On one page, Kenshin is being carried, unconscious, by a barely standing Sano, accompanied by a very battered Aoshi. The next page, it's a month later and pretty much everyone has healed the worst of their injuries… But with so many unresolved tensions floating around, what did we miss?

Summer Between the Pages: Insight

[AN] This is essentially a sidequel (I can't believe that's really a word…) to Summer Between the Pages: Ponderance. It mostly follows Megumi's thoughts – I know that's shocking, coming from me… Ultimately I'd love to do one from EVERYONE's perspective, but this whole reality thing keeps getting in the way… Stupid work. [/AN]

Part I

Her bags were packed within hours of receiving the letter. Oguni Genzai had wisely kept out of her way; he offered his services once and stayed out of it. Megumi would be better off going alone. He could run the clinic without her and she was more than skilled enough to help her friends. Also, though he hated to admit it, she could travel faster without him.

While she was packing, he had sent for a friend of his who had a carriage. Megumi had expressed concerns at the expense, but the old doctor had told her not to worry about it. "Under the circumstances, with all those four have done for us, this is the least I can do." He'd smiled at her and hurried her into the coach. He handed her the medicine chest she'd kept prepared for just such an occasion and waved her off.

The coachman was mercifully swift. ~Genzaisensei must have told him what was going on,~ Megumi mused as she realized how quickly they were traveling. It would still take most of two days, which was far better than traveling by foot, but there would be brief rest stops when they paused to change horses.

The letter had said very little. It had been written in a very familiar, very small hand. She reached into her sleeve and touched the corner of the folded paper which had arrived by pigeon that morning.

"Takanisensei,

"Much has changed since our last meeting. The immediate threat has been removed but your friends are in need of your medical services. Please come to the Aoiya in Kyoto and all will be explained in full.

"You may trust me when I say I am now your ally.

"Shinomori Aoshi."

For some reason, she did. Though she could never have considered him a friend in those days, he had never been particularly cruel to her during her captivity. While he had never gone out of his way to protect her from Kanryuu's sadism, he and at least some of his men had done what they could to keep her out of his sight whenever possible.

She'd never really liked Beshimi, but for all his intimidating size and looks, Shikijyo had been almost kind. The others had fallen somewhere between those two "extremes".

Freshest on her mind was the day he had come to her, after the others had left for Kyoto. The dojo had been unlocked, and hope had flared in her heart…

He couldn't possibly have come back, could he? There was no way, yet still the hope flared and seemed to devour her. She flung open the doors to the dojo. "Kensan!"

But that was not who she saw.

The silent figure turned towards her. No, that was definitely not Kensan. Ice shot through her spine, the touch of fear that threatened to overwhelm her as surely as hope had mere moments before. She'd thought him gone from her life. How had he gotten back here? And why was he here? Was he looking for Kensan!? And what was happening to her... Why couldn't he just have gone and never come back?

She knew one thing. Kensan had saved her from this strange dark man, different from the one she had known with all his silence and mystery. She would rather risk death once more at his hands than give up Kensan...

Even to him.

She choked on his name as her knees gave out beneath her. It was a familiar silhouette. The leader of the Oniwabanshuu. The Okashira…

"Shinomori Aoshi."

"We'll be stopping here for the night, Takanisensei," the coachman said as he knocked on the door. Startled out of her reminiscence, Megumi thanked him and accepted his proffered hand down from the coach. She was worried. Aoshi had said nothing really informative about anyone's condition… Was he even still alive?

She could not stand to lose him. Hadn't she already lost everything and everyone she'd ever cared about before? But his death she feared above all else.

~And all that talk about how powerful he is, how invulnerable… Idiots. Every last one of them. And none more so than he is. How bad is his condition? Shinomorisan would not be so cold as to tell me in a letter if he had died. Even with a pigeon. What will I do if he is gone? I wouldn't be alive if not for him… But would my life without him be worth living anyway?~ Sleep came slowly with that last thought foremost on her mind.

