Just a quick note: I'm not JK Rowling, and I'm not making any sort of profit. This story has been long in the making for me, and I hope you all love it as much as I do.

And if you know the moment I knew I was still alone... you'd think by now, I'd know the shape of calling home.

Tracing, John Mayer

It was the day that my brother was leaving for Hogwarts. The day that I felt everything I had ever known and held close to me crumbling, and I was overcome with the desire to scream and cry and hit something all at once. But more than that I wanted someone to hold onto me and tell me everything would be okay as I cried myself into exhaustion. None of these fantasies would come true for me today, much less the daydream that somehow I was allowed to go to Hogwarts early just to stay with Harry. No, today was the first day I would be separated from my brother. Today was the first day in ten years and thirteen days that I had ever cried. I mean, I'm sure I cried as a newborn baby, but today I sobbed; a broken and hollow version of the girl I had grown to become.

My school year didn't begin until the next day, the same as Dudley's, and today I sat in some isolated corner of a hospital while Dudley had the pig tail removed. I preferred that the Dursley's wanted to be rid of me and that I was left alone in my misery. I didn't want to go to school tomorrow, although there were some advantages, those being that I would be without both Dudley and Piers for the first time. Piers managed to score himself a place in some fancy boarding school like Dudley had, so I was left attending the local public school, because in the Dursley's eyes public school was for commoners and they would never shell out anything for me, a Potter. I've never had a problem with the local school, the kids were nice if indifferent and the teachers varied from reasonable to great. It was something typical in my not so typical life that I appreciated. But right now I was left watching as Petunia and Vernon fretted over the questions people could start asking at any moment over why Dudley had a pig's tail to begin with. It was something I found ironic, considering the truths about my heritage that had been learned lately.

Nature versus nurture used to be so clear and simple for me. I bore witness everyday to the triumph of genetics, of having much better parents that passed down the best of themselves for their children. At least, this is what I had to believe. I never actually knew anything about my parents, besides their names, until I was ten. That's when so many of the idiosyncrasies that made up who I was, who my brother was, started making sense. Beforehand I had based this assumption solely on Dudley Dursley. There was no doubt that Dudley was loved by his parents, if anything he was an over-indulged only child. Even when Harry and I had been left on the Dursley's doorstep did they ever feel as though they had more than one child. Dudley was raised to get whatever he wanted through whatever means necessary. Was he capable of true cruelty, the kind that the people of our world have feared for so long? I would easily answer yes. He learnt from the best; he learnt from his father. The only difference between Dudley and Vernon Dursley is that Dud shares the blood of my mother's family, meaning that I believe he would show more regret or reluctance than Vernon was ever capable. Not that he would ever in front of his father, he was none too brave.

Dudley, in many ways, feared my brother from a very young age. At first it was always little things I noticed as we grew up, but it became more apparent when Duds would only hurt me with his gang as a child, blaming me for something inconsequential and untrue as a solid excuse for his gang to reap their havoc. I never wanted Harry to know, and that was how my magic manifested itself; healing the numerous bruises, cuts and swelling I would earn myself. Of course this only furthered his anger, knowing he couldn't see the reward of his exploits. But when he got older he appreciated that he could never get caught for his behaviour. I don't think Dudley ever realised it was never him I was scared of; I was scared of how my brother would react, what this would cause Vernon to do, and later, I was scared of Piers Polkiss. But that's another case altogether and one for later on.

Two things consistently gave me strength as a child; one, obviously, was my brother Harry. He was more than just my brother, just my best friend, he was all I had. Everything that tied me together made me the person that I was, stemmed from him. I know later on many people shrugged off our closeness to the fact that neither of us had anyone else, but it was more than that. Even if I had a proper family, real friends, a real life, Harry was still the one person I could never live without, would never want to be without. He is the sort of person that draws you to him; his love, kindness and sparkling aura single him out from everyone around you. He is the person I will always choose first. The second thing that gave me strength is the silver bracelet that is somehow permanently attached to my right wrist. It is a simple silver link chain with a heart locket that falls onto the inside of my wrist, my veins pulsing beneath its cool metal. On the back it reads 'Alexandra Lily Potter, Always Forever Now, L+J'. It reminded me that long ago, before I can remember, I had parents who loved me. This bracelet is what keeps me human, reminds me to feel and let people into my life. It's too easy to shut yourself away and protect yourself from everything that could ever hurt you or cause despair, but therein lays the difference between living and existing. My parents died so I would have a chance to live, and continuing to live is what's difficult. I always thought that I would know the day it all became worth it; I just never knew that day would be today.

Watching Harry get out of Vernon's car at King's Cross Station was one of the hardest moments of my life. We couldn't say all the things we wanted to in that moment because of the Dursley's within earshot, but we had shared the moment we needed to before leaving Privet Drive.

"I wish you were coming with me", my brother spoke softly. I smiled bravely at him, trying so hard not to cry, because I wished I was going with him too. But he knew me too well and saw straight through my attempt to make him feel better.

"If only we were twins, then we'd be going together". I sighed softly. "It's only til June, and you have Hedwig so we can write each other all the time. And at least I'm getting rid of Dudley as well, going off to Smeltings and all that – I'll just be at Ash Grange for the year". Harry smiled at me easily.

