, "you look like you've got a lot of stress eating at you, so…talk to me."

He was never good at being nice, nor was he able to show appreciation, or how to thank someone. Yet Ichigo could tell what he was getting at, looking down on the wooden floor with a deep sigh.

"It's just…you know, this whole thing with that fucking Aizen, these arrancar, having to deal with Hollows twenty-four seven…and that each time I try to sleep, I hear that familiar voice that makes my skin crawl…telling me to 'surrender the throne, King' or something close to that."

Renji nodded slowly. He had to watch the teen get split in half, actually astonished the boy actually made it out alive. "Yeah, I kinda get where you're coming from."

"And…my stomach is still bothering me." the eldest Kurosaki sibling added, looking down on it, those reddish-brown eyes trailing down as well, bandages still wrapped around the flesh. "I'm being driven insane over this, and I don't know what to do."

"Well…now I understand why you've been out of it for a while."

Ichigo laid back, resting his head on the pillow, eyeing the shinigami pendant he received from Ukitake, a saddened look on his face as the voice came back to taunt him, making fun of his fighting skills, anything it knew would anger the young shinigami. Closing his eyes, he groaned, waving a hand at the confused Abarai.

"Can you leave? I don't feel so good, it may be contagious." he huffed, wanting to cry because of the pain that wrapped around his heart. He caused the elimination of the Seritei soon to come, ruined everyone within the Soul Society's lives, scarred himself a million times over, and almost got Renji killed over getting Rukia away from the execution grounds. Still feeling the red haired Zabimaru possessor's gaze on him, he groaned. "Go away, pineapple-head."

Growling, the fukutaicho cracked the window open, leaping out without a word, leaving the teenager to his lonesome, lifting his head after a while, his gaze on the digital alarm clock, seeing that it was twelve twenty.

Dammit all… he thought bitterly as he tossed himself onto his back. I need a new hobby…wasn't there a dance thing at school? Hmm… Everyone always told him to do dancing, since he usually fought, which looked like he was making fluid motions that should be pressed onto the dancing subject. I guess I'll take them up on that. He sighed from defeat. Shutting his chocolate eyes, the water-like voice whispering into his ear, cackling as he relocated his hands from his sides onto the pale form's shoulders. It felt like it, making Ichigo gasp out from the almost tender touch. Go away, I don't know why you're here…but go away, vanish…

"Hmm…that's pretty mean, King,"

The boy turned so he was facing the door, the cold air striking his back, never letting up, demanding he pay attention. Which he slightly was, trying his hardest to ignore the threats whispered into his ear.

"Don't ignore me…if you do…I'll slit your throat,"

That was a regular routine one.

"I'll slaughter all your friends…"

Another regular.

"I'll take over and make you kill your family,"

That was a new one, making Ichigo shudder, his mother's death returning to memory, then he quickly noted who killed her. That goddamned Grand Fisher bastard. Growling, he cursed whoever this voice belonged to, damning them to Hell. Only receiving a sickening screech, angered at the fact that he had the guts to damn him.

"In fact…I think I'll do that,"

"Leave my family alone, you bastard,"

"Then don't ignore me,"

The orange haired shinigami screwed his eyes shut, his nose scrunching up angrily, wanting nothing but sleep. "Why do you torment me each night?"

"Because you're a bore when you're awake, I like the tortured look on your face,"

He opened his eyes, standing and walking over to his desk chair, sliding it out and sitting down, flicking on the desk lamp, flipping open a notebook, whipping out his black pen. Beginning to write down words as the voice hissed, ignored once again. Volume rising as the boy continued to ignore it as it taunted him, threatening to the best of its ability.

"Don't ignore m-"

Ichigo furrowed his brows, concentrating on his writing, after all, tomorrow was Sunday, and nothing was supposedly going on, yet, he prayed deep inside that something would, just to distract him from those words.

