The Ghost and the Cynic

by Daisuke

Crossover with Hikaru no Go. Before her first day at Lawndale High, Daria Morgendorffer is forced to go shopping with her sister. She never expected to find anything cursed in that kind of situation, let alone meeting an annoying but amusing ghost.

The Ghost and the Cynic.

Disclaimer: Daria and associated characters are owned by MTV. Hikaru no Go and its characters is owned by Hotta Yumi y Obata Takeshi. This is fanfiction written for entertainment only.

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Part 1
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Daria Morgendorffer frowned at her luck. They had just arrived to Lawndale and her mother had already forced her to go downtown with her sister, Quinn 'To make sure she's safe'. The other girl wasn't happy about the issue either, but she had said that she needed new clothes or else she'd 'die', so she accepted the company.

Quinn had already wasted most of the money their mother had given her on some stupid fashionable clothes and makeup. Daria had decided to keep the money just in case there was something more useful to...

She stopped as she saw a pawn shop.

Quinn was a few steps ahead of her and stopped too as she noticed that Daria wasn't following her. She turned around and groaned at the older girl. "What are you doing? I still have to get some shoes," she smirked "and you could use some for yourself, those boots are so... EEWWW!" She shook her head and walked towards Daria.

The older sister was just standing there and watching the pawn shop mystified, almost... hypnotized. "Hey, what's the big deal?"

Daria suddenly noticed Quinn and jumped. "Eep!"

Quinn rolled her eyes. "What are you doing? Are you trying to embarrass me?"

Daria frowned. "Let's get inside" She didn't care about the terrified look of her sister. There was something in the store that was... calling for her.

Quinn threw her hands to the air but followed. "DAAAA-RIA! I will tell mom! She said no creepy places!"

The store owner looked annoyed at the girls, he was chubby, smelled and had thick glasses that didn't give him a kind look. "What are you looking for?" He snarled.

Quinn took a step back and hid behind Daria.

Daria rolled her eyes and looked around. "Just checking if there's anything interesting"

"You don't just 'check' over here, girly, buy something, sell something or get lost."

Daria noticed a board of some kind. "Is this blood?"

Suddenly a voice came from everywhere. "Can you see that?"

Daria looked around, confused.

"Can you hear my voice?" It spoke in a thick Japanese accent.

Daria glared at the owner. "Who said that?"

Quinn was trembling. "What? Daria, let's get out of here, I still need my shoes"

The voice continued talking. "You can hear my voice. Can't you?"

Daria kept looking around. "Who's that?"

"What? Go away missy" growled the man.

"You can" said the voice "You can!" it repeated, happy... no, exalted.

Daria turned and took the board, having noticed finally that it was the source of the voice which continued speaking. "All powerful God, I thank you"

Suddenly a figure appeared before Daria. At first she thought it was a woman, and then she noticed his Adam's apple and frowned. He was definitely human and there was no way it was some kind of special effect. It was a ghost.

Daria just stood there, with an expectant look.

The man extended his arms. "I will now return..." He was all around her, his hands giant, about to... hug her? "...return to the living world."

Daria took a step back and winced in pain as she felt her head spin. "You're... you're in my head?"

"Yes, inside your consciousness" replied the voice, rejoiced.

"Hey, BRAT, you buying that or beat it, NOW!"

Daria recovered and frowned at the man. "How much for the cursed board?"

The man glared at her. "That's a goban you stupid brat"

She looked at the goban and picked it up, it was heavier than she thought. "Ok, charge it on the stupid card then"

She handed the man the gold card her mother had given her to buy stuff. "Never mind that the board is cursed, you will surely charge four times as much as you should" she said dryly.

The man didn't stop glaring at her, but he certainly enjoyed getting rid of the goban. "We don't accept refunds, missy."

Daria rolled her eyes and left the store, Quinn followed her running.

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When they got home, Quinn decided to not tell their parents what had happened. Obviously after a twenty dollar bribe. But Daria thought it was a good price to pay.

She got to her room, put the goban aside and threw herself to the bed. Looking at the cracks in the roof she smiled weakly.

"So... you're a ghost"

"I... yes?" replied the voice, less enthusiastic.

"Are you asking me?" She countered in a deadpan.

The ghost frowned at her and started waving his hands around, like a child. "Hey! It's been ages since I talked to anyone! What's your name?"

Daria glanced at him and frowned. "I think that the usual is to not speak one's name, right? It holds power over a being... or something like that."

