In other news, free will remains a joke

Author: Rain

Rating: T

Characters/Pairing: MarcoXMeene

Sountrack: Centuries (Fall Out Boy)

Second part of LugiaP2K's Christmas gift. This one is way darker to even everything out. *flees*

There were no clouds in the sky that particular day; but even as the sun beamed down on earth Meene felt no warmth. It was as if someone had just painted a yellow dot on the sky's fabric and left it at that; she was freezing in her warm uniform. Was it just fear?

Today was the day when she was supposed to figh alongside her friends against Hao. The day when she was supposed to die against their foe. So it could as well be fear that prickled her fingers and made her shiver so.

She decided to walk a little faster to warm herself. She was following the road going through Patch Village and had just turned from a stray alley and into the main street when she saw a known figure leaning against the wall, a cigarette in his mouth.

"C-Commander?"

Marco blinked, and turned as she walked past him, jogging to catch up to her. The cigarette was thrown down and thoroughly stomped. "A-ah, Meene, I was hoping I'd cross your path. I would have been very unlucky not to, given that this is the only street through the Village, of course." He... was off, somehow. It was as if he were speaking a scripted cue, something he had repeated often - and as if he were a child while doing so, too, speaking too fast, crashing into each syllabe and looking hyperfocused on not getting the words wrong.

"Walk with me," she offered, as if he hadn't started already. He didn't ask where she was going; she didn't ask why he was waiting for her at some corner. Sometimes words weren't needed, especially in such a tense situation. Meene was mourning herself, wondering how quick or painful it would be; Marco was grieving as well, but also... nervous, for some reason that she couldn't quite understand.

As they passed Thalim's place, Marco's face lit up for a second, puzzling Meene even more. Had he noticed something she hadn't...? She didn't stop walking, and he neither, for a few more minutes before he couldn't stop himself, "do you want to get some coffee with me?"

She stopped. The cafe was a little way away now. Had he been building up courage for this ever since? And what was the point of asking her that on such a day...? Maybe he was trying to... cheer her up, somehow. To warm her soul before its departure. It was... kind of him, but she shook her head.

"Sorry, Commandeer, I have to go to -
- The stadium?" She blinked. How did he know? Of course, he was aware of the match that would take place later in the day, but they still had a few hours before that, and the benevolent Maiden had declared that they had the morning off to do whatever they could wish to do. Frowning, she considered his face for a moment. He looked... exhausted. Maybe he just understood her that well.

"... Yes. Our teammates are already there. We still have about three hours but Chris... Captain Venstar wants to check on some things first." What things, she knew not; but she trusted her friend. Maybe he had found some secret way to kill Hao and save them all. If he had... Uh. Even if he hadn't, Meene trusted Christopher Venstar with her life.

Marco seemed quite puzzled, though. "Why did Christopher ask you to go alone? It's not.. very safe for us. There could be men waiting to ambush you on Hao's orders."

Meene blinked. So Christopher hadn't asked for confirmation before giving her his orders? It didn't fit Chris's personality to act that way. But in the haste of the action... Oh, well. She had liked the gesture, anyways. It was one of trust. Of kindness. "I think... He wanted me to make my choice on the way. But... Are you going to ask to accompany me now?"

As if struck by lightning, Marco's baby blue eyes widened. But the rest of his face remained still and focused. "Even if I did... I wouldn't change the outcome of today."

Meene blinked in surprise. Was he... asking for confirmation? Was he expecting her to say he could, and then he would go through it, and then she wouldn't have to...? No. She refused to answer that. Answering... Answering would be a bad idea. A terrible idea indeed. The young woman took her weapon out, emptied its barrel, started to mechanically clean the gun. Regular, usual actions gave her some sort of assurance, and it helped hide her embarassment as she tried to regain her bearings. For a second, she glanced up and met his gaze. The intensity of the grief she saw then took her aback; luckily for him, and for her, and for the world, it was gone in a second.

"M-meene... See you at the stadium," he finally said, and turned away. A feeling of anguish overwhelmed Meene all of a sudden, as if she had already heard those words, seen that expression on his face. It was as if he were... giving up on something. On what? It seemed very importantt right now.

"W-wait, Marco!" As soon as Meene said the words, she regretted them. What could he say that would change her mind, or make her happy, or save the day...? There was nothing left to do but stand and die. She didn't want him to linger. She didn't want him to lose focus. She was glad he left her to her own devices, she was glad he was reasonable for them both -

Marco meanwhile had stopped dead in his tracks, and turned towards her again. His blue eyes were filled with... awe? And... pleading. He didn't want her to make it any more difficult, she understood. He didn't want to have to go through that... When he spoke, she had made her mind: "Yes...? Do you want me to stay with you?"

"I..." Meene felt her cheeks burn with embarassment, so she shook her head, focusing her attention on the weapon she was still cleaning. "No. I'll make the trip by myself, I need to... be alone. Sorry for using your name, Commander." Putting her weapon away, she straightened up and smiled at him. She made sure that her smile was bright, bright enough to blind him, to hide the rampant fire of fear destroying her insides.