XXXX

Yuzu walked into Ichigo's room with a huff, spatula in hand. Opening the door and looking over at the orange haired teen, she had a saddened look on her face, seeing dark bags underneath his eyes, remembering all the moans from another sleepless night, making her reach up with her free hand, placing it over her heart. "Poor Ichi-"

"Good morning---"

"Daddy! No!" she cried, quickly whapping him upside the head with the cooking utensil, causing him to fall to the floor, looking at his sweet innocent daughter with wide eyes. "Ichigo needs his sleep!" she hissed, pointing the spatula at the dark haired man accusingly. "Don't wake him up! He had another sleepless night!" Pulling the utensil back to her side, she sighed, turning and walking out as Isshin whimpered and whined about how much the strike hurt, following her like a little child who was caught having their hand in the cookie jar.

What they hadn't noticed was the fact that Ichigo stirred from his nightmarish slumber, groggy like always, rubbing his eye with his left hand. "Geez…I'm still tired," he sighed, "at least it stopped…anyway I'm hungry." He stood, reaching over onto the nightstand, lifting his skintight white shirt up and placing it over his revealed, vulnerable, torso. Turning, he noticed that his door was open, quirking an orange brow from curiosity.

Shrugging, he walked out with a sigh, looking over at his side, the sinking feeling that someone was near him. Shuddering then, he concluded he was slowly losing whatever sanity he had left. Deprived of sleep, the voice going on and on twenty-four seven, the doom of the Soul Society, and almost everything in his life, life was pure shit now.

"King…" the voice once again whispered as the orange haired teen narrowed his eyes, looking forth and walking down the stairs. "I let ya sleep without the nightmares…now entertain me,"

"Go away," he hissed angrily as he stood at the end of the steps, his brown orbs glancing over at his family, his father rubbing his hand as he quickly ushered away from the dessert Yuzu was cooking, not allowed to lick the bowl clean, being smacked with a wooden spoon. "Morning," he said in a low, tired, tone.

Karin looked up with her usual bored expression, nodding as she went back to the pancake she was eating, the soft-brunette sister walking over and placing a plate full of food in front of the eldest Kurosaki sibling, who thanked her and began to eat slowly, yawning a bit, yet quickly ducking his head from an on-coming kick from his, ever so loving, father.

"Need to work on your aim, old man," he sighed, going back to his meal.

"I'm bored," the water-like voice persisted, a soft growl emitting from the orange haired teen. "Stop being a bore and fight me."

Standing up, he scooted the chair out, stepping away from the one-fourths finished meal, only having eaten the hash browns. Yuzu watching with a worried gaze, Isshin rubbing his chin from the kick he got from an aggravated Karin, and the dark haired girl looking up from her new soccer ball, eyes full of confusion. "I'll be in my room…studying, come get me when you need me," he explained, walking towards the stairs and disappearing once he turned the corner.

"Poor Ichigo…" the soft eyed girl whispered to herself, her brows furrowing into the worried position. Karin, noticing this, walked over, leaving a bleeding Isshin on the floor, placing a hand on her sister's shoulder. "Karin?"

"Tch, he's probably getting over breaking up with some girl, he'll get over it." she sighed, shaking her head.

Nodding slowly, Yuzu looked down on the ground, then back at the dessert, their father trying to sneaking another taste. Smacking his hand once again with the wooden spoon. "Don't sneak a taste! Wait until it's done!!" she scolded as crocodile tears slid down the man's face.

XXXX

Ichigo sat down on his desk chair, slipping headphones over his ears, blasting his music, greatly irritating the persistent voice.

"Throw it away! Forget yesterday! We'll make the great escape!!" was heard through the speakers. Ichigo's brown eyes scanning over a comic book of a comedy and horror. Sighing as he shut it, leaning back in his chair, the squeak making him slowly close those brilliant eyes. "They don't know us anyway…throw it away! Forget yesterday! We'll make -"

"I'll make a hood ordainment out of whoever sings this crap's head!!!" the voice cried out, simply pissed that the shinigami was both ignoring him and listening to an annoying song. Then another one came, the pale boy actually mouthing the words, too tired to think about how weird it looked just mouthing the lyrics.