The ghost squeaked. "REALLY? I... I didn't know that"

Daria didn't know if she should be annoyed or amused. "Daria Morgendorffer, what's yours?"

The ghost covered his mouth with a paper fan. "Uh, my name is... was, I mean... uhhh."

Daria rolled her eyes, annoyed, she decided. "You know... the name holding power over a being thing? That was a joke, I did give you my name"

The ghost frowned slightly. "Oh" He didn't look entirely convinced. "Really?"

"Really"

"Well, then. My name is Fujiwarano Sai"

"And you're Japanese"

"That's right"

"So you're called Sai. Is that like the ninja weapon?"

Sai looked around, somewhat scared. "Ninja?"

"Forget it, I should look it up later on the internet"

Sai looked more confused by the minute. "The what?"

"I will explain it later, I think. So, what's your story?"

The ghost smiled at her and again covered his face with his paper fan, making himself look important. "I taught Go for the Emperor in the Heian capital"

"Emperor, as in Japan's emperor?"

He nodded and continued his tale. "I played go everyday, and was so happy!"

He looked down sadly. "There was another who also served as the Emperor's Go teacher. And one day he commented to the emperor... 'Only one instructor is needed. Why don't we play and the winner can remain?' And so, we played."

Daria took her glasses away and massaged her eyes. "I could use this" she muttered.

"The game was even. With everyone watching, it was a coincidence that only I saw it. A white stone had been somehow into his goke."

"Goke?" The girl wondered aloud, then she tried to remember how Go was played.

Sai continued talking, not hearing what she said. "It's rare, but sometimes one of your stones gets mixed with your opponent's. Of course, that has nothing to do with the match so usually it just ends with the person saying 'Here's one of your stones' and handing it over but he... waited for the right moment and... added it to his captured stones."

Daria yawned. "So he cheated, I'm not surprised, the whole human race is made up by cheaters, you know."

"When I raised my voice... he accused me of doing what he had just done!"

Daria raised an eyebrow. "The nerve of him" she commented in a monotone.

"I complained about that horrible lie, but the Emperor shut us up. So we continued. And with my mind still unraveled..." He extended his arms, full of sadness. "I lost. And branded a cheater, I was driven from the capital. I no longer wished to live, I drown myself two days later. My soul was unable to rise to heaven. I wanted... to play more Go."

Daria frowned at him. "So you've been a ghost since then? How did you end up here in Lawndale?"

Sai motioned to the bloody board. "My spirit attached itself to a goban. Time passed until I could hear the voice of a young boy."

Daria put her glasses again and smirked a little. "So I'm not the first person to see you as a ghost"

"No." He answered, still looking at the goban. "And the child was interested in Go and took me on willingly. And I was able to play as much Go as I wished. He would become a great go player but died of a disease at the age of 34."

Daria frowned a little at that, thinking that the disease he was talking about could be his fault somehow. "What was his name?"

"His name was Honinbo Shusaku. He was a good person..."

"Shusaku? Huh? I should look it up. When did he live?"

Sai looked at her a little confused. "Edo"

Daria nodded. "So you haunted him to play Go. And you're haunting me now to do the same."

Sai nodded. "Yes. For I have yet to achieve the Hand of God"

Daria smiled, not getting exactly what he meant with that, but figurating it had something to do with a perfect play or even game. "Hand of God? That sounds... like an impossible goal, don't you think?"

"It is a difficult goal, yes I agree with that. But it's not impossible"

Daria nodded slightly. "I'm sorry, but here in America, Go is not a very popular game, nowhere near as popular as Chess, and if someone finds out that you play it, they'd call you a 'geek' or a 'brain'. Stupid human race"

Suddenly Daria's face went white. She got up and ran to the bathroom past her mother who looked worried at her. Daria threw up all breakfast. "What did you do?" She yelled.

"I did nothing!" Sai assured. "My sadness about not being able to play Go just seeped into your consciousness."

Daria groaned and looked at her reflection, she was white as a sheet. "God, you're annoying."

"Honey, are you all right?" Her mother asked from outside the bathroom.

Daria frowned. "I think I'm sick"

Her mother opened the door she looked concerned. "You threw up?"

The auburn haired girl nodded. "As I said, I think I'm a little sick"

"You look awful, Daria!"

"Thanks for the remainder, mom" she replied, as emotionless as ever.

"But you're not missing your first day of school here, young lady" Helen Morgendorffer put her hands on her hips in a commanding pose.

