"Hi, Everybody! Rocky, here. My best pal, Bullwinkle and I are taking a vacation in the Everglades of Florida."
"'Cause we like to see the alligators…"
"It's more than that, Bullwinkle. Anyway, we just wanted to let everyone know that we've left Boris and Natasha in charge of syndication while we're gone."
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"Why that's absolutely preposterous. Boris and Natasha have no idea what it takes to run a children's television program." Mr. Peabody puffed on his pipe. Sherman nodded obediently.
"And perhaps you is doing better?" Boris cackled.
"Now see here, Mr. Boris, you may be the temporary head honcho of the studio for now, but that doesn't mean -"
"Sherman. Quiet, boy." Peabody murmured. Sherman sat down passively.
"That's better." Boris replied. Natasha hugged him with glee.
"Glee? I no hug with glee. Is evil hug." Natasha said.
"So who is supposed to be your dramatic foil, Mr. Badenov? Sherman and myself, perhaps…or Dudley-Do-Right?"
"Are you kiddink? Why fix it if it ain't broken, kid." Boris said with a grin.
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"As a civic leader in my own community, I suggest we overthrow Mr. Badenov and Ms. Fatale in order to preserve the integrity of our show." Peabody parked his pipe in the ashtray on top of the boardroom desk.
Several agreeable murmurs were heard across the table.
"Marvelous idea, Mr. Doggie, but how are we supposed to throw them anywhere when we can't get near them?" Dudley wondered.
"The old boy is right. They're constantly surrounded by bodyguards. It would take several Mounties to do that-"
"Oh, father, t'is far worse than that." Nell Fenwick swooned.
"I'll say. Even my robust evil genius is no match for Boris and Natasha…And that's saying something." Snidely Whiplash frowned heavily.
"Are we all in favor of calling Rocky and Bullwinkle in the Everglades?" Captain Peachfuzz asked.
Everyone raised their hand and said 'aye'!
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Meanwhile, our plucky heroes were on a private plane in the sky, winging their way toward the swamps and marshlands of Florida.
"Look, Bullwinkle! It's a retirement village…"
"Yeah. Lotsa old people." Bullwinkle replied.
The plane began to shake violently, causing the unfortunate moose to turn a dark shade of green.
"Rocky, is it just me, or are we not having a smooth…c-c-c-onnected flight?"
"We're not, Bullwinkle."
The brave squirrel scaled the walls of the plane in an effort to reach the pilots. But when he slid open the door to the front of the plane, you can only imagine who was steering…
Be with us next time for: It's Plane to See or Pilot Envy!
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Fractured Fairy Tales: Robin Hood
Once upon in time, in a place called 'Sherwood Forest', there lived a man whose name was Robin Hood.
"Hello." Robin Hood waved miserably.
Robin Hood was a compulsive liar, gambler, and stealer.
"I am not!" He winked.
Anyway, one lonely morning he chanced to open a copy of the Kingly Tribune, noting with happiness that the Royal Highness himself was to pass through their very own town of Nottingham.
"Boy…I'm gonna be the richest compulsive liar in the free world!"
So Robin Hood gathered many of his merry men together and hid them up in the trees to await Prince John's arrival.
"Yo, Robin, baby, how long do we have to wait up in these trees? My tights are chafing!" Little (BIG) John asked.
"As long as it takes…this is going to be our biggest payoff yet."
The men waited up in the trees for the rest of the night and with the coming of the new dawn, Robin Hood's men were very upset with him. Prince John had not shown up, and they had all caught poison oak.
"Gyah…it itches soooo bad!" They squealed.
"Put a lid on it. When we get the money, we can buy a lotion factory." Robin Hood said.
They waited for the rest of the day and into the next night. But with the coming of the morning light, there still had been no sign of Prince John.
The moans and groans of the men were so bad by this time that Robin Hood had to let them all go, lest they drive him crazy with their incessant whining.
"I make such big sacrifices for my men, I'm telling you."
Anyway, by the third night, Robin Hood finally saw an elegant coach approaching. He waited until the carriage was directly under him before pouncing upon it.
"I say, young fellow. Get thyself off my carriage." A stout man yelled from the window.
"Sorry, pops. You are in the process of getting robbed by the great Robin Hood."
Just then, a voice so shrill and commanding broke through the night, causing Robin Hood to clasp his hands over his ears.
"What the devil was that?" Prince John asked. Robin Hood sighed miserably.
"It's my wife. I promised her a mink last month."
"You mean, Maid Marian?" Prince John asked. Robin Hood shook his head.
"No. Just Marian. Being a maid implies that she cleans."
THE END
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"Hey Rocky, I can play the harp with my feet!"
"And now for another one of our special features…"