I'll be missing you…till then

SUMMARY: She was gone and there was nothing Tony could do about it…nothing but sit and cry…or was there. There was one gun…one bullet…one man…can someone stop him or will he be forever gone to the memories of her.

DISCLAIMER: I do not own anything affiliated with NCIS or CBS. I do not own the group Alabama or their song "Goodbye" nor anything affiliated with either.

A/N: I'm not real good at the emotion stuff but I was listening to some songs and this idea just came to me. I've done one other song fic and I thought I'd give it another try! Tell me what you think…

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PROLOGUE:

"We'll find her," Officer David said as she started for the door. She was stopped by Tony's voice.

"She doesn't want to be found." Tony said sadness in his voice that Ziva had never heard before.

"We can try," Ziva replied as she left the apartment.

Tony sat on the floor the card Jeanne had left him in his hands. 'I'll never be the same.' Tony thought to himself as he cried.

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++ Before I fly and wave goodbye

I say to you days with you are the best years of my life++

It was well after midnight when Tony finally found himself in his own apartment; the tears had yet to start. He slowly laid his gun on the table and turned to grab a beer from the refrigerator.

As he drank the beer he could feel his heart breaking even more. Unable to keep himself standing, he slid against the counter until he was sitting on the floor.

'Oh god…please, I can't live without her.' Tony laid his head back, trying his hardest to stop the tears.

++ But if I don't see you anymore

Keep my words safely stored ++

Tony wasn't sure how it happened but some how his gun was in his hands. All he could was look at it in awe. He closed his eyes again.

++ And I'll be back I promise once more

Goodbye, goodbye ++

'Jeanne…what did I do to you?' Tony played the question in his mind over and over again. 'Come back…please Jeanne…come back to me.'

Tony toyed with the gun again. He took out the clip and emptied it of its bullets. He held the bullets in his hand, staring in amazement.

++ Goodbye, goodbye

I'll love and I'll miss you till then ++

Tony was so enthralled in looking at his gun and the bullets he never heard the phone ring. He never heard his answering machine pick. He never heard the voice calling out to him.

"Tony…Tony, if you're there answer the phone. I just wanted to see if you were ok…call me."

++ Remember me 'cause I care

Where you are and how you fare ++

Tony looked at the phone as the words settled in his brain. 'I'm not okay…please help me.' He called out silently.

He looked back at the gun. He chose one bullet. He placed the bullet in the gun. He started to cry harder.

'Don't leave me…' he pleaded silently as the words from the card came to his mind (I'm not coming back)

++ Get in touch if the wind blows in your face

I guess it's been too much fun ++

Tony started to rock back and forth; the anxiousness he'd been feeling intensified. 'Jeanne…don't you know how much I love you. I never meant to hurt you. Oh my love…please come back.'

Shaking hands held the gun. A shaky mind made a decision. A shaky voice screamed in anger and pain.

++ We've shared and we've won

Yes the best is yet to come ++

The screaming stopped after a full minute had past. Tony collapsed against the sink, to drained to do more then sit there…at least for time being.

He closed his eyes and saw her…she was so beautiful. She could light up the room with her smile. She was a doctor…an emergency room doctor yet she was innocent. She loved him…more then anyone had ever loved him before.

++ That one word hurts so bad

You leave the best you've had ++

She hated him now. She didn't love him any more. 'I don't know you.' She told him. 'You have to choose.' She wrote in her card. 'I'm never coming back.'

The word…never…choose…you. Those were the words that echoed in Tony's mind. Tony couldn't go on…not with out her. Not knowing that she hated him so.

++ But you keep the faith and pray to return

Goodbye, goodbye++

With shaking hands Tony held up the gun to his head. He closed his eyes. In his mind he saw his team…no…Gibbs's team. 'They're better off,' he thought sadly.

Tony sat up straighter. 'I truly did love you Jeanne.' He thought sadly one last time. With that he closed his eyes and allowed his trigger finger to slowly pull the trigger back…

++ I'll love and I'll miss you till then

Goodbye, goodbye ++

Tony opened his eyes and stared straight into the eyes of... "Gibbs?"

Gibbs said nothing as he took the gun out of the senior agent's hand. "It's gonna be okay Tony."

Tony shook his head, "I lost her boss."

Gibbs pulled Tony close and hugged him. "It's gonna be ok."

Tony could do nothing but sob.

Goodbye, goodbye

Goodbye, goodbye ++

Early the next morning Gibbs untangled himself from Tony's grasp. He took the gun and the bullets and kept them with him. He helped Tony up off the floor and into bed. Tony looked up at him, tears falling down his face once more.

"Will it ever stop hurting Gibbs?" Tony asked sounding like a child.

"It'll get better," Gibbs answered knowing that the pain never fully went away. He looked at his watch; he had to get to work but at that moment it didn't matter. He held his senior agent close to him once again. "We'll get you through this…I promise."

Tony clung to him and cried…

++ Goodbye, goodbye

Till I see you again

Goodbye, goodbye

I'll love and I'll miss you till then ++

THE END

A/N2: Song is titled "Good Bye" and is sung by Alabama

A/N3: Well, that's it…what do you think?