Daria's eyes opened fully and then she ran to the toilet and continued to throw up. Her mother helped her making sure that her glasses didn't fall and kept her hair away from the vomit.

When Daria finished, Helen frowned. "Ok, you're missing school tomorrow, do you want to see a doctor?"

Daria shook her head. "I will just stay in my bedroom"

"You do that"

When Daria returned to her room, she closed the door behind her. She glared at the ghost. "I didn't say I wouldn't let you play, you stupid cross dresser"

The insult didn't reach Sai as he smiled happily. "YOU MEAN IT?"

Daria rolled her eyes. "Sure..." she sat in front of her computer. "I think there was an online league or something, let me look it up."

Sai looked at the computer with confusion. "What's this box?"

"A computer, it's like..." Daria frowned as she decided that there was no way an ancient ghost like Sai would understand the concept of a computer or the internet. "It doesn't matter, you only have to know that you can read whatever you want from it and do many things... you can even play Go"

He blinked. "But... the goban is over here" He muttered as he pointed at the bloody goban that Daria had bought.

"You don't need that" she said as she found what she was looking for. "Take a look at this, World Go net"

Sai looked at the screen, still confused.

Daria rolled her eyes. "Let's register, let's see... screen name, Sai. Country... Japan, you're from Japan."

Sai nodded, still not getting what he was supposed to be watching at.

Daria typed for a couple of minutes, then a virtual goban appeared. "We're playing someone called Zelda. Must be a kid or a video game nerd, that's the Nintendo thing."

Sai looked at Daria, still confused. "Is this Nintendo going to help me play?"

"Uh, no."

"Hey! It's talking to you, that's Japanese!" The ghost exclaimed, happy to see his language.

Daria looked blankly at the computer screen. "I can... I can understand it. How?"

"Uh, you don't speak Japanese?"

"Not really, I did install katakana and hiragana to study the language, but I never got around to actually doing it. I guess having you around has advantages, let's... see what he's up to" And then, she started typing again.

Zelda: Hello.
Sai: Hi.
Zelda: You're not going to quit before it ends, are you?
Sai: Could you repeat that? I don't speak Stupid.
Zelda: What?
Sai: Don't mind me. And no, I don't intend to do that. That'd mean losing.
Zelda: Good, I just played a n00b and he just stopped playing.
Sai: You could do the same, start playing and stop talking, n00b
Zelda: You're calling me a n00b?
Sai: Your sheer capability of understanding human language amuses me.
Zelda: For your information, I'm an insei.
Sai: You have your head inside your arse, you mean.
Zelda: You don't even have a win, you don't even have played a game!
Sai: I may be able to, if you would simply point a click. It's not that difficult, I bet a monkey could do it.
Zelda: Shut up, Troll.
Sai: Nice comeback.

Sai frowned at Daria. "You're being mean"

She smiled despite herself. "Ok, ok... I will just let you do your thing, you're strong, right?"

"I... Yes?"

"You're asking me again. Not a good sign. Ok, whatever."

The game started, at first Sai didn't understand what to do, but he quickly started giving directions to Daria. It didn't take long for her to notice that Sai was not playing much better than the opponent, but then took attention to the fact that... it seemed like Sai was not playing seriously.

After an hour. The game had ended. Sai won by one moku.

"One moku? WHY?" Sai exclaimed angrily.

Daria scowled at him. "Doesn't white get an advantage, like, five points or something like that?"

Sai looked confused. "Not in my time, I never lost when playing black! But if what you say is true, then that's confusing, why give white such an advantage?"

Daria looked at the screen and smiled. "Perhaps to balance the game, look he's talking to us."

Zelda: WHO ARE YOU?"
Zelda: Answer!
Zelda: Why did you do that?
Sai: Do what?
Zelda: Shidougo me! Why? How strong are you, exactly?
Sai: ...
Zelda: "..." What? Are you a pro or what?
Sai: A pro? People earn money playing this?
Zelda: Don't mock me! You can't be a pro, you're too bratty!
Sai: Nah, I'm just pulling your leg.
Zelda: What?

Daria rolled her eyes. "Do you want to play him again?"

Sai didn't reply. He was just smiling, he was really happy. Daria had never seen anyone so happy before in her life.

"It figures, you have to be dead to be that happy" She said in a deadpan.

Sai finally nodded. "He's strong. He could learn much."

Daria raised an eyebrow. "Ok, but I'm not doing this for free."

