Title is from Taylor Swift's "Sad, beautiful, tragic." Cross-posted to AO3 under the name itsstrawberryblonde.

first, JAY

sorry, I mean James Sirius

(Potter, don't forget Potter)

the shy, quiet dreamer boy with his nose in a book and his head in the clouds

his imagination runs wild

but then reality sets in

when Molly plays a prank

James gets blamed for it

("James Sirius Potter, how dare you turn your cousin's hair green!")

he doesn't understand

(he wouldn't do that)

"it's in your blood kid," Teddy says

James (brave and funny)

Sirius (loud and mischievous)

Potter(great and famous and perfect)

(don't you see James? they're always gonna think it's you)

and the poor confused little boy

just wants to make you happy

so he tries to be

James (brave and funny)

and Sirius (loud and mischievous)

and a Potter (how can he live up to that?)

he ends up in GRYFFINDOR

(wouldn't want to be the first Weasley-Potter in Ravenclaw, would he?)

because that's who he thinks you want him to be

loud mischievous GRYFFINDOR James Potter

(not shy witty Ravenclaw JAY)

and he doesn't understand why you're disappointed

(this is who you wanted him to be, isn't it?)

and somewhere along the way he loses himself

(witty creative Ravenclaw Jay slowly blinks out of existence)

he stops writing, scared that someone might find out

(scared to disappoint you)

he tries to be better

(but what do you want? better grades, or better pranks?)

(he never really knows)

he takes solace in the few minutes he can use to sneak away to the library

and lose himself in books

(he meets her there, and for the first time in his life, he can actually be himself)

with her, he's not James Sirius Potter, Harry Potter's son and GRYFFINDOR prankster extraordinaire

he's JAY, the quiet creative boy who just wants to write

with him, she's not Annalisa Zabini, cold stoic arrogant SLYTHERIN

she's ANNIE, the shy witty girl who should have been a Ravenclaw

(just like him)

she lives in storybooks like he does his writing

and slowly they start to put themselves back together

(he hadn't even realized he'd e d)

(did you?)

he graduates with top marks

("he must have cheated," you whisper when he's not around)

(he couldn't possibly be anything more than a prankster, could he?)

he's marrying her, he tells you two weeks after graduation

(he's too young and he's too irresponsible and why a Zabini? echo through your mind)

he sees your disappointment and leaves without another word

(you don't know what's happened to him until Teddy gives you a book with his picture on the back)

(the author's name is JAY ZABINI)

he's not JAMES (brave and funny)

or Sirius (loud and mischievous)

or a Potter (not anymore)

(strike 1)

…

next is AL

or Albus, rather, Albus Severus Potter

(the perfect child)

he's not mischievous like James or rebellious like Lily

not too studious or too wild

friendly, popular, intelligent, talented

the golden child of the golden boy

(he's the one everyone comments on, the one everyone expects to do great things)

(to be just like you)

and maybe he's not as perfect as you think, but he'd never let it show

maybe he should have been a SLYTHERIN

(and you told him you wouldn't care if he had been, but you would have)

(he saw how you reacted to Lily's sorting)

so he doesn't say anything

just smiles and laughs and is

PERFECT

but then he starts t k

and just like that he falls apart

you find him dead in his room two months after graduation

everyone wonders why

but you know

(sorry I'm not perfect)

(strike 2)

…

and finally, LILA

(don't you dare call her Lily Luna, she's not your pretty little flower anymore)

(she's not a Potteranymore either)

Lily was always the rebellious one

the one you could never quite control

but you never expected her to be a SLYTHERIN

you're horrified but she's unapologetic

you decide that it's just teenage rebellion

by 15 she's all parties and boys and short skirts

you try to stop her but it just fuels her fire

("what are we going to do with her?" you ask, when it's 3am and she's still not home from a date)

(you don't have an answer)

James leaves three weeks before Lily turns 16

and she spends the rest of the summer drinking at muggle clubs

("my name's Lila," she declares one morning, with mascara smeared under her eyes and looking like she hasn't slept in days)

(you ask why and she says something about a boy)

you try to remind yourself that it's just teenage rebellion

(isn't it?)

she's the one who finds Albus

dead

and it drives her over the edge

(did you even notice?)

she leaves home three days later, moves in with a SLYTHERIN friend

(did you notice then?)

the next time you see her is Christmas vacation

("Lily, where have you been? we've been worried sick!)

she's still all parties and short skirts

but this time, there's something different about her

you find the baby clothes in a box on her dresser

when you ask, she doesn't even deny that they're hers

("how could you?" you ask)

(what you mean is "how could you do this to us?")

she tries to explain but

you don't listen

("do you even know who the father is?")

she leaves in tears but you know she'll be back soon

(where else could she go?)

only she doesn't come home

(you don't know if you'll ever see her again)

three years later you're at Rose's wedding

and there she is

(bright, smiling, with a little blonde girl clutching her hand and a ring on her finger)

and you want to say something, but what?

(she doesn't need you anymore)

a blonde man approaches her, hands her a drink

and you spot a matching ring on his finger

(your daughter is a Malfoy now)

Scorpius picks up Lily's daughter, spinning her around

("Daddy!")

(your granddaughter is a Malfoy too)

you move towards her

(say something, do something, your mind screams)

(you can't lose her)

but Draco Malfoy and his wife reach Lily first and she hugs them, beaming

you stop and stare

(even Malfoy is closer to your daughter than you)

and you finally realize you've already lost her

you've lost all of them now

(James – you never knew him, never tried until it was too late. now he's gone)

(Albus – too perfect, you didn't know he was cracking until he shattered. he's gone too)

(and Lily – the wild child, now with a family of her own, happy. she's lost to you forever)

(why? you ask, but it's too late)

when people ask, you'll blame insecurity, depression, rebellion

but you know it's your fault

(even your own kids can't live up to your legacy, Chosen One)

and you want to do something, to fix it somehow

but it's too late

you've lost them all now

and not even you, Harry Potter, can get them back now

(strike 3)