Morning arrived but brought no clarity. She wasted no time, thanking the innkeeper and taking a light breakfast to eat on the road.

They were making good time, but her thoughts would not settle.

"Where. Is. Battousai."

Memories of the darkest moments between them flooded her mind, paralyzing her for a moment. He came towards her, knelt before her. Asked again, demanding that she answer.

"I… I don't know." There was only one thing of which she was sure at that moment: Shinomori Aoshi was out for blood. Specifically, Kenshin's. There was no doubt in her mind that he would do anything within his power to bury his blade in Kenshin's heart. It was more than her life was worth, she felt, to protect his.

It never occurred to her that Kenshin himself might feel otherwise, or if it did, she ignored the thought.

His hand was surprisingly warm and gentle as Aoshi reached up to touch her cheek in a tender caress. His hand cupped her cheek.

His body language said, "I care about you and I want to keep you safe."

His eyes were emotionless as a snake's as his lips formed the words, "If you don't answer me… I'll kill you."

She must protect him from this emotionless killer… But she had made a promise. To Kenshin himself, she had promised to live, to live and to become a dedicated physician, saving lives to atone for those she had cut short, though through no volition of her own.

Her life, or Kenshin's?

But… what was her life, without him?

Maybe Kaoru had left to go to Kyoto after him, and she had stayed – but not a single person who knew her would have doubted that, given the option, she would have been off to Kyoto in a heartbeat, healing where it was needed. She would fight Shishio herself if she had to, although what she could really do against a psychotic killer with a sword and the knowledge to use it was admittedly rather limited. But she had made a promise to Kenshin and she kept her promises. She was going to work to save as many lives as possible. Healing was her redemption – and in turn, she was healing herself, learning to care again, learning to hope…

"Ha. Hope," she said aloud, interrupting her own thoughts and startling herself. "I know better now," she sighed. ~Can it really be only a few weeks since they left? Every day has been a new hell, wondering how they were all doing. Even her. And now all I know is that they need my skills… Are there no doctors in Kyoto?

~Well, none as skilled as a Takani, that much is true,~ she couldn't help the smug thought. It seemed to her that everyone in Japan must have known of the Takani line and its medical skills and neutrality.

She had sometimes wondered what would have happened if that cop hadn't interfered, hadn't come up from behind them to tell Shinomori Aoshi that the man they called Battousai had left for Kyoto. The man waiting for her in the dojo that day was not the man she'd known at Kanryuu's mansion; something had broken inside him completely that had merely been damaged before, and his eyes were not familiar. They had been cold and unforgiving as a stone covered in ice.

It was the deaths of his men that had pushed him over the edge; the way he'd handled his defeat by Kenshin was only a symptom of the disease that ate at his heart. Some small part of her wished things had been different all around. ~If only there was a cure for heartbreak… But if there were, I wouldn't need Kensan quite so much…~

The thought sobered her. She had come to terms with the fact that he had said sayonara to someone else, but had not waited for her to return from the emergency that had called her away that night. She was not naïve enough to try to fool herself into believing that it was because he could not bring himself to say farewell. He was too much of a good person for that, too much of a man. He had gone because he was needed; he had said goodbye to Kaoru because he needed to do so.

And he had left her behind with never a backwards glance or second thought.

Turning her face away from the carriage window, she choked back the threatening tears. Though there was no one to see her cry, still she could not bear to give in when someone might hear. She was no little girl, to cry over some man! ~No. No man has been worth my tears in far too long… But just the same, I am not worthy of his. He will love her, if he does not already. And I... I suppose I will move on, someday.~

She hugged herself, alone in the rushing coach with her thoughts. The thought hurt; she did not want to move on! But it wasn't a matter of choice. She could read the currents in the river of time. Resolve germinated in her heart.

He must live, and there was only one person who would keep him grounded, help him focus on living and moving forward.