Sai then turned to her. "What? But I don't have any money!"

Daria smiled evilly. "Not asking you for any money, you just have to... tell me about you, your life, what you remember from your time and from your days as a ghost. I think I could write a lot from that"

Zelda: Well?
Zelda: Are you there?
Sai: Yes. I am. Another game?
Zelda: What? Why?
Sai: ...

Daria looked at Sai. "What do I tell him?"

Sai covered his mouth with his paper fan. "Tell him that you will teach him"

"That will sound too pompous... let's see what I can make up..."

Sai: Do you want to become stronger?
Zelda: Obviously.
Sai: Then, let's just play another game. No more talking.

And so, they continued plating.

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Daria spent the whole morning of the next day helping Sai play go against anyone around the world. He didn't do 'shindougu' again, so Daria could tell that he was simply a monster in the game. No one in the whole internet had come even close to defeating him.

After having lunch Daria decided against playing more Go and used that time to transcribe stories about Sai's life and afterlife. By midnight she had almost seventy pages worth of information. She thought she could make up a short story or even a novella with all that.

She put down the pen she was using to write. "Tomorrow I am going to school, you know"

Sai appeared next to her, his face still as confused as ever. "School?"

Daria smiled a little. "Yes, a place where the adults force their children to interact with one another with the excuse of preparing them for their future lives. Learning there is not an option." She said in a deadpan.

"That doesn't sound good"

"No, really. It doesn't. Anyway, I guess you heard Quinn talking at dinner, right?"

Sai covered his ears with his hands. "She never stops!" He exclaimed, panicked.

Daria yawned and got into her bed. "That's the understatement of the year, but the important thing is that she had a psychological exam, or something that tried to pass as one at least. If you start talking to me then I will most likely talk back, and I don't want to be branded as a nut. I can be an outcast by myself, thank you very much."

Sai blinked a couple of times. "I don't think I understood a word you just said."

"I didn't think you would" Daria nodded as she took her glasses and put them next to her. "The important thing for you to know is that, if I don't talk to you, you don't talk back to me."

"But I'd get boooored"

Daria closed her eyes. "I'm sure you can play more Go later if you behave yourself"

Sai's expression changed dramatically. "AW RIGHT!"

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Daria's first day at Lawndale High was somewhat better than expected. She took a psychological test from Mrs. Manson, and while the woman kept calling her 'Dara', she decided that it was for the best to humor her to avoid being branded insane anytime soon.

Next came Mr. DeMartino's class. She was surprised when he handed her a piece of paper and made her do a quiz. The History teacher kept scowling at her as if waiting for her to dare and complain. She didn't have a problem solving the Quiz in half the time most of the class took, and so DeMartino's mood changed towards her.

The rest of the day went along with no complications whatsoever. Nothing interesting came to her attention. She sighed as she prepared to leave school and noted that she had made no friend there, not that she expected to.

Her thoughts were suddenly interrupted. "HEY! Watch that!" Exclaimed Sai pointing at something.

She turned and noted a small poster that looked vandalized. "Premiere Go Qualifier" She read aloud and frowned. She didn't know there were Go tournaments in America.

She read what she could from the poster and nodded to herself. "It looks that next week there's going to be a Go tournament in Baltimore."

Sai squeaked. "Yay!"

Daria looked at the ghost. "You want me to sign in?"

Sai danced around her. "Pretty please?"

Daria scowled. "I wish I could kick you." She returned her gaze to the poster. "What's this doing here anyway? It wouldn't surprise me if this was in college or something like that, but a High School? THIS particular High School? Weird."

"So we're going?"

She sighed. "Good deeds never go unpunished, do they?"

"I... guess?"

She smiled. "You're annoying, but you can be interesting at times, when I forget that you're annoying."

He blinked. "Thanks? I think."

She took note of the information of the Qualifier and then smiled as she noticed the first prize. "You know, this might be fun. I could win two tickets to Japan and a spot in some amateur tournament over there."

Sai's eyes brightened. "We're going to play a lot!"

Daria didn't look so fascinated with the idea, but if Sai did win that tournament she was pretty sure she'd get free vacations. Nothing better than evading Lawndale High School. She left the School without saying anything else.

A tall dark haired girl was sketching something in a notebook. The title of the piece was 'Cynic Talks to Herself'

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AN: I blame Ungalad for this. We were talking and the idea of having Sai appear to Daria instead of Hikaru seemed interesting enough to write this. Comments of any kind are obviously welcome.