Marco nodded feebly, his eyes refusing to meet hers. Then he turned, walking towards a little cafe on the side of the road. He'd told her earlier that he wanted to meet an informant there. And he was right to do that; they had a grand mission. Putting it on hold for her would be a mistake.

"G-goodbye, Marco," she whispered after him, before turning to walk in the other direction, towards the stadium.

"You're just going too let her go to the stadium today? Sounds mean," chuckled a voice behind him. Marco did not seem to hear it. Or rather, he refused to. With his usual quick pace, he went to a bar on the side of the street, and asked for an espresso. Most of the bar itself wasn't completely... there. Rather, like a sketch half-finished, it ended in messy lines with faded colours. The barman was real enough, though, and Marco went to sit on one of the actual tables.

The voice wouldn't stop so easily, though. "I bet she doesn't even get there. I bet Luchist kills her at the cafe, like he did in the last loop."

Attempting to block the morbid chatter behind him, Marco looked through the window as he drank. He could still see Meene's shadow in the distance, growing smaller by the second. He didn't have to follow her. He knew what she was heading towards.

Her death, obviously. Why obviously? He could still stop her. She could change her mind. Luchist could corrupt her, one of the others could stop her... but he knew. Today, he knew.

"You unblocked my memory," he finally said. There was no trace of his usual fire in his voice. "Why?"

His persecutor was grinning as he sat in front of the blond man. He had a coffee too, Marco noticed. It was surely amusing, that they should like the same brew of the drink.

"It was growing boring. Without it you always try the same thing and it never works."

Marco blinked. He should have been angry, he should have thrown himself at Hao, but he didn't have the energy. Instead, he stared at his empty cup.

"... Why does it continue now that I remember? Shouldn't it stop on its own?
- You know why it won't stop, Blondie. As long as she dies, the loop is reset. As long as you don't save the day, both you and her will be stuck here. For ever. And remember? Maybe I don't even exist. Maybe this is all in your head, and you are stuck in some personal dimension of yours. Maybe I don't have control over anything. Who knows? You're the only one who can do anything. Why aren't you?"

Marco sighed, his head falling in between his arms. Hao's jabs at his situation were hitting their target every single time.

How many times had it been now? With his memories back, he could try to guess. It had to be around a thousand times now, or it would be soon. A thousand times repeating the same awful day in which Meene had to die and in which he had to watch his attempts at saving her fail. A thousand times playing the same tragic play for a king who saw only comedy in their frantic struggle for salvation.

The blond man remembered his first attempts, before he begged Hao to at least take his memory away. First he'd taken the obvious route, talked her out of going up against Hoshigumi. Only Kevin and Christopher went. But then as they came back, Meene lost it and killed herself. On his second attempt, he had decided to meet her at the stadium to try and talk her out of it again. But she had met Luchist in a cafe and he'd killed her. A mercy killing, really. Marco couldn't even be sure whether it was really the priest or if it was his own disgusting brain who had thought of such a possibility. The power of his imagination was indeed playing against him. On his third attempt he'd kept her locked in her room. And for some mysterious reason - a shortcut in her bedlamp - a fire had broken out, he hadn't heard her scream, and she had died. And then... and then...

He was tired. So very tired. Tired of waking up always the same way, of going through the same conversations with everyone, of telling her what was going on only for her to laugh it away, or understanding and promising to never forget about it all, about him... and forgetting, on the next day. She always did. No one - he had tried it with Jeanne, with John - no one ever remembered anything.

"Oh, this route's the shortest," said the cruel king in front of him. Marco looked up. "Can't you feel it?"

Hao touched his wrist, and suddenlly they were in the street. A red car with a broken windshield was stopped in the middle of the road. Behind it - oh god, so many feet behind it, she had literally flown across the scene - was a lanky body curled up on the asphalt.

"Car accident. It's been quite a few attempts since the last one," and Hao's voice was entirely too cheerful for the situation. "That one could have been avoided easily."

Marco sighed. All bad ends could independently be avoided easily. "She's not dead yet. Else the day would reset now.
- Ah, don't worry, it'll be quick now. There's no hospital on the island, and Jeanne is too far to help before the reset. You failed again, Blondie."

Marco didn't answer. "Are you sulking now? Mourning your dear girlfriend? Don't worry, she'll be there again tomorrow."

Cruel, so very cruel. Marco didn't have the energy to respond to that. In these times, he had trouble imagining that it could be anything but Hao himself, that monster - the alternative was far too horrifying. Could his own brain be so cruel? There was no way... But it had been a thousand times. More than enough to brew hatred for both the victim and the failed hero of this loop.

Marco didn't know. He didn't know if he could take it much longer. He didn't have the energy to beg for oblivion either.

Then there was a sharp cry from one of the fake onlookers. Meene was dead. And as life left her crumpled body, a dazzling light overcame Marco. The timeline was resetting.

And as he opened his eyes on that same day, the chief of the X-Laws knew he didn't have a choice.

Even if it was Hao and even if he gave him the choice to stop, he wouldn't. He refused to stop until Meene was allowed to live.

And if it took him another thousand tries to get it right, it didn't matter.