"So really you're just waiting to get rid of me as well?" I laughed, knowing I would miss him even more because of this, but right now was embracing the witty and charming brother I loved more than anything else, because he was all I had.

"Exactly. I'm glad you've finally caught on. Once you leave I'll have a room all to myself, and quite frankly I'm a little sick of you". He laughed again and I threw myself at him, hugging tightly. He just buried his face into my long mane of hair and held me. I didn't want to leave this place, the place I shared with Harry.

But too soon we were in a car to London, unceremoniously dropping Harry off at Kings Cross Station. I looked at him through the glass, tears unshed in our eyes. Harry never cried, but I always knew I would be the only exception for him. He had whispered in my ear before he got out of the car, 'I'll write as soon as I can, in a day or so. Don't let them bully you, Al. Remember, I love you'.

So I sat alone, next to a supply cabinet that felt cold on the thin cotton of my tank top and shorts that were falling apart every day that I continued to wear them. I had a headache from crying and the smell that all hospitals seem to have, of antiseptic and death; it's suffocating. I was starting to feel my eyes drop slowly closed when the door to the room I had wandered into hours before finally opened. It was a young male doctor who walked in, he had dark brown almost black hair, and olive skin. He was wearing blue hospital scrubs so I assumed he was a surgeon of some sort. When he walked around the gurney in the middle of the room and saw me he smiled widely. It made me melt a little, watching his eyes light up that way. He approached me cautiously, not wanting to scare me I imagine. But I could feel his good intentions as though they were my own. It was just a sense I had always had about people I came into contact with. I guess I was just good at reading people.

"Hi there, I'm Benjamin Rosen" I looked up into his eyes, they were a dark stormy blue colour I had never seen before, but it suited his face, and calmed me enough to remember to answer.

"I'm Alexandra, but I mostly go by Alex" he smiled widely at me for some inexplicable reason, and when I asked him this, he laughed.

"I'm just surprised how quickly you've learnt to protect yourself. It's a good thing mind you, wouldn't want to be announcing yourself unnecessarily to an enemy, but alas, that is not me" He smiled at his own dramatics and I almost chuckled at his blatant attempt to cheer me up.

"I'm an old Hogwarts student, and still close enough with Dumbledore that he told me to keep an eye out today for your cousin and yourself. When I didn't see you with your family I got a bit worried, so I've been searching for you. I figured you might be a bit upset, Harry having left today and all." He wasn't giving me looks of pity, just stating what he thought to be true. It was refreshing. So when he offered his hand to help me stand up, I took it only after a moment's hesitation.

"Alexandra Potter" I told him, smiling. He returned it with a true smile this time; I could see it light up his eyes. And that's when I realised that maybe being on my own wouldn't necessarily be a bad thing.

Benjamin, though he insisted on my calling him Ben, led me through the hospital to the cafeteria where he took me over to a buffet style table at the end of the room and asked what I would like to eat. I looked up at him in surprise, my eyes wide in confusion.

"But I don't have any money," I pointed out reasonably when I finally found something to say. He looked at me, his brow furrowed slightly at the lie that had slipped through my lips. He seemed to be waging some sort of internal battle, whether to call me on it or not, and settling for the latter.

"You don't need any money. I hate eating alone, so I tend to not eat on my breaks unless I have company, so in reality you'd be doing me a favour. Besides, you can easily pay me back in the future if it makes you feel better." At that I finally smiled.

"Yes, it does thankyou. And you really should learn to eat by yourself, you're a grown adult, and a doctor no less, you need to take better care". Ben seemed like he was struggling not to laugh at this, and I grinned inadvertently along with him. I ended up choosing a chicken and salad sandwich with cheese and mayo, and a coke, something I had always wanted to try. Ben got the same as me, and we sat down silently, both content for the moment to just eat in each other's company before questioning the other further.

Thinking about the moment a bit more, it was strange that I was so comfortable with another person, when the only person in my entire life I had ever been close to was Harry. But there was something about Ben that drew me in a little, made me trust him. Not just the fact that he worked for Professor Dumbledore, but his eyes, they were honest. And his mind, it felt calm to me.

Ben had finished his sandwich and politely waited for me to finish mine before we talked. He seemed to enjoy watching me eat, and even offered numerous snacks if I was still hungry. I didn't want to spend his money, although I knew that I would be going home to nothing, so I promised that later I would get something if he would. We shook on our deal and Ben smiled encouragingly at me. I found that he made my lips quirk up in a smile I never knew I possessed; it was different to the way I smiled at Harry. But it was something I would have to think about later.

There were so many things I wanted to ask of him, so many things I needed to know for my own sanity. I wanted to know who I was, where I came from. What the world I was torn from was like. If Harry and I would be happy there. Ben seemed to see the confusion written on my face and he gave me a small smile in understanding.

"I know there must be a lot you want to know, and I can't promise to tell you everything now, even most things. Some information will come to you in time. But I can tell you enough that once you go to Hogwarts next year you'll survive in our world."

"Survive? Ben, I'm not sure I understand. Could you at least start at the beginning of what I can know?" He looked at me squarely.

"Is that enough for you? I expected more of a fight" He pointed out reasonably

"It's enough for the moment. Just tell me what you can, please"