"It's not over; let's try to make it right this time around,"

"Turn this shit off!!!"

"Let it out, let it out, let it out, don't get caught up in yourself…"

"Please!!! I'm beggin' ya! My ears are bleedin' t' death!!!"

"Let it out…it's not over…"

"Ah, well…I suppose I can tell you……now that it's all over." Aizen said coldly, turning towards him, releasing Rukia's collar, Gin grabbing it then. "Are you aware that Soul Reapers have four basic combat methods? They are Zanjutsu, Hakuda, Hoho, and Kido. Each of these disciplines requires a certain level of power. But in attempting to master any of those methods, one eventually hits a wall determined by one's potential."

Ichigo slowly raised his head, a shocked look slowly fixing its way onto his face.

"Improvement stops short at that point. All Soul Reapers have these limits. But could it be possible……to break through the walls? It is…but only by one means."

Ichigo was slightly up off the ground, laying in a pool of his own blood.

"It's called……Hollow-fication."

The young Kurosaki's eyes widened painfully, recalling the mask he tore off his face after battling Byakuya. Sweat slipping down his face, mouth slightly agape.

His mind drifted off to other subjects, like how he was going to get his school work done with the, almost, constant Hollow attacks. He was tired beyond human recognition, unable to understand a bit of what was going on around him. Yet, the sanity he had beneath this ongoing insanity kept him straight, not fretting over the little things, only the big.

Licking his dry lips, he took in a shaky breath, slowly opening his eyes, seeing the ceiling stare back. Why'd it have to be this way? He reached his left hand up, grabbing onto a round speaker to the headphones, pulling them off with a sigh, depression filling his usually bright orbs, which were dull that they could probably turn black. Setting the electronic device down, he looked down, turning his walkman with a built in radio off, his lips placed in a very thin line. Having lost weight in over a week. Why do I…always ruin everything? I try to fix it to the best of my ability and…things end up worse than before…

Chuckling in an odd way, he stood, bringing his shoulders up, hands raising slowly, bursting out in laughter as he threw his head back. "I'm such a dumb ass…" he spoke with a sick grin, lowering his head after the laughter died out, his shoulders still shaking. "Really…I really do ruin everything…heh…heh…"

"Finally cracked, ne?"

"Does sanity even exist?" he asked to no one in particular, turning as if someone would stare back. "Honestly…fuck that…I'd rather die. Oh, wait…I can't, 'cause I don't wanna die. Too fucking afraid to be laid to rest…ah…" He turned his head towards the window, the morning sun shining brightly as he walked over to his bed, clumsily plopping himself onto it, truthfully freaking the owner of the strange voice out. "Life's so grand…ain't it? No shit…"

"Okay…I get it, you're freakin' out, calm down now, King, you're beginnin' t' creep me out…"

Shutting his eyes, he continued to mumble, grumble, mutter, and talk to himself, laying himself on the bed with a wide crazy grin. "Yeah…why don't I just die?"

He blinked, feeling those hands on his shoulders again, and knowing no one would be there, he didn't bother to turn around, yet slightly relaxed at the motion, breathing steadily, his features relaxing slowly.

"Tch…if I knew ya would calm down if I did this, I woulda done it before ya began t' scare me…" the voice growled, threateningly, yet in a pleased way. "Calm?"

Ichigo slowly opened his eyes, reaching his right hand up, placing it against the side of his face, his right eye showing, signs of tiredness in every motion and dark bags under his eyes. Shutting his eye again, he groaned.

I feel sick… he thought as he pressed back into the tender touch, tilting his head down. Maybe I'll finish my homework later…I need…some sleep… His mind began to draw a blank, yet before it did, he noticed that half-lidded golden eyes were staring back, the background of the eyes black, like an ongoing abyss. …if only a…little……