As much as she hated it, she would have to tell Kaoru the truth. Kenshin was not immortal, not invulnerable, and would need her to be strong. But first things first. She had to ascertain their physical conditions, for she didn't doubt that things had gotten… a little out of hand. For whatever reason, anything that happened around Kenshin was never a small thing.

The thought brought a small smile to her lips. ~Nothing that happens around that man ever stays small, does it. And yet, to look at him, he's so slight himself... One would never think a man with such a delicate-looking physique would have such an incredible impact on everything around him.~

But the same could be said for any of her friends, to varying extent.

She watched the trees as they rushed past, the greenery blending into the distance, the villages and towns through which they passed blurring into forgotten memories. Toward evening, she recognized the sounds of a city as they entered Kyoto. The coach stopped only once to ask directions to the Aoiya.

Her stomach tightened; what would she find? Was he alive? What had happened with Shinomori Aoshi? What had happened with Shishio?

She was met by a rather battered Kaoru, accompanied by a shorter, very energetic young woman who was introduced to her as Makimachi Misao, now Okashira of the Oniwabanshuu. About to ask, she stopped herself. There was time to find out why Aoshi was no longer Okashira later, as well as what had happened to the shattered building. For now...

"It is an honor to meet you. But I am not here for the social niceties. Tell me what happened, and who needs my help."

Kaoru's eyes watered and her lip quivered momentarily. Megumi fought the urge to slap her again even as fear gripped her heart.

"Kenshin is..."

Misao sighed in exasperation. "Himura's in pretty bad shape, but he's alive. Same with Yahiko...chan." She grinned a little as she said it, but her eyes were full of concern. "Everyone else at least is conscious, although as you can see we're all pretty battered."

"Take me to him," Megumi said.

Kaoru reached towards her hesitantly. "Megumisan?"

"What is it?" She tried to keep her tone from being snappish, but it still came out curtly. Worry ate away at her. She had patients to tend!

"Megumisan... I just want to say..."

Megumi stared at Kaoru for a moment, then tossed her hair with a dismissive noise. "Don't say anything yet," she said, trying to keep her own worries in check. Then she followed Misao to where Kenshin and Yahiko lay.

He looked so frail and small, lying unconscious in the bed that had been moved to a small private room. ~So many injuries… By the Kami, he should be dead!~ The thought seized control of her mind, paralyzing her much as had happened one day not so long before when she was very nearly forced to choose between his life or her own. The room wavered and threatened to go dark around her.

"Kitsune, you okay?" The concern in Sanosuke's voice was genuine; it reached her through the nauseating haze. Briefly she wondered when he'd gotten there.

Reality came back into focus and the world settled down: she had a purpose. "I'm not a moment too soon," she replied. "You, get my medical kit from the coach, then bring the rest of my things. You," she said, turning to Aoshi, who had also appeared as though from nowhere, "You know what will be needed. Have everything brought. Hurry!" Kneeling at Kenshin's side, she braced herself, unwrapping the bandages. They were Aoshi's work, she noted.

~This is a nameless patient. This is no one I know. This man who by all logic should be dead is not the man I love. I… I could not endure this if it were him. Losing him would break me… And he is going to die. But not today, and not for some time yet to come. I will not allow it. Not today.~

She took a deep, steadying breath. Something inside her shifted as she studied the ~unfamiliar!~ man's wounds with a critical eye, her lips tightening in silent criticism.

[AN] I'd just like to point out that nowhere in canon does Megumi ever demonstrate that she does not love Kenshin; she is often the only one (other than his Shishou) who sees his human frailty clearly. In fact, there are several allusions throughout to her feelings for him. Too many of their friends easily believe in his invincibility, especially in her opinion; in mine, it is understanding and acceptance of a person's flaws as well as his or her good points that define love. Actually, there's no real romance intended in this story at all, although there is a good deal of thought about it… [/AN]